Married love...what do you think?

Question

I had been single a long time when I married my husband. I loved him in a way, but mostly wanted to be married for security. The other day I heard the lyrics,
"She said she'd married her an architect,
Who kept her warm and safe and dry,
She would have liked to say she loved the man,
But she didn't like to lie."
Unlike the woman in the song, I realized that I deeply love my husband and am deeply appreciative of him because he does keep me "warm and safe and dry." Also, I realize that is how he shows his love... keeping me "warm and safe and dry."

Answer 1

Yeah, those lyrics are from one of my favorite songs, but what exactly is your question?

Answer 2

I know the song you are talking about. Pretty, but sad. Married love is different than romantic love. Life isn't easy, in fact it gets really hard at times. The person you want standing beside you during the hard times is not the person who has to be entertained all the time and you have to worry about impressing. You want a person who will be steady and will stand by you whatever happens, good or bad. Katrina hit and I lost almost everything, but I still had my fiance and two boys. We since have been married and she stands by me in everything, good and bad.
My first wife married me just because she wanted out of a bad situation at home with her mother. Seven years into the marriage she started looking elsewhere for attention, love, etc. She wasn't supportive and her whole world has to revolve around what she wants to do at that given moment. I have two wonderful sons by her. I guess you could say we are still friends, but I still always feel that our conversations deal with her problems, her feelings, her wants and her desires.
Both wifes had problems with their mothers, both were in bad situations when I met them, both have been abused growing up. The first woman thought that the man should take care of her. The second woman stands beside her man and they take care of things together. Which woman are you?
Men come in all shapes, sizes, jobs, money and health. No matter how great your man is, there will always be someone who might look better from a distance. But if a storm comes and takes everything away and you have to start all over again, will you be standing next to your husband when you are not "warm and safe and dry"? You may have had different reasons for marrying your husband. But you say that you deeply love him now. That is great! Don't lose sight of him, just because someone else looks better for a moment. It doesn't matter the size of the wedding cake, or the car you drive, or the area you live in. What really matters is that person beside you when the rest of the world has been blown away.

Answer 3

If I am right that song was about two old high school friends accidentally meeting again. They both were very lonely,
So they drank a six pack and reminised in the car because nothing was open.
Are you saying you love him but are lonely? Talk to your husband, tell him how you feel and what would make you feel better. If he loves you the way you say he does the two of you will work through this together.

Answer 4

Marriage is a blessing because it allows you to share your life with someone, establish memories, grow together. Security is very nice also, but should not be the reason for marrying because it will not last (been there). You want to marry someone who is your bestfriend. Someone you can talk to and laugh with... I do agree that most men do show their love by working hard and providing a safe place for their family.

Answer 5

What do I think? I think it is possible to grow into love, just like many people think you can grow out of it.
It may not have started as a deep abiding love, but has become that over the years. That's a good thing. Just remember to let him know, by both word and deed that you do love him. And he does need to know.

Answer 6

I guess what you are trying to say is that you love your husband but are not in love with him. Being in love with your husband is what makes a marriage not loose it's spark. I hope you are able to one day experience that spark in your marriage. It feels much much better than "security" love. Maybe you shouldn't have married this man. I wish you the best...try to find something about him that might make you fall in love...in real love!

Answer 7

I think this would be an example of growing to love someone.
Not the hot and fiery passion that snaps and pops and burns, but a slow, steady heat that keeps you roasty toasty.
:) Cool.

Answer 8

Yes it happens like that.. love comes from giving... and when you give to your husband.. you love.... thats how arranged marriages turn out alright (most of the time)


in hebrew the word for love ahavah has the root of hav in it which means to give... giving=love.

Answer 9

Yep, Get Your Point, But What Is Your Question?

Answer 10

You want validation and you should because you're right, just work on the self-esteem. And thank your lucky stars you're not married to someone like me.