Would you forgive this?

Question

i am 17weeks pregnant,the first time ever my husband raised his hand on me yesterday,and in order to get away from him i was pulling my self away really hard and that caused lower abdominal pain all day long and body aches all night long,he made mean comments about my postpartum depression from my first kid and that hurt me the most.Since last night he been saying sorry and that he is very ashamed of his attitude,and he will give me all the hapiness i deserve in this world. He have given me everything a girl could wish for materialistically,but after what he did and said last night,those things doesnt mean anything to me. I just told him to stay away from me and i am with him just for our son and our unborn child so basically for my kids. Should i forgive him? or just keep my distance from him from now onwards?

Answer 1

Absolutely unforgivable. I would leave him. Do you know that murder is the leading cause of death for pregnant woman & most woman who are murdered are murdered by their spouse or boy friend. Most of the time there is an indication of domestic violence before the act.

No one ever thinks it will happen to them, but it does.

I am so sorry you are going through this now, especially while pregnant. I hope you have someone you can turn to for help.

Answer 2

First of all what was the reason that he did put his hands on you in the first place, you did not include that. Well when it comes to hurting especially when you are pregnant with his child that is not right in an situation what so ever. It is not a matter of staying with him and keeping you distance from him, that will turn into very big problems later. The real question is do you still trust him, do you trust that he will protect you? Do you think that this is something you fear is going to happen again? Think about the answers to those questions then sit and think about what is best for you and you children!

Answer 3

I would ask him to get counsling before you forgive him. You both can go or he can go by himself.
He can find out why he acted the way he did and get help to change.
Saying sorry and being sorry are two different things. This would show you he really is sorry.
Then you can see if there is a reason to forgive him.
He may be having a problem that you do not know of.
Staying with someone just for the kids is not a good reason to stay. They grow up acting the same way their parents act.

Answer 4

Sounds like a red flag to me. If he puts his hands on u (especially while ur pregnant), that's not a safe situation to be in anyway. And also, u say that ur only with him for the kids (which means that ur not happy), then u shouldn't be with him anyway. BUT ur pregnant & I know that it will be hard & stressful to go through this alone. I wish u the best of luck with whatever decision u make!!! =)

Answer 5

i frankly would not be with any man just for the sake of the kids, o was in a similar situation, im 34 weeks, mine did not want another kid, we have a 7 year old and a 15 month old and he simply did not want another and blamed me entirely, put me through hell, i left his a$$ and he realized at that point that he was wrong, it forced him to reevaluate things, and he decided he does want this, however i have had time to reevaluate as well and i am not so sure. we have been apart for a few months because he is visiting family but will be back in 3 weeks, my advice to you is to not stay in an unhappy situation for the children. if you are in any way in an abusive position, or unhappy you need to keep walking, you do not need someone tearing you down physically or emotionally, your children do not need to bare witness to it either, you need to do what is best for you to be happy and healthy, because when mommy is happy and healthy the children will be as well. Do not listen to people who say that kids need both a mom and dad in the same home to grow up normal! they are not going to grow up normal if things are unstable in the home. kids are smart even if they dont see it they sense it. good luck and if you need any moral support email me!

Answer 6

He raised his hand to you, but didn't hit you.

So WHAT?!

Physical abuse is only one kind of abuse. Mental and psychological abuse is just as dangerous.

It's quite easy for those of us far away to say leave him, but it's a decision only you can make.

I wonder, do you want your son to grow up thinking that the way your husband treats you is the way he should treat women?

If your husband is caring for you financially and materialistically now, I say make him give your children a decent life. You don't have to be together for that to happen.

Answer 7

Ask yourself these questions...

1. How often does he exhibit this type of behavior?
2. Does he hurt you physically and emotionally most of the time?
3. Why does he do these things?

This is very serious and should not be taken lightly. You sound like if you really love this guy bc your debating wether or not to forgive him. Please know that your baby is in danger and that you need to get away from him for now at least until the baby is born and a little bit bigger. Please look out for your baby's health.

Answer 8

I would look more into why he is behaving like this .. You may wanna look deeper into him maybe having an affair as they like to bring up all sorts and guilt will allow them to raise their hands to you and throw all sorts in ya face .. OR we dont know what the argument was about so if you at all were to contribute to the frustration then you have to think , but No excuse to raise a hand to anyone you should not have to put up with that in any circumstances..

Answer 9

I'm sorry to say that you need keep your distance. No man who raised his hand on his wife deserves forgiveness especially if the wife is pregnant.

Answer 10

Forgive him.
Get a divorce.
Your children do not need a domestic violence fool as their role model.