What do I say to him ?

Question

he's mad because I asked this on here on Y!A
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoBRuyfx9V50cNJ4ZDQlb7rsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071229143931AAyjBv1
He said "why cant you talk to me about this problem ? Why do you need to ask people on here? Why do you need other peoples advice and why do you say personal things about me on here?"

what would your response be?
Im not good with defending my arguements, but Im sure Im not doing anything wrong > Thats all I know.
Please help !

Answer 1

Tell him that you may not have handled things right - and you appologize - but! - you flipped out at what you discovered .. and it scared you.

Tell him you don't mean to be mean ... but if he would have handled these things - then you would not have to be involved. Tell him that you can't help it - but you are so worried that it might ruin you .. and ruin him ... that you needed advice.

Tell him that the people here online - don't know you .. and only offer their well-meant opinions ... AND .. that you NEED other people's opinions.

Applogize again.

THEN ! ... ask HIM to sit-down and have a long talk with YOU about all of this. Ask him to explain the whole thing to you. Ask him to leave absolutely nothing out. Ask him to explain HOW you all will get out of this .. and how it won't ruin your lives .. and HOW he intends to handle this. Explain to him that it is important to you ... and you are just worried, crazed, and have you the need to know the whole situation inside & out.

At this time, ask him any, and all, questions that you need to know. Ask him for the solution.

If he balks at telling you anything ... then tell him that this is one of the main reasons why you turn to other people for advice.

See what his response will be.

Answer 2

Now he's going to be mad that you "went behind his back" and asked THIS question on Y!A. He's a controlling person. Good luck. And no, you're not doing anything wrong. We're all strangers here and we don't know who the two of you even are!

Answer 3

I'm seeing a pattern here - you are not talking to HIM about the issues. Now, to be fair, you've already learned from him that he will lie to you about issues you bring to him but I can see that he would get upset by you taking it outside the marriage.

My advice, let him be mad - there are more serious things for you to be worried about. Save yourself now or he will drag you into bankruptcy along with him.

You both need to make a plan for finances (budget and you control the money) or you walk. That simple.

Answer 4

Make sure you have seperate accounts for your banking and his. Do not allow him to co-mingle any finances until he has his money problems in order. Lot's of people are deep in debt and continuously transfer money from one credit card to another with 0% interest for the first year. Then do it again. Unfortunately, most of these people fail to make regular payments so the 0% intro rate goes sky high. You need to protect yourself from his credit score, and keep from being liable for his debts. If he can not control his spending and money, you seriously need to discuss a divorce or a bankruptcy/financial planner. A divorce will seperate the assets until he can get situated without ruining your credit. You could still live together but without the liability. If he can not control himself, you need to reconsider husbands until he grows up.

Answer 5

I think he sounds like a bully and I think you are a little afraid of him.
I think you should be able to ask what you want to ask on yahoo. I do think however, you should have confronted him head on with financial things, or anything for that matter.

Shame on him for trying to belittle you. I don't deal well with that type of personality and I'd be making me some other plans that didn't include him.

Answer 6

Some times it is easier to ask us since you do not really know us than to ask someone that may go and tell other friends and such. This is just odd answers from people that do not really know you. I just happened to see this question and have no idea of what other questions you asked. Some may look back at your history ifin it is not blocked though.

Answer 7

I am sorry you are in this situation. Call a lawyer. Ask him/her what your options are. Your husband obviously couldn't care less about you or your life together.

He is profoundly irresponsible. He doesn't want other peoples' advice, because he knows they would ALL be against him.

Show that selfish B*stard the door.

Answer 8

I kind of agree you should discuss it with him first but you have do have a right for other peoples options as long as you keep personal detail to minimum. Maybe he is concerned that his financial issues are kind of out in the open.

Answer 9

Leave his asss he's controlling and a liar and you don't deserve that you could try confronting him about his obvious problem but good luck...you did the right thing going to his parents though

Answer 10

So you're back on here again, doing exactly what he asked you not to do?! What's wrong with you? It's not unreasonable for him to expect that you will talk to him about your problems, nor is it unreasonable for him to ask that you not publicize his personal life. So, STOP IT unless you want him to leave you because you're a complete flake. Sheesh.