*****
We march along in echelons no longer photographable
From rank and file to the jumbled mass
In just a few short years
Did Atta and his cut-throats succeed?
*****
2007-12-29 01:11:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I recognize bits of it as poetry. The first line is nearly perfect iambic octameter.
2007-12-29 01:33:50 · update #1
The jury's still out. I do so hope the answer is no. I am getting so weary of this game.
Edit: In addition, how quick people forget the details. Before you know it, events become a blur.
Good poem TD.
2007-12-29 06:25:16 · answer #1 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you are talking about the military..(echelons) no longer able to picture them (photographable)
Did Atta or the enemy succeed?
Just need some more lines to make it complete or were you just thinking of giving up as in the enemy succeeding.???
2007-12-29 01:49:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the point of "I ride the cars that others ride" or thereabouts, the poem shifts and becomes self-observing. It's like being absorbed in a book or play or film, and suddenly someone or something pulls your attention away from being involved. An idea - copy the poem to that point, then read from the beginning and write on from that point. Or. - skip from the end of the paragraph that begins "I wander aimlessly around the house..,." to the one that begins "I travel to worlds of my own ..."making..." That one stanza needs work. How to do it? Read your poem aloud. If the beats are off, it "will not scan" - the timing will be off, will break your mood, the spell of the story you are weaving. That should do it. Omit those four stanzas and rework the one after by reading it aloud. Also, read good poems by others - aloud - to train your "ear." I like the poetry of William Carlos Williams and believe you might, too. The cat and the jam clost or the newspaper might be good places to start with Williams' "Collected Poems."
2016-05-27 17:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this poem is about our soldiers marching in a line of formation and that we cannot photograph them because they now are resting at peace. These soldiers marched to the jumbled mass where they gave their precious lives. And your last line is yet to be seen and I pray to God that all of this is not in vain.....God Bless our Soldiers
2007-12-29 01:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by dizzeeone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Atta and his cut-throats succeeded in blowing their arses into what passes for hell in Islam.
Fecking Atta did manage to cost this country billions of dollars and thousands of lives. This is why I fear a nuclear Muslim nation. All it takes is one serious psycho to touch off the powder keg. We have our share of serious psychos in the U.S., but there is no defense to "The devil made me do it", or worse, "God told me to."
2007-12-29 07:18:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
march long ago marathons atop photographable echelons
hearts tangled rank defiled and new-fangled
Like testacles time-pieces dangled
cut-throats in throwbacks from neck to thorax
Disciplined disciples decide, live or die
misinformation, dissing every station
in this fakin, hatin, fiendin' nation
pacemaker anticipation participation
with my enemies' scriptures kindly closing
real know thier kind, i'm supposing
"I don't know" I state in my closing
2007-12-29 01:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it. Seems to be all of us in the world at large.
Who is Atta?
2007-12-29 01:35:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rhythm of the first verse is haunting me; I can't think of the poem. Now, I'll have wordless rhythm in my head all day!!
2007-12-29 02:40:47 · answer #8 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW Did u write this ? It's so good and so cool. It has deep meanings inside it.
2007-12-29 01:27:53 · answer #9 · answered by Antara 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not quite short enough. I don't recognise that as poetry.
2007-12-29 01:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by coffee 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋