I often wonder about the rate of divorce, and don't want to contribute to the statistics. I know that some people believe in marriage before moving in together, but heres the thing...
If you marry before moving in together then how do you really know hat someone is right for you?
What if they are annoying and have bad habbits that you didnt know about?
what if your not sexually compatible?
what if you have different taste in furniture?
what if they snore/kick or have night terrors in their sleep?
what if they have annoying relatives who visit all the time?
do you think its better to move in and have a trial run before the wedding, I mean, after all were talking about spending THE REST of your life with them?
I have had a few christian friends who have found out they cant stand their partner after the marriage and I dont want this to happen to me!
how do you know your compatable?
2007-12-28 13:21:33 · 9 answers · asked by psycgirl25 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After all said and done, you have to do what is best for you. I do know I was saved from this BIG mistake of marriage, with spending a couple of nights at his house. I kept dating him until I thought the time was right to have a romantic night together. While wearing the engagement ring and making wedding plans, I went to bed that night, woke up to feet that look like FREDDIE's KNIVES, snoring that could drown out a 747, a house that was freezing, because he didn't like a hot house. Sex was the worst I had ever experienced. He had the nerve to keep asking ... was it good? After not being able to sleep, after he thought he really ''PUT IT ON ME". I got out of bed, while he was cranking up his 747. Went to use his lap top and found where he go on all of the porn sites, date sites ect. I could not wait until the sun came up, so I could get my Fannie out of there. I later found out that he have a fetish for oral sex on everybody he dates. OOOHHH grosssss. Some times living together will save you from a life of disgust!
2007-12-28 13:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
What a great question but is there a great answer??? I think every person has there own opinion about this subject and you have to do what feels right for the both of you. Since you asked - I am a born again Christian and moved in with my husband before we were married (We lived together for a year). Did we learn a lot about each other? Yes, but 20 years later we are still learning things about each other- bottom line is marriage is work, kids bring a whole new set of problems that living together won't help! So if you want a trial run go for it- don't let anyone else tell you what your doing is wrong, if it's right for you it's RIGHT!
2007-12-28 14:47:25 · answer #2 · answered by Vapsjp 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What if you are annoying and have bad habits that he didn't know about?
What if you aren't as "hot" as he thought.
What if he doesn't like your taste in furniture.
What if you snore/kick or have night terrors in your sleep?
What if you have annoying relative who visit all the time?
When 2 people join their lives, of course, there will be conflicts. You accept the good and the bad; and just go on loving each other. It shouldn't be a deal breaker.
No one is perfect, and I personally have never known of any couples who found out they can't stand their partner after the wedding. Don't believe everything you hear.
2007-12-28 14:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by butterflylover 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's why you date a long, long time. You ask a lot of questions. Observe them in social settings, how do they treat other people? Ask their family and friends about them. Tell them your values, interests and plans for the future. Ask them theirs. Are they well educated? Career minded? What are their political views, spiritual views? Do they do drugs or drink? Do they want a partner in life or are they selfish and controlling? Are they good with their money or do they spend recklessly? Are they messy or neat? Do they want kids or not? Are they willing to help with the kids? Do they want to share the decisions? Ask for as much information about them as you can. When you first meet someone, you are only meeting their Representative. It takes a long time for the real person to come around.
Don't have sex until your wedding night. Sex is only for married people. It needs to be cultivated as the years go by. Make sure you are willing to commit your life to them before you vow to do so.
2007-12-28 13:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Date and get to know the person. If the sparks are still flying and you feel as though you love the guy, move in together. See if there is a lot of drama and if the person seems to change their personality. If it turns negative, leave.
You want to be with someone who is willing to bend with you and is open.
2007-12-28 13:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think that living with your partner before marriage is a super great idea (kinda a test drive on the road of life) because of all of the reason you listed & more.
For my husband & I we did everything by the year. A year dating, a year engaged before living together, a trail year of living together.
2007-12-28 13:27:28 · answer #6 · answered by justaskme 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Living together first is good. You get to see eachothers habits.... It is totally different when you live with some one...hence when they say, you shouldnt move in with best friends...it can ruin the relationship, well, same goes for men and women who are dating...
2007-12-28 13:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jen 2 · 2⤊ 4⤋
By getting to know that person. and you don't have to live with them to get to know them. Getting to know a person takes some time. Sometimes it takes years.
2007-12-28 13:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
you want a trial run before the wedding???
oh God...
2007-12-28 13:25:08 · answer #9 · answered by ˚despeяate housewife˚ 6 · 3⤊ 4⤋