Would you forgive this?

Question

i am 17weeks pregnant,the first time ever my husband raised his hand on me yesterday,and in order to get away from him i was pulling my self away really hard and that caused lower abdominal pain all day long and body aches all night long,he made mean comments about my postpartum depression from my first kid and that hurt me the most.Since last night he been saying sorry and that he is very ashamed of his attitude,and he will give me all the hapiness i deserve in this world. He have given me everything a girl could wish for materialistically,but after what he did and said last night,those things doesnt mean anything to me. I just told him to stay away from and i am with him just for my our son and our unborn child so basically for my kids. Should i forgive him? or just keep my distance from him from now onwards?

Answer 1

Well for a man to hit a woman is a horrible thing but to even consider it while shes pregnant should be a serious crime. Growing up because i lived in an abusive enviroment i vowed to never even think twice about a man that would ever raise his hand to me. But ive learned that you do need to learn to forgive though staying with him is another issue all together. Do you love him? sure he dosent physically abuse you all the time but does he emotionally? it kinda seems like it. If i was you id leave him forawhile. ask for a trial seperation. see how things go see if he changes for the better or worse. and he should already be giving you all the happiness in the world you deserve. he shouldnt have to say it again and again. just follow your heart and if you think he really means it or not. but the thing with guys is if they hit you once they will usually hit you again.

Answer 2

leave him.
at your next appt. with your dr. tell them, and that you want to leave but need help. they can refer you to places that can help till you get on your feet. raising a hand to a pregnant women, he isn't just hitting you, but the baby too, and being pregnant makes it harder to get away safely...if he hits you again and you loose the baby then what???
do you want your son to learn to hit when he is angered by someone???? in cases like this you have to think it may be better for your son to leave so he doesn't see anything like this.
THE FIRST TIME IS THE LAST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!
if you stay you are sending a message to your man that it is okay, and that you are allowing it to happen. don't forgive him leave him. You deserve better, so does you son, and little bean. it is not easy but you know deep down that it is what is best....please you don't have to make plans....get to your ob they care about you your son and your unborn child......they can help you more then you know...police departments, courts,hospitals have all the info you may need and can help you "disapear" for a while (yes in a womens shelters for abused familys) they will not let him know you are there, even if he calls one you are at, they will say they can't give out residents info (this keeps everyone safe, including the other women and staff) and they won't take info... a lot have a no contact rule...you can't talk to him...these are good, so hubby can't convince wifey to come back for some more.
call your ob they can give you info over the phone.

Answer 3

Nobody can tell you what to do. And if someone does tell you, you are likely to do the opposite. But here goes.
I'm not sure what you mean by "first time ever my husband raised his hand on me" but I'm guessing it's not a good thing. If he hit you you need to leave. For yourself, your child, and your unborn child. To not do so is putting your children in danger. Next, he needs to seek help for having done so. If he doesn't get help you can be in trouble with child welfare. But while he is getting help you should be out of the house or he should leave. Forgiveness comes later.
I'm so sorry you experienced this. You don't deserve the physical or the emotional abuse. Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Answer 4

Wow...a very difficult situation. I understand this is advice that you may not be interested in and I understand that, but I feel obligated to share. I know that our society has made so many thing commonplace and easily acceptable, but divorce is a sin--of course, all sin is forgivable and no sin is worse than another in God's eyes--but if you both would seek the Lord to strengthen your spirits and raise your children in a home that seeks God first, there is nothing He cannot do. Through (Biblical) counseling, a batterer has every chance of becoming a loving, doting husband that any other man has. Forgiveness is also a special thing...but people do not change on their own--it is not human nature. I hope that you find resolution--do whatever you need to do to keep your babies safe, they deserve so much love.

Answer 5

Personally no i would not espcially sence you have a small boy in the house hold. What do you think his behavior will teach your son??? Also if he will raise his hand to you at all i truly believe that he is capable of hitting you. You really should not be upset right now it's not good for your unborn baby or you. I would keep away your children are more important.

Answer 6

Is this an isolated incident? You said this was the first time he raised his hand, but is he rude to you or verbally abusive? Does he treat you poorly in general?

It's never ok to raise a hand to anyone, man or woman. You have a right to be upset and angry and to question this. However, if he is generally a good man and has been a good husband, I would consider sitting down and talking this out with him. He could be stressed about the pregnancy and with the way pregnancy hormones effect us, it could have just been a bad combination.

In any event, he needs to know that this is unacceptable. If he is at all abusive to you, get out-kids or not. You wouldn't want your son to see how his dad treats you and think it's ok.

Answer 7

I think that you should think of the children. Staying with him might mean that he would do something like that to them. You might be doing better by them if you get out and get them out of a violent household.
I know you said this is the first time, but you are 17 weeks pregnant and if that doesn't stop him, maybe next time it would be worse.
I would at least stay away from him for awhile, he has a lot to prove to you before you could begin to trust him again.

Answer 8

For the time being perhaps forgive him but don't let this incident slide. I would document it and watch for signs. You do not wantthis to become routine and eventually develop into something worse. That is where you should draw the line for YOURS and your CHILDRENS SAFETY! Most importantly as rash as this may sound hitting should not be taken lightly, you should develop some sort of back up plan just in case. Hopefully this will not happen again...good luck and stay safe!

Answer 9

He is an abuser. Material things are what abusers use to "appease" the abused. "Look at what all I've given you" they say. No amount of "things" can take away all the hurt they cause. You should not stay with him because of your kids. Look at what you'd be teaching them. You'd be teaching your son that it's okay to physically and verbally abuse women and to not respect women. He will learn to be what his father is. Your daughter will learn how to be treated by men. She will expect to be treated as you are being treated. She will not stand up to the men in her life and will become a doormat to them. She will not have any respect for herself and not believe that she deserves better.

The best thing you can do is to get out .....for your kids (and you).

Answer 10

eww. That's tough to say, The fact that you are pregnant plus carrying HIS child makes it worse. I would say that is a very bad sign. This is the first step to domestic violence. I personally would be like "see ya pal". But I know it's not that easy when you love someone and you are pregnant. It's all up to you, and what you feel that he is capable of. I wouldn't take it lightly. If nothing else make him see that you won't put up with it. If nothing else pack a bag and take a weeks vacation. Better yet pack his bags!