Why do some people change after marriage?

Answer 1

Hi Lavender

In some cases...maybe its not that they change but that the spouse didn't know them well enough before they married them. I think you can never fully know a person unless you have lived with them as that is when you can know their bad habits and other quirks and intolerance's.

But change could come about because a spouse may have hardened as a result of life circumstances, acquired some bad habit like drinking or having become complacent about having to make an effort in the marriage because love may have faded for whatever reason or maybe just that the chase is not there...depending on the personality type. Sometimes the wrong kind of interference from in-laws can ruin things but if this is so then this may be that either spouse may not have the skills to know how to deal with the situation. Counseling may help in any case.

I think with the right caring and loving attitude, EFFORT, and mutual consideration and cooperation, love should grow rather than fade. The marriage is like a rose tree that needs ever feeding, watering, pruning. Complacency in a marriage is like depriving the rose tree of the right nourishment: the rose tree eill wither and not bloom: equally the marriage would sour and love would fade.

Life is complex but doesn't have to be insha'Allah. Having a partner who is in tune with you in faith, interests and sensitivity might help. No point in stressing too much about any of this: what will be will be: but take all precautions as necessary.

Take care and God bless.
Salaam.

Answer 2

Everyone is changing. But if both of you live together, you will see the changes more often and more clear compared to when you are staying separately. The perception on live is already different. It is easy when you live your life by yourself, but living with other is not easy. That's life after marriage. People do change but not all ... as long as the love still exist, that's the best part ...

Answer 3

it depends on what you mean. Some people r much happier after marriage because they r with someone they love. Some people r not so happy with who they married. And also friends may not have time for you anymore because they r busy with their new family.

Answer 4

This is why living together before marriage IS a good idea. My hubby and I have been married for nearly 20 years. We lived together for two years before marriage, time enough to see each other as we really were and know what we were getting into.

Answer 5

i have seen this.
i think it is because of growing differences between one another before marriage and after marriage they get someone totally new who they think is the best one who may help him /her in problems &solving them & they tend to give their partner atmost respect 7 importence which is clearly visible as a change in behaviour.

Answer 6

Uh, it's calle life?! lol . We all are to grow and change, for the good!

I mean in 25 yrs, do you still want the young and dumb, bad decision maker for a partner?! Or you want a wise, experienced lover?!

Answer 7

for women they adapt and change around their husbands sometimes its for the better and someties for the worse

i think its just part of the transistion of life from sinlgedom to marriage

Answer 8

I don't think people necessarily change but you definetly start seeing them in a different light when the hooneymoon is over.

Answer 9

Good question , I lived with my ex for 18 years before I married her as soon as we got married she was a different person , I always thought it was gold poisoning from the wedding ring that changed her and made her azz swell up and get wide....

Answer 10

Because they know that they have the one they love in front of them and they don't have to be someone else to stay with their husband/wife