I know I should leave my husband. He isn't attracted to me anymore and has admitted that He would like to be on his own. We've been married for 7 years and all was happy and fine untill about a year ago he started paying less attention to me and when I asked him recently if he loves me he said he's not sure. When I almost left once he told me he loved me and he wanted me to stay but now it's back to the same ol ignoring me all the time routine. We have talked a million times it always ends up with him implying he doesn't want to be together anymore. I can't bring myself to walk out that door and start the rest of my life how do I start over how do I bring myself to leave?
2007-12-28 12:22:15 · 13 answers · asked by Mommy of 2) 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have a son together. The hard part is that I've been a stay at home wife for the last 4 years. I dont have any job experience and I dont have any family to go to.
2007-12-28 12:34:14 · update #1
No job No where to go, how could you ever put yourself in a position like that? bailing isnt an option for you and this isnt something you can even begin to blame on him. wish I could just skip through life with no worries and no plan, it would be a bit less stressful.
2007-12-28 13:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiya. I was in a similar situation with my ex but we weren't married. We also had a son and I was a stay at home. One day, I just went to see if I could get any housing and I got a house of my own - social housing but perfectly good. We stared with a few blankets and a camping gas stove. There were no luxuries. Slowly but surely things came together and my son and I look back on those years as some of the best we ever had! I am now married to a lovely man and have another child with him. Life on your own is bliss compared to being in a stressful relationship. You wont know just how bad its been until you are sitting quiet in your own space looking back! After I left, I went to university and got a degree and now I work full time but what you do with your new life will be entirely up to you. That is the joy of it. Remember you were fine before you met husband and you can be fine again! If he is making you feel worthless and unloved, then you have nothing to lose and all to gain. Good luck.
2007-12-28 20:42:36 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. I think you do need a break from each other so that you can reflect on things. If he still feels the same after the break then I say leave. Before you do that I would take on some of the above advice. Save, make friends, study/ get a job for now whiles living with him so that you can support your self when you leave. But after 7 years of marriage would he not support you? At least until you find your feet. Shouldn't he battle through this with you even if he doesn't want to be with you anymore, you are the mother to his child and you have been a looking after the home for both you. Also 7 years of mariage stands for something. He can't just suddenly not feel like it, it is out of order. Girl you need some straight answers from him not "implying". I am sorry to say but he sounds like a real jerk.
2007-12-28 20:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by Star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just for a moment pretend this....
what is going on right now in your life, this very day, is going to last for the rest of your life.
now that you've imagined that, what do you want to do?
either together you and the husband make some serious changes. or you walk away and start a new and improved life that will not be ignored by any man!
2007-12-28 20:30:31 · answer #4 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time he wanted to leave you should have tried to find you some work and put up some money. One painful lesson I've learned is that our spouse are not promised to use forever, yes it will hurt but you have to pray and stay strong and determine is your marriage worth fighting for cuz 9 times out of 10 he's feeling this way because of another women. Either way you need to look for some work cuz if he walk out that door you need to be able to support your child and by all means please file for spousal and child support.
2007-12-28 20:52:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it would be helpful to reach out to your female friends... ask them to the movies or lunch or shopping.. If ya don't have many friends... join the Y or a yoga class or something to make friends. Once you have a more supportive network of people that care about your welfare... then the transition will be easier for you.... though it's NEVER easy... it will be smoother and a bit easier. Living with a person that acts like you aren't worth their time of day is bound to tear down your sense of self and self-worth... you've gotta build it back up by spending more time with loving people... family, friends, co-workers... .anyone anywhere but not him... He may not mean to, but his attitude is sucking you dry. Best Wishes for the NEW YEAR.
2007-12-28 20:31:30 · answer #6 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it helps to have a lot of cash stashed. so when you do leave you can take it easy for a while a know all bills are paid. follow one of you dreams like enroll in school to learn a trade or go get that job you wanted. travel to somewhere new to live so no one knows your past and you can get a fresh start. you will meet and love agin and this time it may be better. think about you and do something you alsways wanted to do and don't let hiom hold you back act like you don't care eighter
2007-12-28 20:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek peace & pursue it ... But, if he's truly a danger to you
and your son, you must find a way to separate yourself from him...
A Women's shelter is better than what you have described
2007-12-28 20:40:13 · answer #8 · answered by Merry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex-husband said he loved me to and ignored me all the time didn't spend time with me either come to find out he was cheating on me . if he can't make his mind up just leave and don't communicate with him it makes it harder.
2007-12-28 20:35:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give both of you a break for a while, leave to your parents house for a while, until you two, especially him know what is best for you two
2007-12-28 20:30:15 · answer #10 · answered by natalia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋