Shine a lantern where I walk this path
Anger fuels the sweat that stings my wrath
The cracks are cracked and I'm sailing past
But, this pail of water has drained too fast
The lantern flickers forth shining light into beams
The colors start dancing, nothings quite what it seems
The birds sing songs, never hearing their sounds
My hands turn pitch black, and are glued upon the ground
A destitute limps forth, a spatula for a hand
My luck is turning, staring up as I stand
And there's a tower of silver, tossing coins from the sky
So i reach down to pick up, cause he's got a phone for a thigh
Dialing quicker and quicker when someone starts calling
Shaking and waking, my hands lay where they'd fallen
Freezing and white with paleness, everything is the same
I step down and I'm soaking, A pail of water is to blame
The poem is centered on the idea of reality versus something we do every night, dreaming. The 4th line discusses a drained water pail, and when he wakes up, and steps his feet are we
2007-12-29 10:39:48 · 10 answers · asked by John G 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music ➔ Lyrics
You've got what it takes. I was taken by your passion and the lyrics rhyme extremely well.
2007-12-29 10:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say thank you for not claiming this is a song. I hate it when idiots come post a poem and tell you to rate their song.
I thought it was very good. You might want to change a few words here and there. There were some parts where the rhythm was off.
2007-12-29 19:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it easy on the acid, OK?
Oh, but it goes without saying it is very good.
2007-12-29 18:58:46 · answer #3 · answered by jimi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! i love your rhymes at the end of each line... the poem flows throughout!!! each line i read made me want to read more!!! good job!!!
2007-12-29 18:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by MT!!!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awesome. Just awesome.
2007-12-29 18:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by newworld.life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is the best poem i have read so far on ya! and ive read alot! so *sanp snap* to you mate, your awesome!
2007-12-29 18:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by my name is not important here... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that is really good!
better than anything i could ever do =]
2007-12-29 18:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK ITS AN AMAZING POEM, IT IS A TRUE INSPARATION, IT IS VERY MEANINGFUL
2007-12-29 18:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by raleighd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is really good..keep it up
2007-12-29 19:19:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its great
2007-12-29 18:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by Adam B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋