My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 1. He has been out of work for 4 months and were financially fine. In the last 4 weeks my husband has been upset like Ive done something wrong he wont kiss me, hug me have sex or anything. He says its not me and that hes not cheating and there is no one else. Am I crazy or is there more than his manhood that is hurt and hes not telling me everything.
2007-12-28 11:40:53 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hes in a rut. give him a little space, it will be ok. if he didnt love u he would be getting a divorce i'm sure. in marriage, there will be rocks thrown in ur way, but its a matter of getting around that. i think ya'll will be ok. just dont be pushy or anything.
2007-12-28 11:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be under a huge amount of stress if I'd been out of work for 4 months with no income. Guys identify who they are by the work they do and he's just dangling there with nothing solid right now. I can totally see why he's not feeling up to being 'normal'.
Love shifts and changes and grows. Expect it to be something always in flux, but not always to be passion.
Guys don't always reveal their feelings because that opens them up as a target, so he's not going to talk like a woman does (we're trained to talk about everything, it's how we deal with stuff). Just back him up on what he need to do, and don't put more stress on him. What he's going through is completely normal for the circumstances.
2007-12-28 11:49:26 · answer #2 · answered by Elaine M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are strange creatures. If he is out of work, even if you're doing ok financially, he probably feels like he is unable to provide for his family. This probably makes him depressed, which might make him act distant and disinterested. I know you mean well, and obviously are concerned, but constantly asking him what's wrong or if there is another woman is probably aggravating how he's feeling. So just try to be supportive, encourage him to keep looking for work and to keep his spirits up, remind him that your bills are getting paid, etc so he should just focus on getting another job instead of not having a job. Good luck...
2007-12-28 11:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by Kitten Toes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men suffer terribly from depression when they are not meeting their own expectations. You are not crazy and neither is he. It's a truly normal problem. Just be patient and supportive. He needs to be touched...and told that he is loved. Don't push right now. If it continues past two months... tell him that you need help from him... and get counseling if you can find some. If you can't afford it... come back and talk to me. Good luck in the new year.
2007-12-28 11:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by Gina C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't smother a man in this time. Give him some space, but not too much. He wants to know you are there, but not all over him. Not working for a while is probably getting to him. Even though you're financially fine, he's probably thinking of the future.
2007-12-28 11:48:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert but it sounds like a case of not feeling to good about not working and helping out ... Most real men will eventually feel this way about themselves from the loss of the job .... A man who judges his self worth this way will try to find another job , if he doesn't , something else is going on and you need an answer from him as to what it is ... if that means counseling then so be it ... Good Luck..........
2007-12-28 11:51:11 · answer #6 · answered by Noah's Ark 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible he is cheating but I seriously doubt it. It seems to me that he is having a problem with being out of work. You may not need the money at this point but he most likely feels it is his responsibility to provide for you and take care of you. So yes it is a man thing and he may be feeling inadequate at this time. Try to talk to him and reassure him that everything is alright.
2007-12-28 11:46:50 · answer #7 · answered by 70RR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure. My husband was like that to me the last 4 yrs and 7 months of our marriage. He just starting changing recently when I fell for someone else and he doesn't know I fell for someone else. Weird, but no wonder I fell for someone else. I was bascially all by myself all this time. I don't know why he was like that and now he all of a sudden changed.
2007-12-28 11:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree---Guys tend to get depressed if they aren't making enough money (or any).
I think that once he's back to work things will get better. They say the most common cause of Divorce is money troubles. I don't think he's cheating or falling out of love with you.
Hang in there
2007-12-28 11:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by littlelady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it also could be that he still haven't found work, but your financially have been fine. He had a lot on his mind that he is not sharing, give him time to clear his head, I really believe that he want a job and nothing is happening at this time.
2007-12-28 11:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by dbrh_soto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the main causes of depression in men is unemployment, or the feeling that they aren't providing for their wife and/or family. If his withdrawl like behaviors existed before he lost his job, I would say there might be something else there. If not, then wait until he hopefully finds a new job and see if his behavior changes.
2007-12-28 11:45:35 · answer #11 · answered by JMurph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋