Is there a difference between thought, feeling and behavior? Are thoughts and feelings by themselves harmless

Question

The obvious answer to both of these questions is "Yes." And yet, one would not know it from the answers to some questions posted on Y!A. Take this recent Q&A, for instance:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtvWFytgfltgBDmiLt9Y8s7ty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071226102153AAidZQW&show=7#profile-info-lC3MWfnvaa

Now, this is the question I would like answered:

Why it is that people seem incapable of making the distinction between thought, feeling and behavior?

Oh...one more thing. To be selected as "Best Answer," your response must meet ALL of the following specifications. It must: 1) be cogent and probative, or at least intelligible; 2) be written in complete, grammatically correct English sentences (no abbreviated words, e.g., u, ur, imho, bcuz, etc.); 3) be a direct response to the question I asked; and 4) cite sources you have paraphrased or restated, if applicable.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

Ice...Thank you for a clever response. I am sorry if you were irritated by my "arrogance." You are right...I should have said "many people" instead of implying all, which I did not intend.

My point, I guess, is that almost no one of ANY intellectual capability would, if asked, seriously argue that these three things -- feelings, thoughts and behaviors -- are the same.

And yet, they react as if they ARE the same when it comes to "thinking" about subjects that are considered taboo, or are uncomfortable, or that stir strong reactions.

Why this is so just puzzles me, that's all.

NBM -- Thank you so much for responding! While I understand your disagreement with my premise as you articulated it, I would challenge your interpretation of that premise.

What I am saying is that I consider the FEELING of being attracted to one's mother sexually as just that...a feeling, neither OK, nor NOT OK.

The feeling this young man is experiencing is what it is. It arises from within him in a way that he has no control over. Accordingly, I recognize it without judgment, because that, I believe, is the nature of what we FEEL. That was my point.

The feeling takes on a potentially harmful or inappropriate dimension when it is acted upon (i.e., when it is transformed into behavior). We will leave to exploration in another question the roots of the moral dilemma presented by the question of incest.

I thank you, NBM, for honoring me and the question I have posed with a very well focused and articulate argument. I am grateful to you.

Betsy: Thank you for a rich and multi-dimensional response.

I struggle with these question regularly: Who am I? Am I what I feel? What I believe? What I think? How I behave? All of these things?

I have just finished reading Ayya Khema's "Who is My Self?" in which she (a Buddhist nun who died in 1997) poses these very same questions in an effort to guide the reader to the practice of meaningful meditation. It is a wonderful book, clear and simple in its expression, yet profound in its content.

I am indeed very much interested in this subject, in understanding how we human beings understand ourselves, what we do and why.

There are any number of ways we come up with to explain our behaviors, but they all emanate from how we understand the "self," from the origins of mind (the sixth sense in Buddhism), perception, belief, experience, thought, feeling, behavior.

The exploration of these ideas is endless. Thank you for your contribution to the search.

Answer 1

Good question, JMH...

I too, fear that many people are incapable of distinguishing between thought, feeling and behaviour... I have been shocked at the reactions shown (by a minority of people) to questions of quite 'delicate natures'. This, in itself, I find worrying. I would like to think that it is largely due to immaturity of the "answerer" but I'm not sure that this is always the case. I feel that people lack the comprehension that thoughts and feelings are "normal" (whatever they may consist of) and largely out of our control. There is no such thing as a "wrong" feeling....My saying is: A feeling is exactly what it says on the tin - A feeling!!

I would be the first person to admit that I have thoughts and feelings that I wish I didn't... many uncomfortable thoughts have passed through my mind over the years. Show me someone that only has positive, controlled thoughts and feelings.... Impossible? I would think so anyway!
What is important is how we react (or not react) to these thoughts and feelings... as this is what distinguishes us.

I was really interested to read this question and I hope you don't mind me making a further comment in public.....

You always answer questions so well, I'm very impressed.... not necessarily with your obvious intelligence, but more so with your thought, understanding and a seemingly complete awareness of "how people tick".

I hope that you do not find my comments condescending. I, unlike icewitch, did not feel this question in anyway made you appear arrogant, but on the contrary, I feel that you asked this question because you are incredibly compassionate and therefore frustrated at the reactions of some.

Thanks again for making me think...

...Nicky...

Answer 2

Very, very, few people in this world today truly know why they behave the way they do. We can more easily detect irrational behavior in other people - as per your example. Yet, I ask you, can you see it in yourself?

If one is behaving within the normal accepted ways of society, acting intelligently for example, then one is also pretending to be a certain way, it's just less extreme and less obvious than the other person in the quoted Y!A.

NBM, gives a very precise answer to your question (above), and they know the answer because they've done the personal work, to become the observer of their own thoughts and feelings and behavior.

To their answer I would add it's because there is this little talking voice inside our heads that we listen to, believing that what we think or how we interpret our happenings is reality. This is what is otherwise known as 'identification' with oneself, or with one's self-image or with the 'me'. So then out of the repetitive thinking that goes on (the interpretor telling one's story over and over), one makes a decision or conclusion, this decision then travels down the motor neurons into the body, this gets reflects in the muscles as feelings or emotions preparing the body for movement or action, then the behavior happens according to what was thought. So you can see, the thinking is the root. As long as one believes in their own story, then this is what their behavior on the outside becomes. People then are pretending and all people are individual and thus all have their own 'favorite' story.

If this was part of your history, if you could be the observer of such and see it in yourself, then also wouldn't it be the case that you would know the answer to the question you ask? I don't say this to put you down, but rather to urge you to look deeper within for your answer.

I answer the question this way for you, because you do seem to want to get to the truth in regards to this matter. It is a good question, and the way to get the answer * in truth * is to see it in yourself as it happens. Practising meditation is a way to become better at being able to observe your own thoughts & feelings & actions. The more you practise like this, the more you will discover about 'being human' and 'being conditioned', and the more you will understand other people, because you understand yourself.

Betsy

Answer 3

Quantum Chemistry a little studied science, the congnisant mind, whereby a person has power of self will. Being focussed and having complete control of one driving force is the aim of life or many. Thought behaviour feelings are triggered by chemical reaction sin th ebrain. A word, a ong, a sighting can literally trigger a response, eg, a particular song, associated with a potent and sad memory and friend will bring a tear to ones eye, remind you of that person, and all the latent emotions attached to their memory.

He who understands this can stop this cycle at the outset unless he has a desire to wallow in pathos. To choose and determine and define out thought feelings and behaviour is the goal.

Be Self Governed.

Answer 4

I think you should qualify your question as I do not believe that all people seem incapable of making the distinction between thought, feeling and behavior, although clearly many do.
Maybe they are not sufficiently intelligent or cognitive to make such definitions.
I thought about your question, I felt both irritated by my perception of your arrogance and my perception of your assumptions. My initial feeling was to be annoyed by both. However, my behaviour was to think again about your question and realise that I was, as most people do, re-acting to the situation. However, had I not thought about it I would have reacted more harshly, with a knee jerk response, rather than with a more carefully thought out response.
Even if it does not meet your requirements :-)

Answer 5

regrettably, maximum individuals don't comprehend that, functionally, there is not any distinction. the person-friendly term, emotion, frequently is seen as something distinctive from the technical term, impact. Even experts, which includes Ekman and Tompkins have made pointless differences, complicating the image. Emotion, or impact, is a individual's lively (non-verbal) reaction ( or "examining") of the interplay with their surroundings. Emotion provides us guidance approximately, and the flexibility to accomplish actual initiatives, perfect to the circumstances (which includes survival). on the grounds that's non-verbal, that's seen to be decrease than the edge of unsleeping know-how, for this reason the be conscious "subconscious" used for this journey/feeling. Tompkins did have one situation maximum suitable: impact is time-honored. with the aid of fact it develops till now unsleeping, verbal-based cognition, it has a much better effect over habit than thinking. maximum politicians and merchandising experts can attest to this. besides the shown fact that, this lively enter isn't a command, that's purely a potential. with the aid of fact physique impacts techniques and techniques impacts physique, we can re-light techniques which could keep in mind emotional responses. The beginning place is from environmental interactions, no longer from thinking. yet we can call up specific emotions without interplay interior the 2nd. We in simple terms draw on journey. even with the actuality that oversimplified, W.B. Cannon grew to become into perfect.

Answer 6

I disagree with your first premise that thoughts and feelings by themselves are harmless just because we may not ACT on them. I presume your example supports the notion that having a crush on your mother is OK if you don't act on it?

Our patterns of thought, emotional reactions AND behavior have origins in early experience which conditions our beliefs about self and the world. The effects of these learned beliefs are not ameliorated by their lack of validity. They cause effects in reality whether they are true or not.

People are incapable of making the distinction because they identify with the feelings (embedded electro-chemical reactions to threat) and thoughts that are familiar to them, RATHER than observing them, contemplating their origins and reframing the beliefs that cause them to repeat as defensive patterns.

Answer 7

Okay, so as far as there being a difference between thoughts, feelings, and behavior...Thoughts are obviously things you think, you create...feelings are things that follow these thoughts...and behavior is what usually follows these thoughts and feelings. It's kind of all in the same process. As far as thoughts and feelings being harmless? They definitely are not. Have you ever heard of people making themselves sick emotionally? That's the kind of harm that can follow from thoughts. They are damaging if you use your brain the wrong way.

Answer 8

Well, my friend, thought, feeling and behaviour are like a chain, one following the other.
Thoughts can come easily in our mind without many times being able to control them since they are the result of various situations, like what we see, hear and any of our envirement we live in, like at work, with friends, home and occassions.
Now it has to be our will if we accept that thought that comes to our mind. Surely it can't be that we accept all of these since many of them we don't just imagine that we have them.
So thought by itself has no power. But if we accept any thought it could effect our feelings. If you, for instance, keep a
thought in your mind to dwell there you keep on thinking of it.
If we accept any thought it surely then have an effect on our feeling, since feeling is the result of accepted thought. You have to think first and then comes the feeling to put that practice that thought. Up to now you can still change and stop
the feeling and thought and put it away. However if you than accept the thought and the feeling it rises in yourself , then follows your behaviour to put to practice that feeling. Here you
are now responsable for what you do. You behave according to what you feel and want to do.
Example: it comes to your mind a thought of stealing, if you accept that thought you will be feeling in yourself how it is going to be. The result is that you plan and do the stealing. You can equal this to any other thing that comes to your mind..
I hope that I have been of help to you. Whatever it is keep in mind that you are in control of all these, otherwise it won't be normal.