Feedback on this please.?

Question

Here I lie in my bed,
dreaming of my sleepy head.
Her brow rests gently on my chest,
she is the one that I love best.
I hold her close and stroke her hair,
whisper that, for her, i'll always care.
I know she sleeps and hears not my words,
I bet she dreams of beautiful birds.
Thats what we are my love and I,
two birds on the wind and away we fly.
I wake in the morning a smile on my face,
knowing in my soul she was in this place.
Her soul was here resting on my chest,
maybe someday I'll hold the rest.

Answer 1

Hi,

I'm not strictly a fan of Rhyme, and this might seem a bit simplistic, but more importantly, I suggest you share it with the person involved.

On a deeper level obviously this speaks of something not yet a reality, and that saddens you. Without knowing the situation at all, or the Bird context that might also be relative to her, OR not? I'd probably offer this piece to her, and see what happens.