My husband and I had a huge fight. He left me (for the 50th time).?

Question

We are in our early 20s and every time his high school friend comes back into town from the university, he starts huge fights and goes and stays with him. He is always blowing me off for my friends. I have packed up his stuff and told him I will bring it to the security at his work. He does not want me to. Question is: I am a Christian person and don't believe in divorce. But this business of running off with his friends is irritating and immature. Should I divorce him on the basis of this? Or is this something that can be worked around.

We have a 7 mo old son.

Answer 1

It seems like you both have some issues you need to work on. First figure out why he starts fights when this friend comes into town. Is it because you dont like him so you fight about that, or because he has deeper issues and decides to start it then, or does he have a special relationship with the person. Second figure out why you always result to threatining him that you are going to kick him out. Why does it always reslut to that, is it because you want him to fight for you to reasure his love for you or because deep down you want a break.
What ever the reason is, you are both young and are still growing as individules and as a couple. Try to sit down and talk or if thats not an option try a counselor.

Answer 2

You are the only one that knows if it can be worked out or not. You have to decide what you will put up with and how much of it you will deal with. Honestly, you guys are way too young to be married. That's why he is acting like he is, he is immature. Personally, I don't believe in divorce until I know I have tried everything. You should try counseling but at your age I don't think it would be any "sin" to get a divorce. You were too young to know what you were getting into. He won't stop because he knows he doesn't have to. We teach people how to treat us. Good luck honey.

Answer 3

Did you marry a man or a boy? He married you, and until you have kids, you need to be the most important person in his life. Are you happy? Doesn't sound that way. It sounds like a lot of drama. Do you feel like putting up with this? Do you think he will grow out of it? It's a big decision. You need to let him know you mean business. Tell him that you want to live your life a certain way - and if he can't be play a positive role in that life then there is no reason for you to be together - then hand him his stuff. Only do this if you are prepared to lose him though.

~J.M.

Answer 4

Being new parents really does change the dynamics of your relationship. It changes the demands and expectations you have for each other. It means a new level of communication, that perhaps both of you are struggling with. If he is going out with his friends quite regularly, and you are home to care for the baby then you are going to feel resentful and neglected, for both you and your baby. He may not know how to handle this new responsibility and is looking for a way to escape being a Father by creating an argument, he is feeling overwhelmed. Talk to a counselor before making any rash decisions. Having a baby is a huge responsibility, and perhaps by getting some counseling on this you can both better adjust to the new responsibility, and have a more harmonious family.

Maybe you need a night to yourself, where he takes care of the baby. Figure out what you are willing to settle for, because you are both going to need a bit of time to yourself, but you both have to come to an understanding as to what is acceptable.

This is a common issue in new families that can be resolved if both parties are willing, and is addressed quickly. It may be that he is not ready for the responsibility, but wouldn't it be best to explore your options for resolve before you throw in the towel?

Good luck.

Answer 5

No you shouldn't divorce him, from what you are saying happen, is there more to it? Sound like y'all are having some communication problems. Try and talk to him and tell him how you feel about the situation. You being a christian, you have to birth your marriage out in prayer. Pray about everything, and when you pray don't just pray about your husband but also yourself. You maybe doing something that may be causing him to pull away. I'm not saying you are, but you must be humble enough to ask yourself, maybe I'm the the one wrong and if you truly haven't done anything wrong you must ask God to help your marriage. Marriage is so powerful to God he really honor it. Never give up so easy, marriage is work and it's what you put into it.

Answer 6

Its sounds like your husband still hasn't grown up and succumbed to the reality of marriage. He doesn't have to stop associating with friends. However he does have to include you in his life. You religion isn't a factor in his life he takes that for granted knowing you won't walk. You have a whole life ahead of you. He might not be ready for marriage yet. Unfortunately you have to divorce him and let him grow up or try to work things out with a marriage counselor or a minister. Do something now before you consider kids. Do not become pregnant thinking it will change him. If anything it might scare him away more leaving you a single parent.

Answer 7

My older sister who is 23 is in the same situation. Her boyfriend always threatens to leave, and does for a couple of days, then comes right back. It might just be that you two get aggrivated at each other alot, and since you are still about 20 years old, that's something you will both need to sort out for future plans. I think it's kind of childish, sinec I've seen it happen so much with my sister. Don't run out on him, and don't let him run out on you. If it goes further into a HUGE problem, I would suggest counseling.

Answer 8

What you accept you teach. You say he has done this 50 times and you take him back, so he isn't going to have a sudden change of heart and stay home. He sounds very immature and manipulative. There are worse things than getting a divorce, one is having children with a man who is still one himself. Tell him that if he doesn't agree to see a counselor to develop better relationship strategies then you are finished.

Answer 9

Don't throw the towel in just yet. Try counseling, try talking, you can't move out every time there is a spat. And big your battles, I can only imagine how you feel and i am sure trust is going right out the door when he goes try to work on it and if not separate...if then you haven't fixed it divorce him. Whatever you do take care of your baby Good luck

Answer 10

Whether it can be worked around depends on the 2 of you, not just him and not just you.

Whether you believe in divorce or not your relationship is going nowhere if this has happened 50 times and continues to happen.

When his friend is not in town try sitting him down and suggesting marriage guidance counselling. If you don't get a response - it's time to be moving on.