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As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called ......... "Ministers Do More Than Lay People"

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8.. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9 My next house will have no kitchen - just Vending machine

2007-12-29 03:15:56 · 24 answers · asked by Dan Bueno 4 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Senior Citizens

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way

2007-12-29 03:17:17 · update #1

24 answers

Very cute Dan. Like the old saying goes, if you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

2007-12-29 03:35:53 · answer #1 · answered by Gladys 6 · 6 0

11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

I always heard God made labor so bad to keep you from killing them when they were teenagers. LOL

Oh yes.....riding the bannister of life for sure. Backwards splinters and all. Expecting a severe nose burn from the rug on my way out.

2007-12-29 14:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Yes I have, and there have been a few splinters along the way. Kind of funny, but my husband did take out the trash yesterday, and he was so proud of himself. Chuckles and a star!!

2007-12-29 16:05:34 · answer #3 · answered by noonecanne 7 · 1 0

This was brilliant Dan!!! just what the doctor ordered!!..

The Banister likes to trick me.....long nice smooth bits...then wham! a blo*dy great big one greets me unaware....the wrong way round...lol

2007-12-29 15:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ HOPE ♥ 4 · 2 0

I am still sliding down the bannister of life. And so far the only splinters have been really, really small. that was great Dan.

2007-12-29 11:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 3 1

I think the people who cannot think are driving splinters into me right now, but this was good and I gave you and them a thumbs up and a star. Can't fault anyone for their opinion, but the sure seem to fault me. I guess when they were told the ultimate judge would be God, they decided God was wrong and decided to judge me, wrongly I think, but thanks for the kind words too!

2007-12-29 14:13:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

We slid down the bannister of life right into a black hole.

We are both disabled.

We need $$$.

2007-12-29 12:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by LandOfMisty 5 · 0 0

This is great you made my day! Have a great 2008 and never lose your wonderful since of humor.

2007-12-29 14:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 2 0

yep hubby followed me down and got a nasty shock at the bottom, we have a big acorn on the bottom of ours ouchhhhhhh!

2007-12-30 14:37:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

My grand children are wonderful I wish Id had them first

2007-12-29 11:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5 0

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