How to deal with too much pride?

Question

Hi there,
I am newly separated and think it is normal to miss my husband even he acted very immature. Is it? Both of us have to much pride to make that first approach, When he left (he is from Europe) he said not to give up on our marriage yet, and sent me a couple short e-mails. I know his is suffering like me, but won't admit. I on another hand don't want to be a doormat and can't forgive him or leaving during the Chritmas time, he could easily rent a room in a hotel not run to mum and dad when things get tough. I am missing him, but I don't think I want to keep in touch with him at least for now. I know you have to work things out in your marriage, but him running away for the second time
doesn't leave me with too much trust in this man.
How can I deal with my problem?

Answer 1

Forget being labelled or labelling yourself a 'doormat'. Be natural. if you really have feelings for him, underneath the layer of 'pride', JUST DO IT!!!
Remember, the strong one is not one who does not budge, but someone who is courageous enoughto take a step.

Answer 2

i think you are right not to have any trust in this guy, i mean to run away once is bad enough but twice is a bit much, have you ever heard the old saying fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me, sounds like it is time to get on with your life as he sounds too immature to be married, a lot of people expect a woman to run home to mama but to have a man do it especially at christmas and go out of the country is another kettle of fish, i hope you 2 don't have any children yet this would be a big mistake with this man, as for don't give up on the marriage yet comming from him and the emails is just another way for him to have his cake and eat it too, he wants to go home to mommy and daddy without you and he wants to keep you in reserve so he has somewhere and someone when he decides to come back, i think it is time you stop waiting for him to decide what to do with your life and tell him he might as well stay in europe and you will have the diivorce papers sent to him over there, you don't need a child to raise. that is something his mother should have done, and it may not be her fault it could be he is just a baby, and some guys never make the shift to being a man, quit wasteing your time

Answer 3

if this is the second time he's run off, then he probably has some sort of issue causing his behavior. he will continue to "run away" when times get tough, unless HE gets a handle on it.

just like the person above, i think that, if you get back together the first thing to do is start a marriage counseling program.

learning to communicate and more about yourselves as individuals may help.

pride is rediculous.. it's nice to have dignity, but pride is just like stubbornness... it gets in the way.

Answer 4

Forget your pride. Make the first move. It will always be worth the try. At least you would not end up wondering if you didnt do what you have to do to save your relationship. If the outcome is negative, well... at least you tried. You gave yourselves both a chance.

Answer 5

Marriage counseling. Before either one of you calls it quits both of you need to go see a therapist and work out some things in your life. If it doesn't work at least you can say you tried.

Answer 6

Hi madonna; Pride is a good thing to have it keeps you from letting your self get hurt over and over.he left he is the one that hurt you so don't think that you have to be the one to make things right.If you have the chance to be happy with some one else then you should go for it and don't think that he isn't doing it to you.I am your friend dark angel.

Answer 7

Yep I agree, counseling. Talk to someone, anyone just to be sure. I mean what if it DID work and you two just walked away?!

Good Luck!