As posted before, I hit my wife when she questioned me after a night out with some of my colleagues over a week ago. I am a dentist, practice owner ...educated, a professional. I am not some thug out on the street that takes pleasure in abusing his spouse. I feel horrible. I did right away. I don't have much time with my business and patients, and I wanted to resolve this on my own so our 2 children didn't get involved. I am having a very difficult time convincing my wife to trust me. She has moved back home from her sisters finally, but things are so different and she seems so distant. What can I do?
2007-12-28 12:03:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i would let her have some time to cool off and see what happens then. It will take time now for her to trust you, and not be afraid of you...do you think you have anger issues? are you over stressed?aybe you should take a long hard honest look at yourself and see if you need some counseling and tell her what you decide, seeing whereyou need to change may be a step in the right direction. Also, i am sure she may want to seek some couples counseling or some on her own due to what happened. Maybe you could learn some techniques as to what to do if anything ever escalades to this point again. I have been in her position, and your not a bad man, sometimes we dont think and we do stupid things,. She will never forget the issue, but she can begin forgiving, really forgiving with her heart and soul,.For the sake of the kids, start the processes as soon as possible,. Good luck and god bless you both. I understand, i have been in her shoes before.
2007-12-28 12:12:47 · answer #1 · answered by ilovedenverbroncos 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jack, Jack, Jack.....You know you commited the "cardinal sin." You know she has every right to be angry and the trust was broken. Remember, trust is earned, not something that is given freely. She is not going to trust you tommorrow, or even next month. You have to prove by your actions you are sorry and only time can prove to her you will NEVER treat her that way again. I think you need to quit talking to her about trusting you and start your journey on regaining it. My suggestion? Treat her like the woman she is. I personally think it is kiss butt time for you. Humbly let her know what she means to you and prove it every waking moment if you are really interested in staying with her. You scarred your relationship with her and that scar will always be there for you can't take back ever what you did. You say you don't have much time because you are a professional? I say you MAKE the time for her, she is worth it. Treat her the way when you first knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. Make time to take her out and I highly suggest this is a good time to surprise her with gifts and tell her often you love her. Give her time. You really wounded her emotionally more than you did physically. You are in hot water, and by the way...did she have a reason to question you? Keep it humble and honest.
2007-12-28 12:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sharon T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not calling or labeling you as an abuser but abusers come from all walks of life. Can you honestly say that it will never happen again?? I think it would be a good idea to seek professional help and perhaps couples therapy. Obviously, for whatever reason, she decided to come back home but that doesn't mean that things will be all rosey. You have a lot to prove. Therapy can be a good start.
2007-12-28 16:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by polkcindy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing more degrading then being hit by your spouse. I suppose you are surprised she is so distant, and you expected her to just move on. NO WAY! You need to go to anger management and stop drinking. You also need to ask her what she needs from you to help you move on from this. Domestic violence is such a bad scene.
You owe her so much more than what you think you do. This issue is far from over in her head and she may never get over it.
My dentist did free work after my ex busted my front teeth off. I was so humiliated. I was 7 months pregnant. He lied about it, so whatever you do, be honest and up front about this issue and never never hit her again.
2007-12-28 12:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by happydawg 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An apology will only go so far. She trusted you and by hitting her, you have broken that trust. Now you have to regain her trust. It's not going to be an over night thing. A marriage is built on trust so start rebuilding with everything you do.
2007-12-28 12:10:00 · answer #5 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My best mistake grow to be ever thinking that I had made any blunders. I discovered extra from the failings that the international observed as blunders than from each and all the rest blended. i does not exchange a single element. Love and advantages don
2016-11-25 23:42:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What had gotten into you that you hit your wife?? U should apologise to her and be nice to her for the rest of the years of your life!!u should feel guilty abt doin it! and u must've learnt a lesson on never hittin a woman so go n say sorry or just clean up the house and bring flowers and a nice card and nice dinner! I hope she'll love it!!
2007-12-28 12:15:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First let me just say I hope you learned your lesson to NEVER hit a women no matter what, next you deserve whatever she dish to you and you need to do everything in your power to make it up. You also have to give her time she seen a side of you she never seen before so be patient and suck up A LOT!
2007-12-28 12:10:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHOA buddy, you should not have laid a hand on her. You need to agree wholeheartedly to go to some serious therapy. My husband has a stressful job too ( training to be a surgeon) and he has never in his life ever thought about laying one finger on me. You have a violent streak in you and you need to figure out what the heck caused you to hit your wife. Personally, I would never go back to you either because chances are men do those things again. Very rarely are they isolated incidences. Good luck, I'm sorry that you did that to yourself. You must feel like shizt.
Source: RN
2007-12-28 12:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by Brittney 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I remember your first question. If she moved back,,that is a big plus. Don't push or pressure her to be the same. Is not going to happen for now. She is hurt. Time will heal that. You keep focusing on yourself. Please join a anger management program. She will be glad you did and proud that you are taking the necessary steps to avoid this happening ever again.
2007-12-28 12:12:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋