What Do You Do When Your At The END of YOUR ROPE and you can't hold on anymore?

Question

I am about to have a nervous breakdown.I am so sad,it's physically making me ill.I am throwing up.i come from a strict family with high morals.my parents look down on people who have sex before marriage.well i started college this year and been dating this guy for a month,he started pressuring me into sex,the naive girl that i am,i gave in and started having sex with him.just last week i found out he's been cheating on me for a week.stupid me,he didnt use protection but didnt bust in me.i am so scared for my health now but i dont know where to seek help.i dont have money,i cant tell my parents,idk where to go to get tested.im extemely heartbroken,the guy is with the other girl now,ive been used and to top it off im stupid.i contacted him and he told me to get a life.im so hurt.idk what to do.my sorority sister knew he was cheating on me and didnt say a word to me.ive been betrayed.i trusted him completely and he made me believe that we would be together for a long time.im also sick.

i have kidney stones.i have excrutiating pain.my grades are bad.my parents accuse me on being on drugs.i feel so alone.everyones at my neck and im going through all this and cant tell my parents.im so lost.im so hurt.idk i am stressed all the time.i cant relax. i dont know what to do. please help!

Answer 1

I'm sorry this has happened to you. You didn't deserve it. Your college should have a health service where you can get tested. They should also have some psychological service where you can talk to somebody. The sad truth is that you are one of millions of college girls who fell for an asshole's stupid lies. It's unfortunately one of the many f***ing learning experiences that people go through when they've first left home. Predators like him know how to manipulate and lie to get what they want. You trusted him because you are a trustworthy person who has always probably dealt with trustworthy people, and you couldn't imagine someone like him, or like your sorority sister. This won't make the pain any less, but: you'll do better in future, and you'll be able to put this all in perspective and grow.

Answer 2

Get some help. Find a counselor. You have many stressfull things going on in your life right now. Deal with them one at a time.
Remember that you can do bad things but that doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes. If your parents can't understand that then they are too strict. Just don't tell them you had sex. I know this is hard to do because you really want to feel like you have your parent's approval and if you lie to them well, oh boy, you're really a bad person now. It's so sad that you believe you have to be a certain person in order for your parents to love you. You are a great and lovable person no matter what you do.
You decided to have sex. It's your body and you can do what you want with it. Now you see the consequences of what you did. Just learn from this and move on. A person who never makes mistakes never learns and grows. A person who's had a perfect life(if you ever meet one of these people let me know) hasn't really lived because mistakes and hard times are a part of life. The important thing is that we learn and move on.

Answer 3

Go to an R.A. from your dorm and see if they can help. Talking to friends, a counselor, a pastor or other spiritual leader can also help. If you have health insurance, you can go see a therapist, too. You don't have to go through this alone. I agree with some of the people who have answered about trusting in God, but a lot of times it's easier to say than to do when you've been hurt so badly. I do, because I've hung around really strong Christians for several years now, but sometimes it's even hard to do that-- especially when everything in your life seems to be falling apart. But it WILL get better. Try getting involved in a church, as people there are generally pretty decent and are just as cheerful as they are willing to help you with anything they can. I also go to a Christian 12-step program called Celebrate Recovery, which is for everyone and not "just" alcoholics and addicts. I started going because I had some "hurts, habits, and hang-ups" to deal with. I completed my 12 steps in August of this year, and I still go to class and/or to large and small groups whenever I can, because everyone there is a true and real friend. I couldn't decide on one particular sponsor, so I actually have several, and it's a help because you always have someone you know you can talk to. :-) Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help, okay? :-) Feel free to email me anytime, too. :-)

Talk to you later! :-)

Tink

Answer 4

College is hard. Especially when you're from a strict family. It's when you're learning that your life is your own, and you can't live off of your parent's rules and ways forever, which includes making sometimes poor decisions, and sometimes making great ones.

Your school should have a health center. Make an appointment there and explain that you want to get tested for STDs. Then would also be a good time to ask to be given a prescription for birth control, if you decide to go that route, which I will talk more about later. Planned Parenthood might also be a good choice to go to. They are sometimes free (depending on your income) and confidential. Go to their website for contact info. You also need to get your kidney stones taken care of. Focus on your health for a while. It's hard being a parent for yourself and telling yourself when you need to take a break, but it's something you need to learn to do.

Go see a counselor. (There should be some at your school). They will be very used to hearing stories like these and will be able to help you.

You will need to think about your values, which may be hard because they may differ from your parents. Do you truly value abstinence until marriage? If so, then accept that you made a mistake, and don't do it again until marriage. Don't beat yourself up over it. You can't take it back, so there's no use obsessing over it. If you have discovered that you don't really value abstinence until marriage (which is a personal choice of yours, not your parent's choice for you), then still accept that you have made a mistake in chosing a partner. Either way it is okay. People make mistakes. Then get on birth control (even if you don't have a partner for now. If you are even thinking about having sex whatsoever, you need to be on birth control). You parent's do not need to know you are on it, nor do they have a say in the matter, because as an adult you have a right to choose. ALSO, if you choose to go that route, buy a box of condoms, and keep them for when you need them. A common mistake is when girls say "no I'm not having sex, and I don't have a boyfriend, so I don't need condoms or birth control", and then suddenly, they are put in that situation. It's best to have them and not need them than to need them and not have them. If you have sex, you need a condom, even if you are on birth control.

As for the stupid guy, he is one of many. Yes, you have been betrayed, yes it hurts. The only thing you can do is to let time heal yourself and move on. And protect yourself in the future. Stop calling yourself stupid. He is stupid. You are inexperienced. Those things happen, and you just need to learn how to trust the right people, which takes time. After being dependent on parents, especially strict ones, it is very hard to be on your own and have to do things for yourself, but it is life. It is inevitable. It is a learning process. Now stop beating yourself up and keep learning!

Answer 5

This is exactly the position "our" enemy wants us to be in. The enemy comes not but to steal,kill and destroy.1This to shall pass. 2.All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. If any man be in Christ he is a new creation. Therefore there is no condemnation. If we confess our sins( particularly to God) he is faithful and just forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So you are forgiven by God sweet pea if you just tell him about all of it, just pour your heart out to him,tell him every thing every little thing that you think and is bothering you. I know your heart broken and its a valuable lesson you have learned, you wont be pressured into having sex again, you'll be doing what God says and you want to do. What have we learned TO DO WHAT I WANT NOT SOMEONE ELSE. Listen your not alone. Just remmeber that. IM NOT ALONE, Look on the bulletin boards for a clinic or free clinic in your college. If you dont find any inside the college there will be bulletins posted outside around the college. If worst comes to worst look up '"FREE CLINIC" on the internet so you can get an appointment. Visit a nearby hospital and ask the nurse where you can find a free clinic so you can get tested. Once you find this info your mind will slow down a bit. Try not to be bitter about the guy cause it will only hurt you. The best revenge is doing well. Dont let him shivel up your future. Love like hate is a decision. Once you get your test results then you can decide whether you're going to tell your parents. My hope is in God. he is always there to talk to . The more I read his word. The more of God's word I can insert into my situation. What God thinks about my situation is what counts. That is how Christian do battle. The word of God is our sword of the spirit. We use God's word against the thoughts that the enemy puts in our mind. "Im all alone--Im am with you always even until the end of the age. I hate that boy--Forgive so that you will be forgiven.. I may have a disease--I bind all STD's in and through my body here on earth. And whatsoever I bind on earth shall be bound in heaven. I loose the spirit of healing and health in and through my body, and whatsoever I loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven by Christ Jesus. HE THAT ENDURES TILL THE END SHALL BE SAVED. HANG ON. I LOVE YOU.

Answer 6

If you are at the end of your rope and cant hold on put yourself into Gods hands and let go and enjoy the "flying " some. By the way I always ask my kids when they encounter things such as this " did you learn something?" And if they did it wasnt a big lose it was a learning experience