Heart burns fire
Killing me softly tonight
I will give a fight
2007-12-28 18:41:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
i messed up! sorry.
2007-12-28 19:00:34 · update #1
Very, very well done. But the first line only has four syllables and not five, and that is provided you count fire as two different syllables (fie, er).
I would suggest adding "with."
"Heart burns with fire"
That should give it enough syllables. But the haiku is excellent.
2007-12-28 18:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
6
2007-12-29 02:45:24 · answer #2 · answered by mil414 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its alright. I would give it a 7-8.
But it isn't really a haiku you know. I thought there was suppose to be 5 syllables then 7 syllables then 5. but your first line only has four.
2007-12-29 02:45:26 · answer #3 · answered by ◕‿◕ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's really good! I'm not sure if it actually qualifies as a haiku; isn't it 5-7-5? That's 4-7-5. But, still, it is really good.
2007-12-29 02:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by Hyacynth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As others state it isn't strictly Haiku, BUT I think the context works.
Steven Wolf
2007-12-29 06:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by DIY Doc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I'm not a fan.
the second line is from a song and the meaning of the third line is out of keeping with the first line. 3/10.
2007-12-29 02:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by Noz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first line makes sense but the second and third really dont go with it. You have the write idea you just need to rewordit. To make a good one:havea dictionary and tresures present when making it. ( :
2007-12-29 02:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's not a haiku and i give it a 3
2007-12-29 02:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by Simmy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well the first sentence is only 4 syllables, but other than that it's nice.
2007-12-29 02:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Fitz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would give it a 5
2007-12-29 07:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by dimplesoft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋