EXPLOSIVE Chemistry & Very deeply in love but nothing in common?

Question

We virtually have nothing in common except our lovemaking and we usually enjoy the same type of food. He is into playing video games, poker(he actulally wins more than he loses). I am not at all interested in the things that he is interested in. We seldom do things together. We will go walking or hiking about once a month. We watch TV together and have political discussions but I am a believer in Christ and he is agnostic. He only relies on science and I rely more on my faith. I tried to stay away from him b/c he was not a believer but we both missed each other so much we couldn't stand it. I have been going with him for 3 years. How will we ever have the like purpose that a committed couple should share? I know nothing else to do but to keep praying.

We are planning on marriage but I want to be sure. How many strong Christians do we have out there that can wait after they have been married before? My first husband died.

Answer 1

My husband and my self have very little in common, and when we first got married we had nothing in common. But over the years we have found things to do together, that we both enjoy.
We both like to go out to eat, and my favorite restaurant became his also when I first took him there. We take turns picking movies to watch together. And when we go places together, who ever is driveing has control over the radio, he likes rap, and I like very little of it. I like country, or oldies/Motown. And when it comes to the TV, he likes the scifi channel, CNN, BBC, fox news, history, and science channels and things like that. And I like crime dramas, like law and order, and I like house, and things like that. We just take turns watching what we want.
And I have come to like watching him fish, but he always makes sure we do other fun things on his fishing trips, like going to the beach.
You just have to find things you will both enjoy. It is impossible to not have at least some things in common, that is why you try new things, that maybe you wouldn't think you would like. But in the end you never know until you try it.
And as far as religion, we both believe in different things. But we both respect the others opinions and beliefs.
Just make sure you aren't confusing lust with love. If you cant sit and talk to each other, and the only thing you actually do together is sex, then that isn't love. There has to be more then just that, because some day the sex might be gone, and then what do you do?

Answer 2

Then keep on praying. By the laws of Nature,you two are realy unalike but most likely to succeed. Try to give alittle and try some of the things he likes and maybe he just might give a little too so you guys can find a common ground cause I feela very strong love bond here except for this minute challenge and you two shall over come this perhaps with a little divine intervention from above.All things are possible if you only believe. Good luck and God bless

Answer 3

It sounds similar to my last relationship as far as the religious views and lack of common interests, but the roles were reversed, . The one thing that seemed impossible for us was the religious and political difference. We could deal with the differing interests, after all he was a guy and I wasn't, plus we developed interests in cooking together and gardening etc. But it is very hard for a religious person to accept the fact that someone doesn't share their views. They want to convert the other person, even though when an adult chooses agnosticism it is a mature and thoughtfully made decision and should be respected. Sorry to say, I felt he was very intolerant of my views.
What you need to remember is that passion will eventually fade, and you must develop respect and common goals for the direction of your life. It wasn't possible for me, I hope you can resolve your issues in some way.

Answer 4

what are you praying for....? so you can change him?

hon, truth is sometimes opposites do attract. and it seems to be true in your case.... accepting your guy at face value might be a good place to start.

secondly, why don't you ask HIM out sometimes? maybe you'd like to go to dinner or do something special? a weekend away ? I'm sure there are many things you can do together if you look around.

Maybe join a gym together and go at the same time? Or even take time out a night each week to play a game of some type, like cards. Go hiking together or swimming... spend a day at the beach in nice weather.. go to the zoo... visit a museum or aquarium. Activities will help.

Because you are so different you each have different views and ideas to bring into the relationship... and it could be interesting. Accepting your differences, might lead to enjoying them.

I say ask your guy to take time out to do something together once every week or two.

I don't think your relationship is a set up for a big mess... compromise and acceptance might really help things. take care.

Answer 5

It is okay to keep praying, especially if you are praying for his heart to open to God, however you should know that if he does NOT come around to God, it is a mistake for you to continue dating him, and will be even more of a mistake to marry him. Even if he was a different religion than you, it would be easier because at least you both believe in SOME sort of God, but for someone who has faith in a higher power and someone who doesn't...it's impossible to make it work. The other things you mention are incidental and would be workable in a situation where you both shared faith, but the issue of belief vs. non-belief is one that has no wiggle room. I've seen too many couples ignore this and try to have a relationship in the absence of faith in some sort of deity, only to fail.

I wish you luck, and God bless. And, please, ignore the two posters who are judging you and calling you a fornicator - it's very easy for them to act perfect behind a computer screen, isn't it? Were they telling you in way that conveyed concern, it would be different, but they aren't - they are being sanctimonious and acting as though they are morally superior, while failing to realize that being sanctimonious and acting morally superior are sins in and of themselves. Last I heard, GOD is the only one who should be judging.

Answer 6

nothing in common is not so bad . u will learn frm him n vice versa. this can help u to accept others in many situation like @ work, in a group of friend, etc (co-operation, understanding, sharing, tolerence) dont show him that u r in love with him. he may seize the occasion just bcoz he wanna spend some good time with u. do as if u r no more interested. ignore him for a while. ooh by the way, 'like' is different from 'love'

Answer 7

Your relationship has little to no chance of success. Love is an necessary ingredient for a marriage, but it is not sufficient. You also have to have shared interests (not all of them, but some), shared values, common goals, etc.

As others have pointed out, if you are praying for this relationship, you might as well stop. Your continuation of a sinful sexual relationship with a man that makes no claim to be a follower of Christ makes any such prayers an abomination to God. You are asking Him to bless what he has called sin!

If you truly believe in prayer and want to live as a believer, not just call yourself one, your first prayer must be one of repentence for your sin. Then you will have to discontinue your sexual relationship with this man. You can and should pray for his salvation, but I'll bet once the sex stops, so will the relationship. He is not interested in you for anything else, obviously.

Of course, the other option is to just stop pretending to live a Christian life, and live your life as you please. You still won't have a long term relationship with this guy - still nothing in common - but you might ease your guilt over violating your Christian principles. You will still have to worry about your soul and eternity, but it sounds like that takes a back seat to your sexual satisfaction.

Answer 8

Wow! Answer from Baseball said it all. Ditto!

I also want to add: I sense a little bit of hypocrisy from your statement!

I'll stick to my point--I think the poster is being a pretentious Christian. Give me a break. Inviting a guy in her room and laying in bed together and have him lay in on top of her. Yea, sure she's innocent alright! She's a tease and wants to appear like miss "goody goody"

And F.Y.I-- If you want to marry someone who does same interest as you, then marry yourself. That's a very unrealistic expectation. Get over yourself. I have been married for 3 years with the guy whom I barely have in common. He graduated from Harvard, a law student and a complete nerd and a bookworm. I am a social butterfly who gets bored after reading two pages of magazine! We get along fine, happily married with a one year old son!

Answer 9

First IF you are a believer, then how could you know you have nothing in common but your lovemaking? Fornication is expressly forbidden in the Bible! So if you are a believer, then you should not be committing fornication with him. Therefore, you should not have any problem not dating an agnostic that you have nothing in common with. To which are you committed to: God or your lover?

Answer 10

I think its better to be different from your spouse. That way you both have different things to bring to the marriage. As they say "Opposites attract" Good Luck!!