I have a big problem. I was in a bad relationship with my ex and have 2 kids with him. I trusted him and gave him everything and it just backfired in my face. This happened once before when I was a teenager. I am now engaged and have been with him for over 5 yrs now, but I find myself not trusting him the way that he deserves. I need to be able to trust him or I won't be able to marry him. Any serious advice please...Thank you ...
2007-12-28 15:52:40 · 9 answers · asked by kristianneveah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi hon.. i sure don't have all the answers, but i did a search, and the site in sources below looks like a good one, and you may just find the help and information you're looking for.
Another thing you might do is a search for SETTING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES... You know, marriage is a give and take. It's not a GIVE GIVE GIVE and get nothing in return. Personal boundaries are about self-preservation.
Learning to take care of YOU is essential for personal growth, too.
Remember other adults are perfectly capable of doing things for themselves, and that is one rule i live by.
I hope you and your future husband will take the time to discuss future expectations, goals and plans... how you wish to live. Even about laundry... if you don't want to do his, then tell him so ! (I have a friend who does her own laundry, and husband does his own). If you plan to cook a supper only a few times a week, then let him know... in other words, don't let him walk into the marriage with expectations of you -- let him know how you feel about things, and find out how HE feels too. Planning and communicating does help!
take care and i wish you all the best.
2007-12-28 16:13:51 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have to keep in ur mind that he is a completely different person from ur ex. It's hard cuz ur scared of getting hurt but u have to put ur fear aside and believe the fact that there is a great guy in front of u and should not be punished becuz of ur ex. As long as he tells u how he feels and means it then u should have nothing to worry about.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I love you Jason, and it's time I take my own advice as I was typing that I realize now what u have been telling me. I'm sorry and I love you more then u'll ever know! I am going to think positive from here on out ~MUAH~
2007-12-29 00:03:26 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to promise you anything, but listen to your heart. Do what it tells you, but if there is any doubt, let the brain intervene and do the talking. Sometimes the heart can lie to you.
You also could be backlashing and rehashing old events. Your new guy could be just fine. You also need to step back a moment and figure out what exactly it is that he is not trustworthy. Seriously, figure it out.. make a list and see if it's just your wild imagination going crazy.
2007-12-28 23:59:09 · answer #3 · answered by drarkane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to fix you, BEFORE committing to someone else. You will be a different person, and will be able to trust in the true sense of the word. Both of you will be happier if you work on yourself first, then proceed.
2007-12-28 23:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by SweetGGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is one of the main things to have in a healthy relationship.
be careful before you say your I DO's.
2007-12-29 00:06:06 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your conscious is trying to tell you the truth.
Listen to it.
You deserve so much. Don't settle for less.
Good luck.
2007-12-28 23:56:23 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no trust no truth,move on.
2007-12-29 00:49:09 · answer #7 · answered by vintagemale1951 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gee, maybe you should have had these issues BEFORE you had children with him!!!
2007-12-29 00:45:24 · answer #8 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(shaking my head) and exactly WHY do you want to marry him????!!!!
2007-12-29 00:00:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋