Someone told me that a kid is the best gift but I much rather have a bank account of money to know that I am secure and my happiness back along with freedom. Kids cause me too worry to much about finances their well being and everything else that it takes to live. I had a stress test done and I rated in the 500 range ready to have a heart attack.
2007-12-29 05:17:13 · 10 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Girl, we appear to be going through the same thing. However, they are my nephews and I adopted them years ago. I've had them for over 7 years now.
I don't rather have a bank account, but heck, I do wish back my happiness and freedom. And most of all, peace.
I swear at times, I feel as though I'm raising Tasmanian-devils. ;-)
Let it be known, I am far from being selfish. I love them and I want to do my best to raise them to become productive young men. It just get tough sometimes and I wonder if I'm doing justice in raising them.
And I bet if I took that stress test mine would range where yours is, if not off the charts.
Be blessed and know that you are not alone.
2007-12-29 05:34:53 · answer #1 · answered by Decent 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is all mind stuff. This will sound cliché for sure, but you should look up relaxation techniques and ways to balance your mind. A lot of us worry about things we cannot control, it's actually pretty normal. It takes practice, but a little time out each day to breathe and focus will help.
Some things we can fix and influence, then some things in life are just beyond our control. We have to learn to practice faith in knowing that things we can't control, will be, and end up, as they are supposed to.
At night when the kids are in bed, read some fiction, take baths... just create a few rituals to help you refocus and relax a bit. These tactics sound simple, but that is the point! Simplicity is good, and needed.Take charge of what you can change. The only thing you can REALLY change is you and your own perception. There are a ton of sites dedicated to stress relief, I'll just name one:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm
I do hope you begin to feel better soon. Just take it a day at a time.
2007-12-29 13:33:58 · answer #2 · answered by ☆ Spharoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong to feel that way. Being a mother isn't your problem. Being an overwhelmed, overworked mother is.
You complained of having no freedom. Hiring a babysitter (or enlisting the help of a relative) so you can have some regularly scheduled "me-time" can reduce your stress.
And where is your children's father in all this? Tell him how you feel and make it clear to him that he has to do more childcare so you can rest.
Other Things You Can Do To Feel Better:
*Join a gym, take a yoga class, or learn to meditate. You may not be able to eliminate the causes of your stress but you can learn a better response to stress.
*Join a support group for mothers. It will give you needed social support and a place to vent.
*If you can afford it, take a vacation without your children.
*If your children are old enough, have them do more for themselves. I have seen more than a few mothers burn themselves out because they did "too much" for the kids.
*You mentioned financial woes. Consult with a financial adviser and see what you can do to increase your income.
God bless!
2007-12-29 13:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let me start by asking the $64,000 question: "Why, on earth, did you decide to have babies if it's only inconveniencing you?" Why didn't you STOP having kids after the first one was born? They never asked to be born, and being they had "no say" in YOUR decision making, it's only fair to answer you with this tidbit: You don't deserve to have the children you were blessed with! Kids cost money, take up your time, make you worry. It doesn't stop once they are grown & gone, either.I raised 2 beautiful daughters, almost singlehanded, after their Dad divorced me. I sure didn't have any extra money in the bank, worked my butt off to support them (got a small amount of child support, every week) besides worrying about house payments, car payments, food and stuff that ALL little ones want & need....and never once regretted bringing them into this world. When I felt the need to "get out for a while" I hired a sitter and got away for a few hours. I can't think of any woman, who's a Mom, that doesn't get the blues, misses "running with friends" and just having time for yourself....but.....you should have taken that into consideration before you decided to give birth!! You're blaming those kids for all your ills in life. How cruel. Maybe, you should have their father raise them, being you want your freedom & happiness back. The day will come, when those children will stand before you, asking "Why didn't you want us?" You think they don't "pick-up" on your attitude towards them? You sound very immature and extremely selfcentered. Grow up.....
2007-12-29 13:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with you. You are just stressed. Being a mom is hard work and the hours... don't get me started. All parents, whether we admit it or not, go through a phase when we wish we had not become parents. It's not easy taking responsibility for another person and how they turn out. Last night I heard the best advice I've heard in years for parents: We are really good parents for only a few seconds, and we are bad parents for only a few seconds. - Katt Williams, or something like that. The point being you can't please everyone all the time.
2007-12-29 13:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the club, but that's the job. But just to give you some perspective, if it could be granted that you would have a bank account with the sum of, say, $250,000.00 per child by next Wednesday how soon could you arrange to drop them off (travel expenses paid, of course)?
Your first reaction was probably horror...forgive my feeble attempt to illustrate a point; I meant to shock you but not offend you. The thing is, you're already in it up to your neck; you're a parent, and that worry never goes away....it just occasionally changes form. Be that as it may, you wouldn't trade that for anything (if you were the kind of person who could, you wouldn't BE worried about them). You're doing a very hard, sometimes thankless job, and you're doing it well. Happy New Year to all of you.
2007-12-29 13:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mom you are not alone in this world. I think we all feel like this at some point while mothering. I miss freedom, I miss money I especially miss my husband and being alone with him. I love my kids so much and they are a gift but I feel just like you do at times. They grow up so fast and one day I will have freedom, maybe more money, and lots of time with hubby. Make time for yourself, set aside money for you to pamper yourself with. My kids are ripped that hubby and I are going on vacation this year for a week alone and not taking them. They are being split up and going to grandparents and other families houses. It took way to long for us to realize that we are not just parents and it is not selfish to think about ourselves on occasion.
2007-12-29 13:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by now_finally 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it a little late to be so selfish? You should have thought more about having children as well as the responsibilities that come along with them. I am saddened for your children that you consider them a burden on your life.
2007-12-29 13:22:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I really hope you work things out and it starts to get better for you.
2007-12-29 13:25:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
they're precious, and a treasure.
2007-12-29 13:21:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋