im really upset?

Question

ive a close friend who has been quite depressed over the last year and ive spent alot of hrs listening an comforting them, luckily they seem much better now.but recently ive been down because of a run of bad luck and quite a serious personal problem this has all built up intill ive actually become ill. yesterday my friend told me that i make her feel depressed and is actually fedup of worrying about me and doesnt want to be around me whilst im so miserable. im devistated i feel kicked in the teeth after the amount of support ive given her, ive been up all night its so hurt me.i have already said im sorry she feels like that an ill stay away, she just said no i still want to be friends but to think about what she has said as shes happy to talk to me as long as it dont involve any of my problems

Answer 1

How rude?! You spent a lot of time supporting her and comforting her, and in general being a good friend and being there for her but when the tables are turned, she doesn't want anything to do with it?

Your friend seems pretty self involved and selfish. I would talk to another one of your friends regarding your problems just now, if you don't feel you can, you should approach your parents. They will be more than happy to give you the support and comfort you need right now.

Hope you get it all sorted.

Answer 2

You probably won't like my answer, but this is based on my own personal experience. I had a 'friend' like that once, who was also the deputy head at the school where i worked. She was going through a rough time, and I was there for her through every second of it. I listened to her moan, I listened to her howl, I took her to hospitals when she said she needed to go (they never found a thing wrong with her) and sat there all night, then went straight into work while she slept.
But she was never once there when I needed her - in fact, she didn't even bother to ring me when she knew my grandmother had died.
Eventually, she turned against me completely and I had to leave my job because she bullied me out.

Since then she has tried to call me a couple of times, I spoke to her once and she said that she had no friends left and needed me. I told her where to go.

People like this are not friends. This was a highly traumatic time in my life, but I have learned a huge amount from it. I now know how to spot a real friend, and how to spot someone who is going to suck you dry and then drop you when you have nothing left to give. Sorry, but your friend sounds a lot like this woman that I was once friends with.
You've done all you can, now walk away if she can't be there for you. Hope it works out.

Answer 3

Seems this friend thinks the world revolves around her. Unfortunate. And flat out telling you that YOU make HER feel depressed when it's obvious you are only reaching out to her for her support in your time of pain?! What is up with that?
And after the fact you spent YOUR time and YOUR energy when she was in a time of need. The difference is it was HER need. I don't understand why ppl are like that. Don't apologize to her, you don't need to. She should be the one apologizing to you for her lack of sensibility and compassion.

The kicker is, you seem like the type of person who would take her under your wing again if she needed you. Am I right?

Answer 4

I hope you are feeling better. I agree that a person can not be a friend unless he/she isn't there in time of need. You are right about the feelings you have. I must say that you should stop seeing this friend of yours. If you can, discuss your problems with your parents, they are the best people on earth and will listen to you no matter what happens. Try not to think a lot about this stuff. People who can take care of others, can take care of themselves. You will get over it soon. Take good care of yourself.

Answer 5

i know it might seem harsh
but i'd go off at her
after everything u did for her
you were her shoulder to cry on when she needed you most
you could have turned around and said suck it up but you didnt you stood by her
and when u need her the most she does this it aint right
tell her how you feel and dont back down
sounds like you deserve more than that
a real friend would be there for you
hope it goes ok
=]

Answer 6

Well Lucy--a friend in need is a friend indeed. You were a good support to your friend and you were there when she needed you. Perhaps during your difficult time you have another friend that you could lean on. It seems selfish of her not remember the times that you were there for her but what are you going to do?? If you have another friend lean on them for support and still be there for her. Good luck.

Answer 7

im sorry your friend is so selfish thats a really horrible thing to do.when you have a problem its better to turn to someone else then someone who is going to add to your problems an make you feel worse. i would just completely back off she will soon realise why, let her find out the hard way you cant treat people like that.

Answer 8

your friend doesnt deserve you, she is selfish and doesnt care.... you don't need ppl like that in your life especially if u been feeling down it will only make u feel worse. Get her told and don't talk to her after that, really you can find better friends... friends who care and friends who wanna help.

Answer 9

freindship involves give and take-and your 'friend' just takes. you've been a true freind being there for them and if they if they are so selfish to not help out their freind in their hour of need because they are fed up of worrying about you then they do not deserve you as a friend!!! your not in the wrong, she is!

Answer 10

Not much of a friend. Have you told her exactly how you feel - briefly? Give her up and say why in a very few words. Don't meet to do it.