help help help?

Question

im 23 and have a girlfriend anna who is the mother to my 2yo daughter katie,iv been with anna for 5 years, im 70%happy in the relastionship. when i was 15 i dated my old next door neighbour natalie for something silly like 2 weeks, natalie was the first girl i really felt something for however after 2 weeks i just left her without saying a word and basicly ignored her.i dont know why i did that, maybe it was because i was shy or scared or just to imature to process those feelings i just dont know. now 7 years later im thinking about her all the time, and i feel really depressed like im suffocating, why am i feeling this after so many years, surely by now i should have completely forgotten about natalie,shouldent i?is it just that i want to be 15 again and have young love or is it i want natalie?shes engaged and has a child, i havent seen her since i was 15 so whats wrong with me. or is bcoz im thinkin what it would b like now if i had stayed with her, if id made a mistake 7years ago

Answer 1

Everyone wonders if they have chosen the right person to be with and sometimes wonders what things would have been like if they had stayed with an ex. I think your thoughts are symptomatic of a deeper problem in your relationship and not related to Natalie as such. You're very young to be in such a long term relationship with a child so maybe you feel like you trapped yourself a little and never gave yourself a chance to muck around and have fun with other girls - that's probably the suffocating feeling. The reason she comes to mind is because you only went out with her for 2 weeks so you never got to know her properly and still have that idealised image of her that we all have in the early stages of a relationship. She is probably totally different to what you think she is. But if you still love the one you are with then hang in there these feelings will pass and you have a child to think about now. Don't contact Natalie, you both have children - just love the one you are with and get over it.

Answer 2

Man, you're romanticizing something in your head for a woman you found so terrific that you left her after two weeks; you've had haircuts that lasted longer than you stayed with her, but you want to risk a seven year reality with your girl in favor of this fantasy vision of a woman you didn't stay with a month?
You're feeling restless and scared, and you're right on schedule; they call it the "seven year itch"...this s h i t passes if you let it. All couples go through it in some form or another, the wise ones (read "lucky"ones) hang on to those reasons that keep them coming home. You get to choose. Choose wisely, Grasshopper.
Anyway, whatever you decide to do, don't confuse it in anyway with this other woman. I'll bet my monthly salary she hasn't been waiting patiently by for you to show back up in her life after 7 years' absence...this from a guy who ditched her within two weeks. (As I write this, I'm surprised she isn't wanted for your murder...) The point is, don't count on her being happy to see you...it's just built up in your mind.
You can fix this. Good luck to you, and Happy New Year.

Answer 3

I have the same problem except I am married now and so is my ex-boyfriend. We have been apart for 7 years and I think about him daily. Sorry I can't be of any help.

Answer 4

Listen to Captian S that's your best one.

Answer 5

OK - this is a trick question, right? You know better!