Every now and again, my husband and I are finding ourselves with having to lend money or are failing our kids out, despite us now being retired, and the kids are well in their 2Os, or is this the norm. these days. Is it the way we have brought them up, have we spoilt them literally???
We do get very frustrated about the whole situation of late, but worry about the grand children, if it were not for them, we would pull the plug - thats for sure. Emotional blackmail, is this what its all about?
I would say they were in dept to us, up to 6 thousand pounds.
But having spoken to several other parents, their debts are up in the 3O thousand pounds mark!?!?!?
2007-12-29 03:28:14 · 29 answers · asked by SUPER-GLITCH 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
No, not anymore. I am divorced, live alone and somewhat monetary challenged. Still work FT but even if I didn't my kids are just not 'into asking'...they take care of their own needs [and help each other out]. My youngest daughter was the last to purchase a home and her brother gave her the down payment :-)
In fact, much to my chagrin, it has been my kids who now help me out. I am blessed, and I realize that for I have married friends who are paying through the gazoo with children's divorces, mortgages, you name it.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this, but maybe it's time to shut the money door? Not a slam, just a suggestion :-) Think about it...if you were gone tomorrow, what would they do? Guess! They'd handle it themselves! SO glad that in most cases my own parents said NO.
2007-12-29 12:19:54 · answer #1 · answered by sage seeker 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My kid's keep re-producing. I have 8 grandchildren, and that is only from 2 of my 3 kid's, one hasn't even started yet. Still, they are lovely, even if they are a little expensive, especially this time of year.
As for bailing the kids out, we still do occasionally, especially our only son, but he is getting more responsible for his own family lately. Well he is 33 years old. If I had back all the money he has "borrowed" over the years, we would probably be millionaires, but our kid's are our kid's, and it's only natural we will help them out if they need it.
It will probably all come back on them when their own children grow up, and THEY are the one's lending money to THEIR kids.
2007-12-29 13:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by 'Er indoors!! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We wanted 10 kids we only have one, We took her on for life we don't have much but, I don't want to see her struggle like we always had to, We love giving her , her allowance She is only 25 l.o.l. I know a lot of people that wont give their kids a dime and I really resent those type, Some of them didn't do much for their kids when they were younger either, and then they wonder why their kids turned out the way they did
2007-12-29 07:37:43 · answer #3 · answered by Jan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get me started on this one....Lol!!
This generation seem to think that we are here as a bank, and can "magic" money from no-where!!
We have no money to lend, but for some reason we never will have any, and it's because we have to "keep" our children when they are old enough to look after themselves.
Mine eat me out of house and home....use all the electric, gas, water etc, all the hidden bills that they don't see or even want to understand.
AND then they have the cheek to complain about having to 'help' out by paying us their money towards their keep!!
I think it's just how this generation have been brought up, in my day we put up with and were happy and very grateful for 2nd hand furniture etc when we first started up a home, and gradually replaced it all. But nowdays they have to have "new" stuff....no wonder they are in debt, and needing our help to lend them money. We still have to make do!!!!!!!! They don't!!!!!!!! Very, very wrong!! xXx
2007-12-29 03:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by dot_on_the_horizon 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My sons are 49 and 51 respectively and they still get help from us financially, I wouldn't like to add it up as it would only frighten me. I never lend them money I always make it an outright gift as I know I will never get it back and so I don't fret over their debts to me.
PS When I got married my Father never gave me a penny then or afterwards,he just said "if it doesn't work out don't come home here crying your eyes out".52 years later we are still going strong.
2007-12-29 04:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I SEE MORE OF MY KIDS TODAY RETIRED THEN I DID WHEN THY WERE AT HOME AND I WAS WORKING DOUBLES.
SO I ENJOY HELPING THEM. ONE DAUGHTER HAS 5 CHILDREN AND HUSBAND IS A CONTRACTOR. HE MAY BUILD A HOUSE AND THEN NOT BUILD ONE FOR 2 MONTHS. THIS IS WHY I WAS NOT AN INDIPENDANT AND WORKED FOR THE GOVERNMENT. ALWAYS KNEW A CHECK WAS IN THE MAIL. MAY NOT BE RICH BUT SURE AS HECK AM NOT POOR. HELP HER OUT EVEN IF IT MEANS I GO WITHOUT. THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT I THOUGHT?
CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME WITH FAMILY. I AM THE RED CROSS, SALVATION ARMY, HUMANA ON WHEELS ETC.?
2007-12-29 03:38:11 · answer #6 · answered by ahsoasho2u2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say your children are in debt to you ?.I have 7 children and they have all needed help at some time I dont think of them as being in debt to me.I like to be able to help them when I can,sometimes i cant,but when we had them we knew that we were entering into a never ending contract to support them in what ever way we could.Its called being a Parent so count your blessings and not the money.
2007-12-29 04:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by OAP 67 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
By the looks of things there must be a lot of us out there, I keep saying this is the last time, but it never is, if i had gone back to my father all those years ago he would have said "you,ve made your bed, now lay in it" Guess its the way of life now.
2007-12-29 03:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by casper 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have three children 37 35 33 yrs they all have good jobs homes etc , and they have never asked for a penny , the only thing we give them is dinner and tea and all they want is our company , and i know they will always come home, but of course if they did ask for a loan they could have one.
2007-12-30 02:38:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My dad told me....once a parent, always a parent....the idea of 18 and it's all done wasn't true. They are "family" and everyone needs help from time to time. Right now....people being totally responsible aren't always prepared for what life throws their way. Help if you can....don't if you can't. It's legally not your duty.....sometimes kids need to learn about other options to help with their issues....parents are usually the first and easiest option.....help them discover the other ways.....before you put yourself in jeopardy. For their sake as well as yours.
2007-12-29 04:33:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋