Wife doesn't believe that two people (man/woman) can just be friends. I had female friends (platonic) that she was jealous of and stopped talking to them because of my wifes insecurities. My question is this: Would you hide a friendship from your spouse to avoid conflict? There is an old friend (ex co-worker) I want to see (female) and I know my wife would make a big deal out it if I told her about it. What should I do?
2007-12-29 11:06:52 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have tried including her in the past but she is really anti-social and doesn't want to come along or have them over. No budging.
2007-12-29 11:18:59 · update #1
FYI: I have never cheated on her in the 9 years we been together.
2007-12-29 11:23:31 · update #2
no tell ur wife that u dont like the other girl like that ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nice name 4 ur im
2007-12-29 11:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by Shelby M 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is a danger of having friendships with the opposite sex. My hubby has female friend and I have male friends but we don't hang out with them without the other being there. You don't have to be sexual to have an affair you can mentally also. So I mean just bring her with you... Don't spend a lot of time on the phone or alone with her that isn't right. Be honest if you think you have to lie then you shouldn't be doing it. No friendship is worth hurting your marriage
2007-12-29 11:15:56 · answer #2 · answered by Times2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you knew your wife had a jealousy problem when it came to female friends, and you have accepted it in the past, it will be a big problem. You should be honest with your spouse and if she can't handle meeting this woman, and letting you occasionally talk to her, marriage counseling is in order. Something is going on beneath your wife's surface. If you love your wife, please ask yourself why you would risk hurting her for an ex-coworker.
2007-12-29 11:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by tawniemarie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever hide a friendship.
(1) if your friend found out you were hiding that from your wife, i'm sure she would feel weird about it/think somethings up.
(2) most importantly, if your wife found out you were hiding the friendship, that would look EVEN MORE suspicious and confirm that her insecurities and jealousies were right--> i mean seriously, if my fiancée was sneaking around with another woman (and he says- we are just friends!) i wouldn't know what to think b.c that's just weird.
Just tell her. Both of you need to talk this out, because if you and this woman are just friends then she shouldn't be worried about it, right?? She shouldn't control who you are friends with/ and vise-versa. And you shouldnt hide things from her that might seem ridiculously suspicious :)
2007-12-29 11:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she does not like your opp sex friends becous she is insecure and has a trust issue .
if you hide this friendship from her and she finds out , even though it is totaly honest and inocent she is gona think all kinds of things , mainly that you are having an affair.
this is only gona make her feel even worse and trust you even less.be honest about and like others have said , take her with you , answer calls and emails etc in front of her and hopefully she will soon see it for the inocent friendship it really is. you never know, she may even get to like her herself.
good luck .......jealousy is a terrible thing, it eats you away slowly and destroys marriages .
2007-12-29 11:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by david h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would not hide a friendship, been there done that. Tell the truth, then you will be happy with yourself and even if she gets mad or upset or whatever at least you did not lie. What you keep in the dark will eventually come to the light. "murphy's law" "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong and at the worst possible time". Hope this helps!
2007-12-29 11:16:24 · answer #6 · answered by GradyWhite330 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need approach your wife in a friendly way and slow
down things specially with your other friend. Women take it
hard to share even friendship with others of same sex. So,
you need to handle it by proper communication and show your
true love to your wife first and promise her how much you care
about her(wife). Once you have established this relationship
with your wife and the trust she needs, then you can bring up
other friends in. Otherwise, she thinks that you are cheating
on her end up else where....
Good luck
2007-12-29 11:12:50 · answer #7 · answered by JustDoit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not hide it from her. I would include my wife in on the friendship. Invite her along if you meet the friend for lunch, drinks, whatever. Return calls or emails when she is in the room, show her that you have nothing to hide.
2007-12-29 11:09:56 · answer #8 · answered by coleyrm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's one down fall about marriage, if women is insecure about girlfriend leave it alone you can only bring trouble on for yourself and it is not worth it. If you have that person over with her are she's around when you see her that's ok, but chances are you will not. Sometimes you have to give up friends when you marry and it sucks, but her feelings must be considered first, that's what love is all about.
2007-12-29 11:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by deneansmith@att.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her stright forward that you don't want to lose a friend that you have known for however long and invite her to come along. What ever you do, do not see this person alone without your wife, you will be out on the streets or the doghouse if you do. Most likely she is jealous of your friendship and wonders why you can't talk to her like you do when you talk to your friend.
This is a very tough one to solve and I suggest you preceed very carefully.
Best of luck
2007-12-29 11:11:09 · answer #10 · answered by ♥STREAKER♥©℗† 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No...as a matter of fact hiding the friendship leads to problems.....whenever I talk to a female friend I make sure to let her know we talked.
2007-12-29 11:17:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋