My wife told me she is ready to have a kid......?

Question

I am 24 yrs old and my told me the other day that she is ready to have a kid. I love kids but I just am not ready for this type of responsibility shes a little upset with me right now. Am I being selfish?

Answer 1

no way, 24 is young. unless you have done a lot of things together like vacations or whatever, waiting is great. My husband and I waited a while and are so glad because we did so much before we had kids, now its too hard or cost to much. Just explain to her you feelings, if she is truly mad than she is the selfish one.

Answer 2

The real question is this: Do you want to have children? Are you waiting to pursue a career or acquire a degree? Do you love kids but simply do not wish to have any with your wife? If you honestly want to have kids then you are not being selfish. You are reacting like any man would. Having a kid is a huge responsibility. It is one you will never be fully ready for. Listen, you will never find the perfect time to have a child. When it happens everything changes. Your needs come second. Your child's needs come first. In the end it is all worth it; it's a wonderful thing.
It is clear that you and your wife need to talk this over and share your expectations for the future. If you do not this may become a source of conflict in your marriage. As a married man you must know how important your wife's opinion is. You don't want her to poison your dinner do you? Hahaha.
I hope this helps.

Answer 3

I'd say you are being a little selfish, but when exactly do you think you'd be ready? Are you waiting to finish college or get a secure job or just want more time alone with your wife? These things are not selfish - they are thoughtful of your relationship. If you are just waiting to have a child bc/ you want to buy that new big screen that you don't need or you aren't quite finished playing video games or hanging out with the boys all hours of the night than yeah, you're being a bit selfish in terms of marriage. HOnestly, being 24 years old and not able to handle the responsibility of being a parent sounds a little childish. It's not really something you "handle" anyways. It's something you grow to adore. I'll admit I wasn't the happiest person when I found out I'd be giving birth to our first at 21, but it's a growing process and well worth the effort.

Answer 4

No you are being honest, and responsible. This is not a decision that should be made lightly or on a whim. Did you discuss a timeline before you got married for children and now you are backing out?? If not, then she is not being fair. If you have any friends with a child, see if you can have the child stay with you for a week or two. NOT A BABY, those are easy...Get a two year old or older. One that needs constant attention, entertainment, and never gives you a moments peace.. She may reconsider once she sees what that beautiful bundle of joy turns into within a couple of years. Kids are great, I have 3, but you really have to be ready!!!

Answer 5

You're not being selfish, good thing that you know what you want now. You really need to talk to your wife and explain to her exactly how you're feeling. Children are a huge responsibility and it never stops. Enjoy the time you have together before you have children as once they arrive, they become number one... you think about what's best for them first always and then put your own needs in place. Make sure you are communicating this with your wife without sounding like a self absorbed boof head. Good luck

Answer 6

The only reason she should be upset with you is because you haven't told her a plan. Sit in you office and think, when would i like to have kids. one year, two years from now. You come up with that and tell it to her. Now she's ready ASAP so after y'all have this conversation there will be some compromising. say you want to wait 3 years (just for example). she wants them now, well how about waiting 1.5 years. and that will have her feeling better to know that it is a plan you both agree to. Good luck. The only way to be selfish is to not compromise.

Answer 7

dude i got ur back. these people on here are ragging on u. but i will give u some ecouragement.

do what you want to do

screw what these other people think.

u don't have to have children to make a marriage successful. kids are a VERY BIG RESPONSIBILITY & SHOULDN'T BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. u can have a happy marriage by spending all of ur time w/ each other doing what u want to do each day, u can spontaneously just get up & go do things & wake up when u want to wake up. its a wonderful thing. plus u are young. ur 24 yrs old. u don't need to have a child that young anyways (some people shouldn't have kids at all but that's for another day). enjoy ur youth. youth is a beautiful thing.

the same people on yahoo answers that tell u to have a child are the same people that are also unfulfilled in their lives & they want to drag people down in their misery. once u have a child these same people won't be there for babysitting. they won't be there when ur tearing ur hair out because the baby is screaming. they won't be their when u have to wake up every 3 hours in the night to feed the baby & put him or her to sleep. no they won't it will be ur responsibility. u have a right to be happy in life. don't live ur life through others. its better regretting to have a child than having a child & resent it.

i'm 27 & i have no kids. its so wonderful getting up in the morning doing what u want to do when u want to do it. its fulfilling. i have chosen to be childfree. i just don't want kids. its my right & my choice. not everyone is happy but they are not walking in my shoes.

about ur wife, did u discuss this before u got married? if so & if u changed ur mind its ok. some people just don't want kids. have a long & serious talk w/ ur wife. but i will warn u. don't have sex with this woman unless she is on birth control & u use a condom. don't mean to be harsh but its reality. if she isn't willing to do that don't have sex w/ her. u have to stand up for what is right.

this is a dealbreaker in a relationship. U AREN'T SELFISH. u can't compromise on having kids. u either have them or u don't. if she is unwilling to respect ur feelings & not have kids right now u need to consider divorcing her & moving on to someone else.

again u have to live ur life for urself not anyone else's.

Answer 8

Okay, I realize quite a few people are telling you to run far! But don't do this, think about it. Do you love your wife? Do you want to spend the rest of your live together ? If yes, then go for it. What could be the problem ? If you think you're too stressed as a couple though, a baby will NOT help the situation. Hope I helped. From Karlee x.
P.S. I'm 12 xD, but I say better answers than most of the people on here who are 30 lmao.

Answer 9

How long have you been married? You are pretty young. Enjoy yourselves first before having a baby.Stick to your guns because the last thing you want to do is have a baby and resent it. She should understand, but she might feel better if you talk about it and decide on when you want to have kids like once you have put money away for college or maybe in a few years. Good luck.

Answer 10

Well, honestly you are 24 years old. You are not being selfish. She wants kids and its upsetting her because you do not want them as well. I would agree on a time that you will start trying for kids. Whether it be in six months or whether it be in three months. Though kids are a big responsibility. You are only 24 that is young to take on such a big responsibility. You should agree on a time and stick with it unless some unknown circumstance comes up and you need to change it. Talk to her about it.

Answer 11

No. Kids are a huge responsibility and 24 is young. (Most) women come with this maternal need to just.. have a child! It's like an urge. She probably thinks you are just being lazy and doesnt understand you are really not ready for the responsibility. Sit her down quietly and tell her directly that its very important to you to eventually have kids with her-- but that now isnt the time. You just arent ready.

Good luck!!!