she knows secrets that are dispensed like the three way pleasure pack from a well oiled condom machine inside the bathroom at the dankest truck stop in the entire greater Chicago area….
2007-12-28 14:32:40 · 8 answers · asked by turtle girl 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
i agree there are too many prepositional phrases, but i liked it. It made the secrets she knew, seem very nasty indeed.
2007-12-28 14:46:26 · update #1
That had to come from a MIckey Spillane wannabe... or it came from some kind of noir narrative.... lol... I can see bogey or joseph cotton have that roll off the tounge... well... if it was appropo re: era.
I liked it though - paints a seedy picture.
2007-12-28 23:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by Zipperhead 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, the use of the multitude of prepositional phrases makes this hard to read.
Knowing secrets does not necessarily mean dispensed, so your analogy is also a bit off. Using the descriptors for the condom machine and the truck stop only muddy the waters.
Perhaps....hmmmm
She knows secrets. She k nows the kinds of secrets which are like the 3 pck of condoms truckers get for the road heading into the wind out of chicago. Secrets that travel. Secrets that no one wants to know.....
2007-12-28 22:42:09 · answer #2 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like everything after "she knows secrets"
the "she knows secrets" part doesnt make sense.. really.
"she hears secrets as often as three way pleasure packs are despensed from a well oiled condom machine inside the bathroom.. etc.. etc.."
I dont know what you're goin for, but that one is easier to understand/makes more sense.
2007-12-28 22:38:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jazmen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never been great at grammar and that sort of thing (but cleaver all the same)...but what attracted me to your question is your avatar...Is that FRANKLIN...the cartoon? If so, he rocks!
2007-12-28 22:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by Gretel's Bread Crumbs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a veery descriptive sentence but the prep phrases make it kind of hard to understand!
2007-12-28 23:18:32 · answer #5 · answered by babybuttrfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats pretty good but it makes me wonder who oils a condom machine, and how did they get so proficient at it?
2007-12-28 22:36:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't see what was so great about it.
2007-12-28 22:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No
2007-12-28 22:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋