girl using me?

Question

I think i have a mate who is using me? the only reason she likes me is because when she calls me im stupid enough to listen to her problems for hours on end. yes before i liked her so i thought be listening to her would get us closer. i dread answering the phone now, but just out of not being rude i answer her. maybe im too "nice"

well i tried to ignore her for 2 months, till she rang me, me not realising its her i was shocked. Its just hard telling friends to back off, i should toughen up be a man

i can see where she is coming from, as i have done the same. she isnt a real friend since i havent told her anything about my life really, i wouldnt she wouldnt undrstand i tried it once didnt work. seems like the friendship is going on way. she is nice but i duno

irony is i havent called her once in like the last 6 months, she is the one calling me asking me to go out. and telling me about her men she wants to sleep with, or has slept with. what does she expect me to say yay?

Answer 1

shes not using you at all. Shes actually just really really happy that she finally found a guy who is willing to "just be her friend."

sucks huh?

because you probably never told her you liked her and never made a move she regards you as "safe" and as a great friend. (and not someone who's trying to hit on her and get in her pants)

You should feel special that she comes to you with her issues; you're the one she confides in.

Thats where guys go wrong. Becoming the "friend" and trying to get a girl to like you by listen to her issues doesn't make her like you, it just makes you an ear for problems. lol.

The only thing I can tell you to do is to flat out tell her you like her and see if she reciprocates the feelings.

But no you're definitely not "too nice" guys like you are hard to find, don't change.

Answer 2

It sounds like she is somewhat on the selfish side, what i suggest you do is tell her how you feel, in a nice manner of course, tell her that you want time spent with her to be good quality time with each other, if she cant accept that, than she is not ready for a relationship, she could very well be using you as someone to vent all her problems to, but sometimes people tend to over use that and take full advantage of it, also sounds like bit of an attention hog, let her know this will drive you away, and if she doesn't get the point after your explaining that to her, you may just want to ignore her calls.
Ultimately as the last resort, if all else fails, just give it to her stern and push yourself away from her, sometimes you do have to come off tough, especially on selfish types.

Answer 3

Yeah. I've been there and done that. Unfortunately, when this happens, the nice guy who ends up listening to all the problems never progresses past the 'lets be friends' stage. Of course, while you're busy just being friends, she's out getting busy with every bad boy she can get her hands on!

I would sit her down, tell her how you feel and let the chips fall where they may. If she pulls the 'lets be friends' deal, you know that it's time to move on.

Answer 4

do you go with her? i mean do you go out with her and do typical things like take her to the movies or shopping, you get it.

does she avoid you except when she has a problem? cause if she has nothing to do with you but tell you her problems then yes, all she wants you for is that.

but keep in mind she may not know that thats how she's coming off, let her know you feel used, explain YOUR problems, if she wants any part of you she'll listen and understand and make the effort along with you, to lighten up the relationship and love you as you do her, more.

Answer 5

I have a friend like that. When she calls, she never asks how I'm doing, just goes on about herself, non-stop. I feel bad for her, she lives alone, and has few others in her life. When I have heard enough, I just tell her that I have to use the restroom, and must get off the phone.

Answer 6

Yeah I'd say the girl is taking an advantage of U, If she only wants to talk about her and her problems!! I'd say first just test her and see if that's all she wants... bring up other sub... and ask her out to dinner or a movie and see how she reacts, And if she reacts badly DON'T answer the phone to her again..Good Luck Hun

Answer 7

I know this might sound like generic mumbo-jumbo, but hear me out. Most girls like to have somebody that will listen to their problems without judging them or jumping to conclucions. I wouldn't say that she's using you, because this really can make you guys closer because she'll know that she can trust you and that you'll listen. I think that you just be open and encourage her. Don't just hear what she has to say, really listen. Talk to her. It'll bring you guys closer and improve a few qualities in your relationship.

Answer 8

Have you come clean to her and tell her you like her and want to get serious with her. She might feel comfortable around you that a good thing. She might even be waiting for you to make a move. Girls like nice guys because we believe nice guys don't exist. So don't be rude. Just confront her about it.

Answer 9

maybe you should just let the phone ring once or twice and if u do answer tell her u cant talk very long because u have somewhere to be. if she calls everyday dont answer at all for a day or two and see what happens.

Answer 10

y do u think she's using u? just bcuz u listen to her? well if so stop bein a push over and dont answer the phone or let her listen to u for once or end the friendship if it gets worse.