Problem with new husband?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together as a couple since 10th grade and we got married three weeks ago. We are both 25 years old and Christians. We saved ourselves for sex until marriage. Well our first night together as a couple we have sex and to my surprise his penis was barely three inches long when it was erect. I had to put on a play just so he was thinking he was making me happy. I dont know what I should do? We dont believe in a divorce so dont give me that answer.

Answer 1

No, you don't need to divorce...you just need to get creative.

Penis size is much less important than skill. Since you both were virgins until a few weeks ago, you both have a lot to learn about sex. Try some different positions (you on top, for example) and techniques (oral sex) and experiment with some new things (vibrators). You will be fine as long as you are both willing to learn and are honest with each other about what feels good and what doesn't.

Answer 2

This is why couples shouldn't wait until they are married for sex. Once they know they are going to get married, they should be experimenting, even in the most strongest of Christian of relationships in this day in age. This abstinence idea that comes from the top (George W), and preached to us to be the best way to get more divorces.

Here's your challenge: It's not going to be the smaller-sized penis, it will be the drive and interest. A small peter can stand up to the (unnatural) porno grade size, if the drive stays equal to yours as being naked together, friction and foreplay can be more exciting than the actual intercourse that's rarely rewarding in itself to a woman. If you have higher expectations of the entire activity, or if he does, eventually someone down the road will likely stray (as every relationship is tested). I am sure that sounds quite impossible in a fresh new marriage, but give it about five to ten years, and an unsatisfying sex life will cause problems.

It's so ironic how a healthy sex life is not that big of a deal to a relationship/marriage, but somehow it's one of the most important issues if it's bad. I am all ready hearing that tone in your question, that you're all ready heading down that road where partners can stray one day.

Answer 3

You & he have been together for a long time, which indicates that you have a special love together.

I hope this special love is strong enough to endure.

You both have a problem.

He .. is a man .. who can do nothing about the size. And .. as a man - that is a difficult thing for him to deal with. It can upset his manhood ... especially if his mate is not happy about it.

Then .. you have to pretend, and act to be happy - when you are not happy.

One thing is for sure - his size is what it is .. it will not change.

I have always heard, that size did not matter -- but it was how the man performed which made the difference .... however, both of you saved yourself for marriage (which I think is absolutely wonderful) .. and he has not had experience. I don't know if it would be the eperience which would make him more knowledgeable about it, or not.

And .. for you to be able to talk to him about it, would just tell him that you are not happy about it, since you are needing to talk to him - which would just cause more problems.

So .. the first thing you need to do is for YOU .. is to think about this for a very long time. Give yourself enough time to get past the surprise, and the dissappointment. Think about it enough to know exactly what you want to do about it .. and that it has to be faced.

Ask youself personal questions .. questions that only you would be the one to be able to answer. Like .. how do you actually feel about it? Will you be able to live with it forever? How important is it to you? Do you think you will definitely HAVE to discuss this with him ... and if so - how will he take it? What can be done about it? .. if anything. Will you & he resort to other things ? .. is he willing? .. are you willing? What other options are there? Would he go for other options? And .. in the way-future .. do you believe that it would bother you so badly -- that you might be tempted to cheat? ... I know this is a bad thought & question - but temptation is put in our lives - and it is usually put in the weakest part of our lives. Would he be willng to seek sexual advice from some other source?

Next .. you should do LOTS of research on this. Research may give you answers .. and questions.

Only you, know the extent which this bothers you .. and what you can accept. And .. you must be careful not to offend him with this -- it could destroy his self worth, and his dignity as a man.

Since you are a Christian ... pray, pray,pray .. for God to guide you, and give you the answers you need. God answers prayers. Prayers changes things.

Just do a lot of thinking, praying, and research. Do it daily. Fill your mind with information. Then .. after you have done this ... stop it all for a week or so .. don't allow yourself to even think on it ... then after a week or so - go back and revisit all the things which you have learned & thought about. It is usually during this time, you will know your answer of what to do.

CONGRATULATIONS !!! .. on your new marriage. I truly wish the very best for both of you.

God bless you both.

Answer 4

That sort of answers the question of why he wanted to wait until marriage - no male usually waits unless there is a good reason. However, that being the case, you have to remember that very few women experience pleasure by actual insertion. Its usually all the other stuff that brings on the business! Encourage a great deal of fun in anyway you can. The smaller penis is very good in postions where a large one could hurt e.g. doggie and you on top completely straight. Its also far easier to give oral pleasure to a small one! We are basically trained to like a big one but actually you should just be happy to see it standing to attention as that means he is getting all the right feelings and you are providing them! Have a go at enjoying and think less of the size!

Answer 5

I honestly don't think you ready for marriage just by asking this question alone. It sounds like if you did believe in divorce you would divorce him just because he wasn't well endowed. I mean you been together what about 10 years from what I gather? I honestly wouldn't worry so much about penetration because anyone will tell you the longer you been married the longer you can go without it. I know down the line when my looks begin to fade and I am not longer at my prime my husband will love me because of my mind not what I have to offer him between my legs, or on my chest or how much junk I have in my truck. I hope you can say the same (I hope he could say the same thing about you feeling that way about him but I highly doubt it because seem it's a big deal what he has to offer you between his legs).

I say buy a toy for your own pleasure, ask him to use toys on you or ask him to use his fingers and tongue. I also might I suggest he get a tongue ring it feels really good during a reverse hurricane.

Answer 6

You're both still complete novices at sex, so don't give up yet. Experiment with each other and find things that work for each of you. I'm sure if you're patient with him you can find something that gets the job done. You can get him to give you oral sex or hand jobs, just make sure you give him feedback on what you like so he knows what to repeat.

Answer 7

Great going Confused. This person is a PHONY, checkout the js2-26 profile questions. Sometimes a male or a female - gets erection when sneezing; has a huge penis; am I pretty, etc.

Answer 8

Looks like you're going to have to find other ways of satisfying you. There are other positions you can try other than missionary (male on top). There are also other things you can do prior to having actual sex. I wish you luck in your marriage.

Answer 9

Be honest with him so that he can try other things to make you happy. How do you expect him to correct the problem if he doesn't know there is one???

Come on now, size does not matter and you have to consider the fact that he is inexperienced so basically you "both" have to teach one another how to please each other.

Answer 10

Oh,oh honey, unless your husband can make his penis magically grow (I'm not trying to be funny) You just might have to find a way to work with him since you don't believe in divorce...good luck!