Why are moms so pressured to get their baby to sleep through the night?

Question

All of my family and friends and even my daughter's doctor say she needs to be sleeping all the way through the night, like 10 hours without waking. She is breastfed and usually wakes up once to eat in the night. Does this mean I am doing something wrong? She will go to bed at 9:30 PM and wake at 3 AM, nurse, go back to sleep and sleep until 8:00 or 8:30 AM.

Sorry, my baby is almost 7 months old.

Answer 1

you didn't say how old she is but it sounds fine to me.
my daughter is 13 months and goes to bed at 6:30 and sleeps till 7-7:30
sometimes seh still wakes up at 4-5am and i will feed her and she will go back to sleep till sometimes 8.
my oldest would wake up 2 times a night till she was almost 15 months!
forget them, they obviously dont' remember what it is like to have a baby.
your doing good.
how old is your baby?

7 months?! and they want her sleeping 10 hours, don't worry hun if she is only waking up once you are far better then most!
your doing fine, and dont' stress yourself with what people say.
people always try to give advice, just wait for potty training. you just listen and then once you walk away leave it all behind you :)

Answer 2

That is ok, my 9 week old goes to sleep about 10 or 11 pm and wakes up at around 4:30 am to eat and then goes back to sleep until about 8:30 am, but my other son didn't sleep like that until he was almost 8 months old! It all depends on baby really and when they get hungry. Every baby is different, that is all.

Answer 3

I don't understand the obsession. The first year is filled with milestones and teething and separation anxiety - it's a wonder they sleep at all. There's this push to start solids early, wean early (if they get breastfed at all), and have baby sleep like an adult. It doesn't make sense - they're babies!
You are doing nothing wrong. It is completely normal for baby to wake. In fact, the light sleeping and nursing at night have been shown to reduce a baby's risk of SIDS. She'll sleep longer when she's ready. Until then, keep doing what you're doing, because it will pay off with a happy and secure kiddo in the long run.

Answer 4

No, you most likely are not doing something wrong. Why are people pressured to do it? There are two main reasons I can think of. One is that when the baby sleeps through the night, so can mom, and a full nights sleep is glorious. The second is because older babies who wake at night for feedings for for any other reason start to make it a habit, and whether they need to wake for anything or not, they still do because it is what they are used to. These kind of habits can be hard to break, and are easier to take care of sooner rather than later.

If you are content having your baby wake up to nurse at night, then you shouldn't worry too much about it. If, however, she is nursing for the sake of nursing and not because she is hungry or thirsty, she potentially will keep doing it, leaving you with a 12+ month old baby waking at night, and you wanting it to be different. Either way, as long as you are happy and the baby is happy, you're set.

Answer 5

Because moms seem to validate themselves through these piddley things. You're doing great! If your baby wakes up 1x a night to be breastfed, it's because she needs it--and you do too! You could try shooting for 12 hours (did this with 5 of my kids), putting baby down at 8:30 and then setting your alarm for 2 am, wake up baby (avoids startling crying in the am) for a 30 min diaper change and feeding and sleep in till 8:30.

Answer 6

If it feels right to nurse her, do it. Don't let the know it all doctors try and persuade you. And when your friends and family start to put the pressure on remind them whose the momma. Wakeing once in the night, is a blessing. I could only hallucinate through a sleep deprived head, of only waking once. Not to mention as a grown adult i don't sleep for 10 hours, with or without kids.

Answer 7

You aren't doing anything wrong- this is NORMAL.
I think from the sounds of it, she is on a great sleeping routine. She is sleeping 6 hours straight- that is considered sleeping through the night. Likewise, she goes back to sleep and sleeps another 5 hours. That's wonderful.

Both of my breastfed babies woke up from time to time. It happens. It's NORMAL.

I agree with Jillian- time for a new pediatrician.

Answer 8

Nope your not doing anything wrong. I have 4 children 12, 10, 5, 3. Only oneof mine slept through the night. My oldest didn't sleep through the night till she was 5. and My younger two current don't sleep through the night. They are all fine and health. Not all children are the same. LOL I don't even sleep through the night. I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 9

If you're fine with it, then dont worry about it. After 6 months of age there is no nutritional need for nightime feedings, since they should be getting all their nutritional needs during the day at that time, but there's nothing wrong if you're still doing it.

My daughter slept through the night at 5 months, and I was nursing too. I noticed she was a lot more calm during the day, and didn't get cranky as much, so I guess for her having an 8 hour period where she slept was really needed.

Answer 10

At 7 months old your baby should also be having two to three solid meals per day and together with the breastmilk feeds that should be enough to get her through the night without being hungry. At this age she is probably waking out of habit as you have continued to offer her a breastfeed when she wakes in the night. If you don't change this pattern it could go on and she will never learn to resettle herself when she wakes.

Babies naturally wake several times a night from sleep cycles just as adults do, but we roll over and go back to sleep. Little ones sometimes need help with this, escpecially if they are used to getting a reward for waking up (such as a breastfeed with mum). Instead of offering her a feed when she wakes, leave her be unless she cries. In that case go to her and pat or cuddle her and shhh her as many times as you have to until she gets the idea that she must go back to sleep. You may have to do it over and over but you should be able to gradually increase the amount of time you are gone as she settles by herself. (Never let her cry it out, by the way, it's counter-productive, confusing and upsetting!). In a sense what you have become is a comfort prop for her to soothe back to sleep. Have you tried a dummy (pacifier) or cot attachment with music and lights? I found those really effective.

All you have to do is stick to this method for a few days or however long it takes to teach her to sleep right through, she is old enough but not too young to learn to do this, it would be a good time to start. I am astonished how many people truly think that it is fine for babies over 6 months to wake up in the night! Granted they are all different and some will wake regardless of what you do, but all have the capacity to sleep through if their parents have the common sense to allow them to. Most sleep problems (including night waking) are caused by parents' inappropriate responses to their babies in the night (offering a feed, rushing in at every noise etc.) You are not doing anything wrong but it would be better to get her in a good sleep routine now than later. Everyone has different experiences and it is your baby but if you read books on the subject most will say exactly what I have - babies can and should be able to sleep through the night.

Read the baby whisperer books by Tracey Hogg. I have two of them that have helped me with sleep issues for my 2 year old and all other things as well. "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" has been my bible!

Best of luck.

Mum of 2 and 1 year old boys and former early childhood teacher.