Why does the US seem to have a problem with people say in their late teens dating older men?

Question

I'm talking girls 17 y/o upwards dating men of around 27 upwards. Why is there such a hardline attitude to this, yet women mentally mature quicker than men and a 27/30 year old is more likely to be able to take care of her than some sap her own age who is probably more interested in screwing around.

I'm not talking legality here. I find US law very eccentric. Low cut jeans are banned in some states yet you can openly buy guns from a young age.
That's what I call immoral.

I'm not going to win this one as the majority of people answering are Americans who have been cultured into a very conservative way.

WATTS 2004 - EXACTLY!!! you get my point!!!
I'm not sure why so many parents would want their daughter hanging out with young boys who generally less mature than girls their own age.
Well done!

TIFGOOD - I really don't get your point, why wouldn't a 27 y/o man date a beautiful girl of 17 who he gets on well with and really loves.
I think you've had a very sheltered life.

Phlada64 - you're missing the point as well. At 27 the man is much more likely to take of your daughter, look after her, make sure she doesn't get into trouble than a 'boy' of 17 who has no experience of dealing with life.
I'm talking about a 27 year old with a job, own home, own car, etc... not some unemployed bum.

Saturn62 - Excellent point!!!
In the UK it's legal to have sex at 16, but it's illegal to buy a pornagraphic magazine until your 18!!!!!
How come you can actually have sex and do everything, yet it's illegal to look at pictures of it for another 2 years!!!!
Bizarre!

My situation anyway is that at 24 I met a girl who I didn't know at the time was 16, She actually worked for me!
We've now been together 5 years, I'm now an embarassing 30 and shes now 21 . Thats longer than a lot of marriages. At 24 I was able to look after her properly, give her great advice and really take my time. I know from experience that if I had met her when I was 17 I would have got drunk a lot, not called her back and generally been a prat!

KRINKN - A well thought out and intelligent answer. Thankyou.
You are correct, she might grow away, and so might I but in the process I have had a fantastic 5 years so far!
You can't say fairer than that!!!

Answer 1

I know what you mean I am 22 and my hubby is 35! It is in the way the men are! They know how to treat a women and most are out of the hoodlem stage! When women are ready to settle down they want someone they know will be there and can count on!

Answer 2

A 17 year old is still not legally allowed to date a 27 year old. Aside from legalities, it concerns me that a 27 year old would actually date a girl that young, and I really think that there is something WRONG with a society that would condone that age difference. The maturity level of a young girl at 17 is NO WHERE close to that of a 27 year old man (no matter how immature he is). Sorry, it's not a good idea for either person.

Answer 3

Speaking as the mother of 3 daughters, I know that even though their bodies may appear to be mature-their brains havent finished developing. This usually means their judgment is off. On the other hand, a grown man of 27 or older is supposed to have a little more common sense. Other than sex, I dont know what a 27 or older male would have in common with a 17 yo female. Mothers know this and I think that's why you'll find a little hesitancy to allow their teenaged girls to be intimate with an older man. Call me cautious or protective.

Answer 4

Generally we like to think of our children as forming a relationship with someone who is their emotional, intellectual and social equal. Like many parents, I feel it is very difficult to have equality in a relationship where one person is so much older than the other.

In a relationship with a younger member and a much older member, the younger partner is trading in his or her parents for a new parent: the older partner. This unnaturally extends adolescence and encourages dependence in the younger partner. I'm sure you can appreciate what a poor choice this would be for a young person.

The divorce rate is 50% in the US so there is a good chance that everyone will have to earn a living independently and support his/her children. When one has been unnaturally coddled or 'taken care of' it makes this sudden independence very difficult for the younger person.

I'm sure you do not think this is the case for you and your girlfriend. You may feel you are doing her a service by taking care of her so well. Although keep in mind that men generally die younger than women. You marry be sentencing her to a very long period of widowhood.

Notice I do not discuss what her feelings are. The emotions of teenagers are very strong. The world is a very black and white place for them. This is partially due to the physical state of their brains. Studies show that the brain is still growing pathways and neurons into the early 20s. A teenager isn't completely capable of comprehending the consequences of a decision simply because the neural pathways are not finished growing. This is true in even a 'mature' teenager. Knowing that we can't rely on an adolescent for really excellent judgments on important, life-changing decisions (like marriage) we have to appeal to the good sense of the older partner.

Best of luck to you for future happiness.

Answer 5

Because when a 17 yr old dates say a 27 yr old ..not long thereafter he gets tired of playing teacher and wants to play student.

Reverse Role Playing. It's common, one day someone wants to play as the victim and the next day the aggressor?

My friend was 17 and dated an older man...until one day she came home and caught him in bed with a woman his own age (or could have been a little older)...I remember it broke her heart.

Answer 6

I'm only a few years older than 17 myself, and I can't even relate (mentally) to teenagers anymore. So there must be something wrong if you can. I think girls think it's cool at the moment to date someone older but then they grow up and really look at the kind of older guys that pick up on teenage girls, and they realize that they're all generally losers who can't get someone their own age.

Answer 7

I never new that there was a problem with it. My dad was 26 and my mother 16 when they got married. I married an 18 year old when I was 35 and before that had an 18 year old girlfriend when I was 27. Nobody has any control over when they were born.

Answer 8

People tend to look at a girl who is 18, 19 years old as still being a child in many respects. While a late 20's man is considered an adult. It all varies from person to person though.

Answer 9

Your sexuality up to 18 years old is meant to be repressed by societies norms, taboos and laws in most states of the good-ole USA.

With this being said, I can also state that youth can be manipulated in many different ways by adults. Young men and women can join the armed forces at 15 or 16 if given parental consent and kill people in the name of his/her government.

But, that same person can't get a beer at a local bar or have sex with an older adult over 18 until they reach the age of 18 in most states........

The whole system stinks to the hilt in regards to sexual activity and what our youth is and is not allowed to do except unless its government sanctioned.

Answer 10

Because under current US Law it's ILLEGAL...The assumption is that a 27 year old man will be having sex with his girlfriend, and sex between a 27 year old man and a 17 year old girl is Statutory Rape, regardless of whether it is consensual.