If your husband is alcoholic, irresponsible with no care for family and life values, how do you react?

Question

Consider this in the following context!
1. You have tried your best to correct him, but failed.
2. He does not return home some nights
3. He indulges in all harmful pleasures
4. He finds fault with you and your parents always
5. He borrows heavily and do not pay back and the lenders take you to task.
6. He insults his parents and press them for money
7. He pawns your jewelry and live high
8. His pleasure is to nag about me and my parents
9. He loves his children and buy expensive gifts for them and ruin them too
10. You have enough means to live on your own with children

Answer 1

if this were my husband, and this was the kind of life i had, and i had the means to live on my own, i would seriously consider doing that, rather than live with a man who hurt me by his actions. sometimes we have to cut them loose, and go on with life. to stay in such a place will make u an old lady fast. emotionally it can destroy u.

Answer 2

Consider this in the following context!
1. You have tried your best to correct him, but failed. I would never try to "correct" him, I know that in order to change an alcoholic must realize they have a problem and WANT to change themselves.

2. He does not return home some nights. Locks would be changed when he got home.

3. He indulges in all harmful pleasures. Whatever his fate is his fate.

4. He finds fault with you and your parents always...he wouldn't be around long enough to do so.

5. He borrows heavily and do not pay back and the lenders take you to task...I would be divorced before that happened.

6. He insults his parents and press them for money..they're HIS parents not mine.

7. He pawns your jewelry and live high..I'm not attached to "things".

8. His pleasure is to nag about me and my parents...Why do you stick around and GIVE him that pleasure?

9. He loves his children and buy expensive gifts for them and ruin them too. He doesn't love his children, he feels guilty that is why he buys them expensive gifts..

10. You have enough means to live on your own with children...I would have been gone long ago.

Answer 3

I'm 18, my real father did all of these and died when I was 16. He left my mother when i was 2. I wasn't allowed to have any sort of contact with him. When my mother re-married, she married a guy the exact same. I'm not going to lie, he's ruined my life. He married my mother when I was about 5 or 6, I don't quite remember, all I know is that I'm now a senior at my high school, and don't want to go to college because I feel that I'm the only thing that's keeping my mom from getting hurt. He comes home from places he won't tell us and is completely plastered. For your children, leave him. I wish I could convince my mother to do the same. At least you see what is going on, my mother refuses to accept or see what is going on. Don't let him ruin you or your children's life like my step-father has.

Answer 4

I would divorce him, no wait I did divorce him. If you have exhausted everything in your power to tell him and show him that changes need to be made then it is time to throw in the towel. A marriage can not be made when there is just one person interested in making it. It takes 2 to make a marriage. Sometimes, when you leave, they wake up and realize what they are going to miss out on. Most times, though, that does not happen and they continue with their awful behavior practices. You have to ask yourself if you can live with him the way that he is. If you can then by all means stay. If you can not then it is time to find a lawyer and make a change for yourself. Only you can decide what is best for you and your kids.

Answer 5

before everything, he works 60 hours a week. that's particularly lots! you're exhausted and he's perhaps exhausted, too. Can the help stay somewhat longer so as which you would be able to slot in a sleep? Or are you able to nap while the newborn naps? additionally, have you ever tried appreciating your husband for the best issues he does? in specific circumstances appreciation works greater acceptable in a marriage than anger. to illustrate, you could write him a card thanking him for working so stressful on your little kin. Or the subsequent time he willingly takes your infant you could say, "thank you lots! you do no longer know how chuffed it makes me once you carry our baby. Do you think of you could carry him somewhat longer on the instant so as that i will (fill interior the clean)?" Many adult males do no longer likely know a thank you to work together with toddlers. in line with threat you may desire to purchase them some energetic toys to play jointly...or maybe an interactive laptop activity. :/ additionally, he may be addicted to the laptop. What does he do while he's on the lap good?

Answer 6

Hun, this is called "domestic violence." You either need to throw him out and get a restraining order, or you need to take your kids and leave. If he starts to get violent, call the cops. If there are signs of imminent physical danger, they are required to (1) arrest him, and/or (2) transfer you and your kids to a safe place. Once you and your children are safe, IMMEDIATELY file a protective custody order for the kids so that he can't try to get them back right away. Keep a journal of everything that goes on so that you have times and dates, as well as info on witnesses, etc., and save it to a flash drive that you can keep with you all the time. This way, even if he's able to get onto your computer or steal a hard copy, you still have everything you need with you so you can print it out again. Also, make sure you grab every kind of paperwork you can find-- birth certificates, SS cards, marriage license, car titles, deed to the house, current tax information, and info on any income he may have. You will need it-- whether you need to go to DHS or DYFS or whatever they call it in your state, or for court, or whatever. Keep emergency contact info on you at all times. If you have a home phone, have the number changed and write to the phone company that you "have a compelling need for a per-line block" so that he can't harass you on the phone at home. You can't change him unless he WANTS to be changed, but it sounds to me like he has no intention of trying to get better. Please, PLEASE get somewhere safe where he can't find you--at least for a little while, so you can figure out what you need to do. Email me if you need to, okay? :-) Good luck! :-)

Tink

Answer 7

If that is the way that you live then get out and make a new start. I was married to an alcoholic and got tired of all the crap that I had went through so we finally were divorced. My three children were grown and on their own.

Answer 8

Wow--you got a lot of advice on this one, so I won't chime in. I will say that I am a recovering alcoholic, sober 12+ years, so there IS hope for your husband. I am developing a Web site on the subject of alcoholism. My page on alcoholism and marriage may be of interest to you.
I wish you the very best.
Julie S.
new-life-in-recovery.com

Answer 9

There is a lot of info missing here, but that being said: Usually when one contemplates changing their situation, they weigh the pros and cons. Obviously you have made your list of cons. I don't see any pros here. Actually, this list of cons is so heavy that no list of pros could overcome that. You cannot correct your husband nor is it your job to do so. He has to want that for himself. You have to do what is best for you and your children and that is obviously not staying in the situation you are in.

Answer 10

leave him like yesterday....it's hard when you are in love with someone that you can't help. you have children you are there protector, you are there teacher, and guidance. Live a happy life let go if he gets help and you guys fix it before divorce is final great if not you are already on your feet