How can I deal with this drinking issue?

Question

I don't drink as I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober about 14 months. I find that when I am around people drinking I get uncomfortable particularly if everyone is getting drunk or if I'm around people drinking for more than three days in a row. I don't like having alcohol in the house either and my husband's drinking makes me tense. I don't get "tempted" uncomfortable, just uncomfortable. However my husband happily drinks and thinks that I'm being a control freak for getting uptight about it. Like the other day he'd had 5 glasses of wine at a function and even when I said I would like him to stop he had another 2. He's also been drinking every day for the last 8 days including when we were on holiday with drinking family members and we got home and I thought yay, no alcohol today then he has a beer cause he's "thirsty". Am I a control freak? Should I be trying harder to accept the fact we live in a drinking culture? How can I sort my prob with husband and also not feel like a killjoy?

Answer 1

you husband is acting selfish by adding 2 more drinks after you mentioned it..
no you are not a control freak
it's unfortunate you feel tense in a drinking environment
that means you have not come to grips with your past and you forever feel bad about it until you bury it
i used to drink
7 days a week
for about 6 months when i turned 21
then i stopped
cold turkey
i also did not go to AA
though i do think some people need it
i for one do not like the concept
as it labels you for life
i still drink
a beer here or there
but i do not think i a marked alcoholic for life
i can go to a big boozing party
and it does not phase me
one bit
but in reality i do not go to such events
as i see no need
i have other avenues of social interaction
of which some require no alcohol what so ever ( nor is it recommended )
i understand i cannot change other people
just my self
and that's all i care about
if someone wants to drink them in to the ground
then that's their prerogative
i let them
i will not lecture them
i just won't hang with them
nor would i ever marry such a person
you have to look at yourself and see yourself as a good person and realize one drink is not a bad thing
this i contrary to AA doctrine
but then i do not believe in AA or RC or other person to person based help programs so much
i suspect you husband and you marriage have deeper issues that will in time unfold and create more stress

Answer 2

If this makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you should give him a break and leave for awhile. He seem to not respect your sobriety and that is a shame. Tell him while he's sober that you need to have respect and a peaceful sober environment around you. Not trying to be a kill joy, just want to be healthy. Call you in 6 months when he have become sober himself. He sounds as if he has a problem with drinking. If it wasn't something I had to have, for the sake of my mate I would give it up.

Answer 3

Stand your ground sometimes you have to cut off certian people places and things to acheive your goal,Birds of a feather flock together is what they say put the focus on self first and keep it there,Do you honey or you're sure to fail why? is he taking you around stuff like this? me personally i would'nt go where people are drinking if i'm trying to recover from this sickness.Talk to him when he's sober if he loves you then he'll respect how your feeling about this situation and no you are not a control freak if you look at it your are trying to help him with his demon.

Answer 4

You are not a control freak! Your husband needs to respect that you are a recovering alocohlic. He is totally dis-respecting you. You should ask him to start goint to AA meetings with you as a support system. By doing this, it may help him if he is willing. If not talk to your sponsor.

Answer 5

Talk to your support group about this. Don't bring it up to your husband, because he feels like you are controlling him, by telling him not to drink. That's like an order. It is unfortunate, but you have to be a little tolerant about this, just be happy you got over this bad habit.

Answer 6

Go back to your AA meetings.

Get a sponsor.

Read the book.

Work the steps.

Help another alcoholic.

Answer 7

If you're an alcoholic you should be going to AA then you could find the answer to that question... take it from me (a recovering alcoholic)!!!
Go to a meeting now!!!

Answer 8

AA meetings baby

Answer 9

on account which you do no longer p.c. to flow to the coach (which may be my first advice) at this element, i'm uncertain what you ought to do. that's a extreme situation, and not informing the coach could make others think of they could desire to get one loose bypass besides. i be attentive to that's a hard determination for you, yet enable me to recount a narrative my sister advised me in elementary terms some days in the past. perfect out of highschool interior the previous due Seventies, she grew to become into working at a extensive leisure park. She grew to become into working a curler coaster like experience, which went the different way up at extreme velocity. no one grew to become into to experience in the event that they did no longer meet the peak requirement. sooner or later, a guy who misplaced the two legs in Viet Nam got here up the long staircases to the experience. He did no longer use artififical legs, and quite used his hands for walking. This veteran had achieved an outstanding job in overcoming his wounds. besides the shown fact that, my sister had to disclaim him with the aid of height requirement. He grew to become into very indignant over that, and my sister felt undesirable approximately it for years. She seen the incident each and every time she observed wounded squaddies on the information. till now this summer time, besides the shown fact that, there grew to become right into a information tale wherein an Iraq veteran without legs misplaced his existence while he fell out of a curler coaster. My sister, besides the shown fact that, grew to become into flooded with relief at having made that complicated determination some time past. It drove homestead the element the Viet Nam veteran ought to easily as certainly have been killed on her experience. the reason I point out all that grew to become into on account which you look interior an identical subject my sister grew to become into. The complicated selection now ought to look painful, yet interior the long-term it ought to paintings out for the main suitable.

Answer 10

He should have more respect for you-sounds like he's a bit dependant himself, if he won't even respect your wishes.