A Poem comparing Enlightenment with the all-too brief result of orgasm. Comments?

Question

Solarity Banality

A taste of enlightenment which they call
Orgasms, annihilation of the ego as fall
Emotional and intellectual barriers unto

Direct experience of that under what they do,
The reality of vacuity of identity, frivolity,
Ambition, purpose, humanity, divinity,

In a word, as well as, gymnastic satisfaction
Of more subtle psychic attraction from base
Appearance, through intellectual friction

Warming emotional frisson to soul felt ace,
Number one needs that bleeds into two as
Two become none in the insight of each the

Other who be so constituted as to enjoy
The which they have enjoyed if only to fell as
Incapable of mental constituants of being the

Truth revealed of said success they do so enjoy
As it mirrors into momentary awareness that
Which ages of sages past knew by right

Of attainment in constancy, satisfaction
Beyond any limit imposed of surrounding
Circumstance, the which could but ignite

Said underlying reality to awareness dealing
With surrounding circumstance, penetrating
Both the all and none, as do stars in full flight.

Answer 1

You end two of your stanzas with articles, I've always found this practice annoying. The other thing is that this poem is all about *telling* the reader, I kept looking for an image, something solid to anchor on and there isn't anything. It's so loaded with abstraction, that if you took away the line breaks, one might not even know a poem existed here.

Answer 2

It works for me

Answer 3

ok