she tells me she thaught she was going to be able to deal with it but she cant and its made me hate her.i get so angry that ive suggested divorce but that just make it worse.it gets so bad i want to just run away.she wont let my past go.she is constantly bringing up my past.i do love her but i cant hadle the fighting and screming.im going to have a heart attack if it doent stop.i feel it coming on.
2007-12-29 10:00:37 · 11 answers · asked by kim s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm so sorry to hear that she's giving you such grief over seeing your own children.
now, please take a deep breath, because you seriously don't need to have a heart attack.
I'm guessing that your wife is jealous of your ex-wife and the children because you two had them together. but she's going to have to realize that all of that took place long before she came into the picture.
your wife needs to realize that your ex is your ex for a reason, and that she's now your wife, and that those children are innocent in this whole situation, and they need stability at both their mother's home, and your home.
it's time for your wife to grow up and stop bringing up your past, regardless of what's in it, and get on with the present and future.
and she's going to have to work on her jealousy issues, and learn to love and understand those kids and have a good relationship with them. if she doesn't, she's going to lose you.
she's obviously robbing herself of the pleasure that the children could bring to her. she has to stop looking at the children and seeing them as something bad. those kids are yours, and that's all the reason in the world for her to love them as her own!
your wife is being immature, plain and simple. and she can overcome all her issues with your past, your ex, and the children if she will only try. and if she chooses not to, then she's the one who's going to throw away a great husband and great kids.
and I sincerely hope that you let her read this. maybe it will help her to see that she's being unreasonable.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers, and I wish you all the best.
2007-12-29 12:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well divorce maybe your only option here. because those are your children and they are gonna be around for the rest of your life, She knew about this before you got married and still agreed to sign on tell her to accept it or take her butt to the courthouse... Because no one should pick a spouse over thier children....... Sounds like she is jealous of your children and if that is the case run fast because it won't get better! And honestly I think she may using your kids as a reason to keep fighting with you so she can leave ever think of that? Put your foot down and let her know my kids come first and if you cant handle that move on!
2007-12-29 10:06:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Are you willing to go to a marriage counselor to work things out? It sounds like she's insecure and that's her issue. If she's willing to go into counseling and make an effort with your marriage, that's one thing. If not, then you should bring it to an end. You'll only resent her more if you stay married. It's unrealistic for her to expect you not to have contact with your children. I can't see how divorce will be any worse than what's going on now.
2007-12-29 10:13:40 · answer #3 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She most likely doesn't know these kids - and isn't given a chance to. Are you going to the ex's house to see them - if that what is bothering you? Ask her if its okay if you invite the kids over --- she is scared --- scared that the kids will take away time with her - Let her know that you want to include her in the visitation part - because she is a very important part of your life--- Make HER feel special - and then the kids part should come with it - and she will feel more secure in you being a part of their lives. INCLUDE her in it.
2007-12-29 10:07:54 · answer #4 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is a a bond between two. And if she can't trust you enough to see your own kids then you might need to tell her you love her. And there my kids and i loved them two. Let her know she is the only one you could ever love and dont let her forget it. if it doesnt work and she keeps doing this get a good lawyer. It may lead to a divorce. Sorry mate.
2007-12-29 10:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, take a breath and clear your mind. the real problem here is expectations and being able to communicate about them.
seek some counseling and get a grip. emotions are the enemy of a reasonable decision you can live with. don't get me wrong, emotions are great, but they should always follow your intellect, not the other way around.
2007-12-29 10:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by freeD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have an obligation as the father of those children.
If you didn't support & see them, a court would order it.
It should be no concern of hers, she knew that going in.
Either meet them somewhere else, or send her out.
Perhaps the real issue here is about their mother.
Get her to see a counsellor (watch Dr.Phil or Judge Judy).
2007-12-29 10:10:20 · answer #7 · answered by Robert S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her your past is over and you want to move on but she is making it very difficult. Both of you sit down and talk explain things to her in a calm tone trust me it is much easier.
2007-12-29 10:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by anniemusgrove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear you:
Now might be the time to incorporate some marriage counseling in your life. In my opinion, your wife shouldn't be giving you a hard time about seeing your kids. She should be supportive of you.
2007-12-29 10:08:38 · answer #9 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a right and resposibility to see your kids REGARDLESS of what your new wife may think or say .
You have no right to put a woman before your kids .
Absolutely not .
If she cant handle it then you should leave her .
2007-12-29 10:08:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋