How do you break the news that you want a divorce to a husband who is emotionally unstable? I fear for my safety and my familys safety if I just present the papers to him, yet I also worry about my heirlooms in my home if I just leave him. Is there any middle ground to tread on when asking him? Any way to protect my family and possesions while still telling him that I dont love him anymore?
2007-12-28 19:20:25 · 14 answers · asked by California Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There really is no easy way to break the news that you want a divorce to anyone. I would say get your family and things out and somewhere safe and have him served.
2007-12-28 19:25:50 · answer #1 · answered by Tantrum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you the one moving out or is he? If you are leaving, then I would pack up some of the more expensive things saying you are afraid the kids are going to break them while playing. Then one day while he is working, have your friends come over and help you pack the rest of the breakables and move them out while he is at work. You could start about 30 minutes after he leaves and have the heirlooms out before he got home. Most men will not try to pick up and throw a couch. Then you need to sit him down, maybe at a restaurant or with friends of your that know what is going on and tell him. Or you could just leave him a note and not be there when he gets home from work. You can pick up the rest of your things after the papers are served and with the police if you feel it necessary. Document all of his physical acts of violence for the court and report it to the police. If he breaks anything else of yours before you can pick them up, the court can make him pay for them.
2007-12-28 19:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your attorney. He/She can tell you what you can legally take out of the house. After you get your things moved out (since he's unstable) call him at work and tell him your filing for divorce. Being the circumstances your in this would be the safest way, but otherwise you should tell a spouse to their face. The papers are usually served.
2007-12-28 20:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Sounds like a scary situation. Best way I can think of to break the news with this guy is to get ahold of your father, brother, uncle, etc...and break it (the news) with confidence, knowing someones got your back if he freaks out. Make sure the moving van is there when you tell him. You'll have help with the move. Just get out. Cold turkey. Plan in advance. Do it in the morning, take the day off of work. Move everything while he's at work. Quick and clean. Good luck.
2007-12-28 19:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While he is out, change the locks, then let the police know before he gets home whats happening so they know first. Let your family know and they can be there when he comes home to confront this scenario - get a good lawyer. Or you can wait til he goes out and take some things a bit at a time until one day you pack everything up and just go! Good luck
2007-12-28 19:27:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You move out and take the things you love with you while he's gone. Then tell him. No sense in putting yourself of heirlooms in harms way.
2007-12-28 19:44:52 · answer #6 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when we get divorced, we don't just go get divorce papers and throw them into our spouse's face (well, not normally).
if you feel you are in danger, perhaps find a few men (relatives, friends) to come to your house on the day you tell him... and make sure these guys are going to move your things out at the same time.
meanwhile, if you have children, make sure they are in a safe place.
if he has threatened, or abused you, please make a police report so it will be on record in case he becomes abusive or violent again.
2007-12-28 19:24:38 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
letterst has the right idea. We did that with my girlfriend. The cops came with us but they said that they could not do anything unless he tried to hurt her. They stood in the house while we packed her stuff. You could also pack your stuff and move the kids with help while he is at work. You will want help in case someone calls him and tells him that you are moving. It does happen.
2007-12-28 19:43:24 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way is by telling him exactly the reasons why you are deciding to divorce him> Otherwise, he will be very upset.
2007-12-28 19:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You serve them the papers
2007-12-28 19:26:07 · answer #10 · answered by flashdancer1013 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋