Here is my problem:
I'm 21, and I've never been in a relationship, and that's mainly because I have a lot of difficulty understanding what's going on here.
Just pretend your girlfriend or boyfreind didn't have sex organs, okay? When you remove the sexual attraction, and the romance from the picture, what is the difference between your love for your significant other, and your love for your friend or family member?
I just don't get it. I know it may sound completely stupid, and maybe it's becuase I've never been "in love" or whatever. It's just that, everytime I think I want a relationship, I remember that dating always feels silly, like a waste of time, and having a "real" relationship with someone would mean friendship... which isn't really different from a regular friendship except for the sex part... or is it? Someone please explain this to me! Am I crazy?
2007-12-28 18:15:10 · 8 answers · asked by litestim 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
In a way, you are right. The very best love relationships come from strong, friendships that went one step deeper. It is the same love, but more. You are not stupid. It is actually great, to be able to see someone as a person, a friend first, then let those other feelings come when they may, without putting pressure on. When those other feelings come, it will not be you making something happen. It is like a bomb going off, and you will know.
2007-12-28 18:35:29 · answer #1 · answered by heaven eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Saralites,
“Love” happens (something like Forrest Gump’s winning slogan). It’s Chemistry, one minute you’re a 100 miles away, then Bingo, it’s with your, irrational, insufferable at times, but it’s there. This goes for any degree of “Love”, but it’s especially true of “the Love of your Life”. The physical and psychological are so entwined, that you cannot gauge when one stops and the other starts. You want to be “one” with your partner, that’s all. Of course there’s another “kind” of love, for a faith, a hobby, a place, but I hardly think you are referring to that variety. Persevere , my wife was your age when we met and 9 months later we were happily married, 2 years later the first kid, three years after the 2nd. Never a moments regret. If you don’t meet the right person, perhaps you don’t really want to. In the meantime explore the other types of attraction – mating and companionship; had a great time before I met “the one Love of my life”, never looked back.
Happy hunting and don’t fret.
2007-12-29 10:05:52 · answer #2 · answered by Cycwynner 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are two kinds of love: romantic love and brotherly or sisterly love or friendship. Both are necessary in a really successful relationship. In this society, we are terribly fixated on romance and half of marriages end in divorce because we don't give our partners basic human love that we should (though we don't, which is the other part of the problem) accord to all people. So yes, when you remove the romance, there really is no difference between your love for your partner and your love for others.
Your problem seems to me to be that you have become alienated from your sexuality, since dating (and by extension, the dance of romance) seems silly to you.
2007-12-29 03:14:42 · answer #3 · answered by yet-knish! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
with the man that I love its like we are one soul. We have an emotional bond that we can both feel and that is what I think love it. I think the that connection I have with him, is what love is. You are not crazy, you just haven't had made the connection with anyone yet. You don't stupid, someday when you meet someone who you are able to become infatuated with, ither mind or body, then you most likely feel the emotional connecction. but it might not happen till your 30, but there is no hurry, alot of very succesfull women don't get married untill later in life. But when you deside you want kids you will want to get married cause it is a milloion times easyer to provide a stable happy home enviornment for your children.
2007-12-29 03:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by Aztrik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Often times people love their family members out of obligation. The love you feel for a mate is different because you choose that person based on common interests, how they make you feel, etc. You are not obligated to love that person. That is one thing that can make it different.
2007-12-29 02:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by Trina™ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't try to make things too complicated when you are in love. All you need is to have "simply faith" in your relationship and the person who you plan to marry. The person who loves you must also do the same.
2007-12-29 03:34:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, your young & smart. That was deep, sex makes our emotions More intense, happier, disappointed, lonely, hate, intense love, more jealous than if we didnt have sex with that person, & on &on... I think your right. I like your thinking. take care, tina
2007-12-29 02:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by tina l 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it is your personal observation.
2007-12-29 02:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋