Are you or your spouse against letting your guests go into your bedroom?

Question

My husband is against it and feels noone should go into our bedroom. We are having 10 guests over for dinner tomorrow (my aunts and a cousin and his parents) and we have two restrooms - one of which is in our bedroom and the other is in the front part of the house. Most of these people are older (50's and 60's and my grandmother is 90), and I could easily see one of them having to use the restroom (especially #2) and staying for a while. Knowing my family, someone will ask to use the restroom in our room and my husband is going to faint. What am I supposed to tell them? I don't think it's appropriate for them to hang-out in our room, but if somebody needs to use the restroom they need to use it. If we only had one restroom that would be a different story.

Also, we just bought a new house 9 months ago so none of my family has seen the house. They are going to want me to show them every single room. What am I supposed to tell them regarding the bedroom?

When we stayed in an apartment which was two bedrooms two bathrooms, my husband was the same way with my mother who lives in another state. When she came to our bedroom door she knocked, which was the polite thing to do. But if I even so much as let her peak her head in the door he'd have a fit. If I was to so much as let her come in our room he had a fit. So it was like I had to stick my head out the door or leave the room completely to talk to her.

His parents visit us often and at that apartment and our new house he allowed his mother and niece in our bedroom without any problems. When I was in the hospital a year or so ago his niece spent the night and slept in our bed with him. I used to babysit my little cousins and he didn't want them in our room. His mother asks can she come in, and I always welcome her in our room. He has no problem with that. But when it comes to MY family he has this look on his face.

I have talked to him about it and he has no excuse.

PEOPLE - PLEASE READ THE QUESTION.

Answer 1

It is time for you to stand up and stop letting him manipulate you.

I have a sister in ,law that doesn't even have a cell phone or a home phone. Her husband has a cell phone. He has 2 new automobiles and will not teach her to drive and she is always at his mercy or on the PUBLIC BUS. She says she is being obedient.

Controlling men clearly have double standards and he wants to call all of the shots. He chooses when to set rules and doesn't follow the complete rules himself. You cannot get time back that he has robbed from you. They cheat and know you will be there to receive them back and expect you to get over it. Basically, they get to have their cake and eat it too.

My sister in law (37), from out of state wanted to see our bedroom when we first got the house.We couldn't let her because it was in a state of CHAOS!

(This is my highest regret in life.) She was going to bible study one evening and someone killed her in an automobile head-on collision.

You work faithfully hard on your marriage, at work, and at home. You flip over backward, inside out for him.

You deserve to have no regrets beginning tomorrow.

Your relatives have been there for you forever, but a man will use you, abuse you , tell you you are losing your mind, and just trade you in for someone else and tell you its your fault.Relatives will be there for you until they die.

Answer 2

WoW, I find this very interesting. I just returned from a visit with my 3 married daughters at Christmas. They all have kids and no "guest room". In each case, the daughters and sons-in-law gave up their rooms and slept either on the sofa bed or an inflatable mattress so my husband and I could have a comfortable bed to sleep in.

I think your husband really has issues and needs some counseling on this.

Answer 3

As far as the use of a bathroom is concerned this is a non issue. If someone has to go...they have to go. If a bathroom is open they should be allowed to use it if the front bath is not available.

Every one gets a grand tour of a new house. They don't linger in the "private areas" but they do get a peak.

As far as your husbands aversion he needs to get over it. It isn't like they will be going through drawers or some other such nonsense.

Answer 4

If he was equally determined to keep ALL others out of your bedroom then I would say "fair enough". Then it would be a matter of privacy. But when he chooses to allow HIS family members into the bedroom and just makes a scene when its YOUR relatives, then I would put a stop to this immediately.
For him it seems to be a matter of control "I choose who does and who doesn't, and you have no say in the matter". That is sooo wrong! Do not let him do this to you. Tell him its your home too, so its your choice too.
As you said, you wouldn't expect them to "hang out" there, just use the bathroom and leave. And a quick look in when showing the house shouldn't be too much of a strain for him either.

Answer 5

Then I would make it into a big production, ridiculing him for his decision

"Now, normally on the tour, would be the bedroom, but you all know about Gerald's near manic obsession with no one going into the bedroom at all.

"Perhaps he is afraid you will put on his compy jammies, or decide that you really need to take a shower, or use the topilet with the extra super special, chocolate-covered crunchy toilet paper with the little pillows that cushion and cradle your every bathroom moment.

"Because of this, i will be force to show rather crude crayon drawing of the room, in the vain hopes of releaving the glories that lie beyond this door."

Aside from getting a good chuckle from everyone, it may help your husband understand that there is nothing wrong with allowing people to use tje facilities

Answer 6

Normally we do not open our bedroom to guests. But this sounds like a special occasion with special guest needs.

If you feel weird about it you could consider buying one of those oriental screens. It can divide the room and direct people to the bathroom and conceal the bed or whatever you want to hide.

Have fun at the party!

Answer 7

My husband and I let people in our bedroom all the time. Are you afraid they are doing to find something or what? I'm not sure what the big deal is. If someone needs to use the bathroom in your bedroom, you should let them (otherwise you are being rude and inconciderate). Plus it would feel as an insult if you told your own family members that they cannot go into your room or bathroom. I understand not wanting people in your bedroom, but it's your and your husband's family members...so what's the big deal??

Answer 8

Your husband might want to speak to a professional about his issue, that's unreasonable and silly (to be honest). Make your bed, tidy up your room, put your valuables in a safe place if you fear tampering, and it shouldn't matter who sees your room, passes through your room, or hangs out in your room (as long as they don't lie naked on your sheets).

No big deal...especially with a housefull of guests, the master bedroom's bathroom should be available. Absolutely.

If there is fear of people doing inappropriate things in your bedroom, then why are they in your home to begin with?

That's an issue I've never heard of before (re: your husband)...wonder what got it started...

Answer 9

Just make Sure You "escort" them to the Bathroom in the bedroom, and explain to your family members that "your husband doesn't like Anyone in ya'lls bedroom". Nothing wrong with that. And since they haven't been there before, you may as well get the "no bedroom rule" out of the way. In case of an "emergency", just make sure you escort them yourself so your husband doesn't faint. lol !! Good Luck !!!

Answer 10

I don't like it either but I wouldn't freak out about it. I think the bedroom is your personal space and that's were most of my private stuff is located so I'd prefer people not hang out in my room. Plus I keep my firearms in my room!