The brush of wind on across my face, my parents shouting who knows what in Spanish, the goal was approaching. I was ahead of everybody and at the age of 7 I felt on top of the world. Two more steps and I kicked the ball into the miniature yellow goal. “Gooaaaaaallll!" ..............(i dont know what else to write)
I'm trying to make an attention grabbing introduction for my personal statement for college app, can somebody help me? Or incorporate other words or sentences to make it better or even longer?
2007-12-29 06:48:08 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
Its an excellent paragraph now. I just dont' think you need the word "on" as the fifth word. Drop that "on".
After Goal..... write something like "That kind of excitement keeps me focused on improving my soccer skills and seeking contant improvement in all areas of my life.
2007-12-29 06:59:02 · answer #1 · answered by hottotrot1_usa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I run across the field, the wind brushes my face and the roar of the crowd shouts in excitement, I feel ready and kick the ball. I hear my parents shouting Goal!; I had scored. I was seven years old and I felt like I could do anything I desired.
2007-12-29 07:05:18 · answer #2 · answered by Trinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋