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I seem to be upset a lot of the time. There's nothing going on with my family, I'm actually really happy with my family, I'm just upset when I'm at school and around a lot of people. I'm 14 years old and I have no friends, I used to have one best friend, but she started treating me like dirt in November, so that really brought down my self esteem because I remember how much more bright things used to be when I had her as a friend, I was more positive and happy, but now I just feel upset over little things. I'm starting to get anxious over little things (I already know that I have a bit of social anxiety) and sometimes I'll start thinking of anything random, but then I'll get this weird, sudden feeling that everyone hates me. I don't want to sound selfish, but sometimes I wonder why I have to be like this. I'm not even a mean person. I've always been quiet and friendly to all people, but I feel like nothing good is happening to me. I just want to be happy again>>

2007-12-28 12:58:56 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science Psychology

>>but it seems so hard. I feel worthless every since my friend left me, and I REALLY don't want to go to school after the holidays. I know I'm being nervous over one little thing, I just don't know... do you have any advice for me? I'd really appreciate some

2007-12-28 12:59:02 · update #1

19 answers

You can start by being friends with people from the internet to improve your ability to make friends and to spend the time.You can start with me.I'll be there when you need me.Just add me to contacts and we can chat sometimes.. :)

2007-12-28 13:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by Lost my everything.. 4 · 0 0

I understand how you are feeling right now as I have been through the same kind of thing. The first thing you need to know is that you are not alone, many other teenagers are feeling exactly the same way. Secondly you dont need friends that bring you down, I had a best friend who would go to any legnths to make sure everyone thought she was the prettiest, smartest, most popular girl even if it meant hurting people. Try making new friends at school, perhaps there is an after school club you can go to such as drama or netball to make new friends. And thirdly dont worry about the way you are feeling, your a teenager and you have hormones all over the place, its perfectly natural. If things dont improve perhaps try explaining the situation to your parents or a teacher that you trust. I hope things turn out well for you in the end.

2007-12-28 21:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by Louise 1 · 0 0

Dear Unhappy and don't know why Ann:

Don't be too hard on yourself, I think what you maybe experiencing are some heavy duty hormonal changes, changes that mean you are evolving from a girl child into a young woman. The down side to this time of change is that you enter an emotional minefield on an out of control roller coaster that has you standing calmly on the platform one moment just being your old self, and the next you burst into tears for no reason, or you want to fly into a rage, or your grumpy and don't know why, or you plummet into despair and anxiety and get upset over the littlest of things. Some of the female hormones that are awakening in your system can also cause a number of biological changes well - pubic hair growth, breast developement, as well as some internal organ developments.

This chemical change can all put you in a funk, and affect your mood, and outlook on life temporarily. You can feel "off". lethargic, dis-connected, out-of-sorts, picked on and shunned by those around you. This is (like your Mom would say) - "Just a Phase" all girls go thru, and she would be right. For some girls - this lasts only a few months, for others, it can linger on & on for a couple of years, (which is rarer).

While this unfortunately dosen't do much in the way of offering you any immediate relief, I suggest that you might be suffering from a temporary bout of depression/ anxiety disorder. I suggest that you have your Mom take you to your Pediatrician, and sit down with him, and tell him EVERYTHING that'seen going on in your life, - since you started feeling bad, (a copy of your typed Question from above), is a very good start; perhaps you are a candidate for a temporary treatment regimine of medication like praxil. prozac, wellbutrin, Topomax, Zoloft, Buspar, or a "cocktail"
of medications to both calm your anxieties, and to enhance your mood.

2007-12-28 21:58:40 · answer #3 · answered by jtrall25 4 · 0 0

honestly, the best way to stop feeling anxious is to focus outwards instead of inwards like you are doing now. You should definitely look into volunteering, in a hospital, daycare, homeless shelter, or maybe tutoring a student that needs help in something you are good at. Also, it really helps to keep a diary of your feelings and thoughts, writing things down helps to put things in perspective. Sometimes you can even try writing some poetry to express your thoughts. Some of our best poets were deep thinkers just like you! Also, you should think about getting a pet. Even a fish! It helps to take care of another living thing. Or a plant. Lastly, write a letter to that friend and express how you feel. They may be ready to give your friendship another try. 14 is a toughh age, but hang in there, It really does get better, I promise!

2007-12-28 21:12:12 · answer #4 · answered by blondambition 4 · 0 0

I'm 13 & this is happening/had happened to me. I know how you feel, but just remember happy times in your life, and meet some new people. There's a quote that i absolutely adore:
"If people want to hate you for no reason, let them. Because they're either insecure, jealous, or simply a *****."
Lol, that always makes me feel better. And its TRUE. People are so inconsiderate and rude most of the time these days, its horrible. Don't let them bring you down though, that's what they're going for. If you give in, they'll be so happy that it just won't stop. And about the school thing.. I feel the SAME way. I don't really know how do give you advice on this but all I know is to lift you're head up high w/ confidence and, what I do, fake a smile. And sometimes I get the feeling like, "I just wanna stay home with my family instead of going to school!" Once I get to school, though, it turns out to be a pretty good day. I don't read often because I don't like to but, i read a book one time and they said "Find people with goals like yours and stick with them." Now thats pretty hard for ME, because my goal is to be sucessful., but look good doing it. ha. and a lot of people in my school wanna just drop out. Life gets tough, but the outcome is always great if you are positive.

best of luck.. i know what its like =[ it sucks.

2007-12-28 21:09:13 · answer #5 · answered by KEEP YA HEAD UPP :] 3 · 1 0

It is hard to be your age to begin with and to lose a friend. I am sorry. Did you ever ask her why she was doing that to you? Sometimes, just a heart to heart talk helps. In order to have a friend, you need to be one too. You can call her and ask her what happened, it may be something so silly or just a misunderstanding. Join a club at school like the year book committee or play a sport if it's not too late for you to join. You are sure to make friends. Do they have choir? or Glee club? It's what we used to call it. Do you like to act? Try Drama, or an art class. I used to get myself lost in my art work, I worked out many a problem painting and creating wonderful ceramic pieces. I was a quiet person, but had many friends.It was hard being that age, I felt like no one really liked me either. It is just our own thoughts. Smile and maybe speak to a school counselor. They can sometimes help.

2007-12-28 21:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by Suzieq 4 · 0 0

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I can relate to your situation. I know that you feel uncomfortable making new friends, but in order to achieve the happiness you want, you have to step out of your comfort zone. You can't just complain about not having friends and sit in your room being mad at yourself because of it. You have to do something about it. Go out, with your mom, your cousins, anyone... put yourself out there to the world, you have nothing to be ashamed or embarrased about. Listen, people don't hate you, you are not very happy with yourself, but that doesn't mean others feel the same way about you. Try to work on your confidence- Love yourself, step out of your comfort zone, and welcome new experiences. This would make a really good New Year's resolution, what do you think? ;-)

2007-12-28 21:06:48 · answer #7 · answered by zion 1 · 1 0

Don't do drugs or alcohol...stay FARRR away from that.

Maybe you should join a sport or a club at school and meet people. Sometimes people won't approach you right away so you have to take it into your own hands and aproach them. Find someone who looks nice and introduce yourself. Complimenting their outfit or something always breaks the ice. I met my best friend at sleepaway camp and we're extremely tight even though she lives 45 miles away so maybe you should look into going to camp this summer. As for your anxiety, different methods work for different people. My sister is suffering from that as well and her way of solving it is carrying around this good luck charm and pictures of her friends and family. It works for her but you have to find something that works for you...there's a ton of books on anxiety at libraries so maybe you should go check them out.

Good luck and don't fret over little things so much, it's not worth it and you'll feel a lot better later on. =)

2007-12-28 21:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I know how you feel. I'm really sorry. It's a terrible feeling. I know its cliche, but maybe you should talk to your parents or someone you trust. Also, maybe you could start doing something out of school (I dont know if you already do) like an art class or dance. They are really fun and will give you a chance to make new friends. Good luck and feel better!

2007-12-28 21:04:56 · answer #9 · answered by tigerlily 2 · 0 0

First, you are not worthless, you are valuable and unique--own that! : )

Just because this one person did a dumb thing does not mean you are not a good person. It just means she isn't too bright.

Start to make new friends; talk to people, smile, make conversation. Show that you are someone they should be with by your confidence and friendly demeanor.

You need to get out and get some exercise, eat well (no junk or sugar) and do things that are good for you that make you happy.

This will pass, given your age, all teens go through this, it's normal.

2007-12-28 21:10:07 · answer #10 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0 0

Oh my. 14 is such a bad age because everything seems bigger than it really is. Believe me, this'll all pass. Seems like a trite response but find something to do outside the school environment - take on a hobby, volunteer somewhere that interests you, appreciate that the people who really know you - your family - think you're pretty great. And they know you the best.

2007-12-28 21:04:18 · answer #11 · answered by Camjade 1 · 0 0

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