How do you communicate effectively with an abusive jerk who is in denial of that fact?

Question

This guy is in total control of finances, transportation, etc. and will get drunk every other night, name call, give orders, and be a general jerk towards his wife. He wakes up the next day and apologizes, like nothing happened. If she attempts to discuss these issues with him he will turn everything around on her, like she is being controlling. Their marriage councelor told them that he will have to allow transportation and (at least!) discuss financial matters in order for their relationship to move forward. He still hasn't done anything the shrink told him to do. So how do you effectively communicate with an abusive jerk?

Answer 1

Well to start with you don't mess with someone elses relationship other to say if it ain't going to work it time to get out. If he is not willing to work out the problems that are simple then the the deal is off. see ya

Answer 2

I don't think there is anyway to effectively communicate with an abusive jerk that is in denial. They know deep down that what they are doing is wrong but they are too proud to admit it. Maybe if other people called him on it, it would help but then it could also make it worse. I would suggest helping her leave to a safe place would be best. If he refuses to listen, acknowledge or change then talking to him about it is doing nothing. Hopefully she can safely leave and maybe then that will be his wake-up call to straighten up.

Answer 3

you don't you leave, the guy is a jerk, she needs to leave, I'm serious this jerk is only one step away from hitting her if he already hasn't, absolutely ridiculous that she doesn't have any transportation or money, these only get worse time for her to leave, life is too short to put up with this type of craziness, and guys like this have a case of the deep down crazies

Answer 4

Did you talk faith with those people past to being in this website, or became there some mutual contract to no longer deliver it up? I nevertheless particularly plenty relate to people an analogous way as I continually have. whether i've got in easy terms been in R & S some weeks, I spent 2 years in politics and nevertheless do no longer attempt to argue with acquaintances who're no longer in my social gathering.

Answer 5

You don't. You see that shrink yourself and ask the shrink to help you with your self esteem so that you can move on effectively without much pain. You need to believe and be convinced that you deserve better, or else you will be stuck with your jerk for ever and ever. Show this reply to your shrink and I am sure she/he will agree with me. It hurts much when you feel that you are irremediably in love, but you have to make that move. Believe me, you wont die. Good luck.

Answer 6

It takes 2 people who cooperate together, to make anything work.

You do not have his cooperation. So, it won't work. And .. he probably does not want it to change ... he has everything just like he likes it ... so everything is working for him .. he is satisfied.

You don't communicate verbally with a jerk. You have to show him action. Action -- he will understand.

Answer 7

You can't unless he's willing. He sees nothing wrong with himself and therefore he doesn't see a need to change. Until he does change things about himself they're is no way of getting anything threw to him. She needs to take control of her life and stand up for herself preferably when he's not drunk!

Answer 8

1- get a rope
2- get the cast iorn skillet from the kitchen
3- when it happens again tie his a** to the bed beat him senseless with the skillet
4- get an attorney and divorce his a**

Answer 9

You can not communicate with anyone who is in denial. They WILL NOT change unless they change themselves.

Answer 10

The way i delt with this situation, was to LEAVE