Please help me! Should I be her friend?

Question

Let me show you what's been going on.
Friday 28, 2007

I call her. Here is the conversation:
Me: "Hey"
Her" Look, I can't talk right now"
Me" Why?"
Her" 'Cause my friends are over"
Me: "Oh....Can you at least talk for a while?"
Her" No...Look....-------and-------are over. I'll call you tomorrow"
Me" Ok...." (SAD)

Saturday 29, 2007

She hasn't called me. So I called her around 2:15.
Here's the conversation:
Me "Hello?"
Her mom "Hey -------"
Me" Is ----- home?"
Her mom "No..."
Me" Can you tell her to call me"
Her mom " Sure!"
Me" Bye" (SAD)
_______________________________________________
So she always is either 'busy' or at her friend's place (or her friends are over.) Should I be her friend.

P.S. I got another friend but she rarely talks to me. She is my friend. I smile at her in school and she smiles back.

Please help me. I sent her an e-mail about if she is my friend or not.
QUESTIONS:
-Should I be her friend?
-(e-mail) Did I make the right idea?

Also....she and I have been friends for a long time,and went on many adventures...been through a lot. But if I must let go....

Please? None of this helps me. I've tried to call her again. She picked up and we talked but she doesn't seem to realize.
I wonder if she read that e-mail. P.S. Here's what it said.

We've been friend for a long time. But whenever I all you...you're either at you're friend's house or not home. Yesterday..you said you'd call me today. Did you? NO!!!!!
Are you my friend? You haven't been acting like one...:-(

Also....She had her birthday party yesterday. I got her the best gift. The one she always wanted. Payed for it with my own money. She drove me home in a van with her 'friends'. I had to sit in the front. (I'm older than her.) She and her friends sat together . Like...maybe I"m jealous. But she doesn't spend time with me anymore. Maybe we grew apart?

P.S. This summer...while we were at the pool...her friends mysteriously were there too. She stopped swimming wit hme and went to them.

Also when my friends are over she calls me and I talk to her. I got three friends: her, Sarah, and Bethany. (Sarah is my BFF now.) (Bethany isn't my best friend. I used to hate her last year But I became her freind. )
Anyway..so I talk to her but she treats me differently when her friends are over.

Answer 1

go to her house unexpectedly (make sure she's home first. it might help) and talk to her one on one. tell her u were in the neighborhood and wanted to chat. if she still doesn't want to talk or doesn't get what u mean then maybe u guys have grown apart and maybe u need to go and be more outgoing and find more friends. things like this happen u just need to know how to deal with them. u can contact me by email anytime.

Answer 2

The thing about relationships (all relationships) is that you have to meet them half way on the effort or it doesn't work out. You're obviously putting more than ninety percent of the effort forward, and she's putting very little.
If she were a real friend, she'd call you back.
I know this because I was friends for a while with a girl i really liked-- most of the time. However, I always arranged the get-to-gethers. I always put forth the effort. We did become pretty close, but she still never seemed to put me before the other aspects of her life. She never bothered to act like she was having a great time with me, even if she was. Guess what? The relationship didn't work out.
You gotta find somebody who's as excited to be with you as you are wth them. You have to be agressive when you're amking friends, but once it seems ike you two are solidly friends, she should be making as much time for you as you are for her. If she isn't, well, you're just going to end up hurt.

Answer 3

First, you should have respected her the first time and said okay, call me later. You should never ask why. My boyfriend will say Can I call you back as soon as he answers sometimes, and I say yes. He is busy for some reason. I don't question it. If someone asked me why, I would think, boy are they nosey as it is non of their business and I would hesitate to call them back. I would think they have no real self confidence and are lonely.

You should have more self confidence. You seem to be trying too hard to gain friends. There are different types of friends. Some are close friends and some are How are you doing type of friends.

Don't try so hard. You can smile and be polite to some people and never become close friends. I respect my best friend even though she and I have totally different ideas and she is very set in her ways. She will only go to certain places to eat, she will only see a movie if she has the desire, not the rest of her friends. I wish she was more open, but I respect that is her and I don't take offense to her not trying to like the same things I like.

Answer 4

It's not really polite to talk to somebody on the phone while you have company, they will feel ignored and as if the host is denying their presence. As for this other girl- if you never talk but smile, that's not really friends. A friend is somebody you spend most of your time with and talk to whenever you get the chance. She's just an aquaintance. You did the right thing, sending her an e-mail, to get the sitution resolved. If she continues to ignore you, it's not a concicedence. I believe it's time to get to know this other girl better. A true friend should try to go out their way to talk to you, as you do the same. You should never be the one having to always call them. Though, it does sound like you're a bit clingy. She probably needs a break.

Answer 5

You know...when you called her to talk and she told you she had friends over that should have been your cue to say "Oh OK I'll talk to you later" rather than sounding all sad and depressed and practically begging her for her attention. Why would she want to be friends with someone who is so needy? She obviously has friends already and if she really wanted you to be her friend then when you called she would have said "Hey I have some friends over, can you come over too?" If she wanted to be your friend she would have called you back.
So you should get the hint, I don't think she wants you to be friends with her, but she may not be able to come out and tell you in an email, she might just say something like "sure we can be friends" but never have any intention to hang out or talk to you.

Answer 6

why r u soo concerned with these two im sure u can find sum other ones that r soo much better. and dont get so disapointed sum ppl r always pretty busy, but if shes not showing interest back and is more concerned with the other friends maybe shes not worth it.
it also may be if these other friends are her close or best friends shes all abt them so just try to become closer friends with them and see if maybe all of you guys can hang out.

Answer 7

Your friend may have a lot on her plate right now. sometimes its best to wait it out, just wait for her to call and ask what has been going on, maybe its something you can help with. Her not calling probably has little to do with her not wanting to talk to u and more to do with her having problems or helping someone else with there's.

With the love of Christ,
Jay

Answer 8

That does not sound like a very good friend, but if you guys are not getting along so well, give it time. She will get over it. So, just give her another chance, that's the best thing you can do, and talk to her!

Answer 9

It sort of seems like she wants to branch out and make more friends. I think that you should talk to her honestly in person about your friendship..if your talk with her doesn't work, then try to forget the friendship and see if there are other people that could be your friend. Good Luck! :)

Answer 10

you can still be her friend but you don't have to be a close friend. Give her some space. If she doesn't call you on her own. Oh well, move on to the next friend.