Married couples and sex???

Question

I have been married for almost 11 years, and we have ten year old twins.... I only feel like having sex about 3 or 4 times per week, but my husband wants it every night..... sometimes twice a night!!! He thinks I am being frigid, and I think he needs anti-viagra....... how often do most married couples engage in sex, and are we doomed ?????

Answer 1

Sweetheart,
After 11 years and a couple kids,,,, your doing good. He is just being a guy. Just a suggestion but try to make it funny rather than a problem when you don't feel like making love. Also, every once in a while put some candles or some wine out....... I know you most likely do that already....
You dont sound Fridig.
Oldguy

Answer 2

First off, frigidity is a low level of sexual desire and interest manifested by a failure to initiate or be responsive to a partner's initiation of sexual activity. This does not seem to be the case if you are responsive 3-4 a week. Sometimes, rather than being inhibited, there may simply be a discrepancy in sexual interest levels between two partners, both of whom have interest levels within the normal range-which appears to be the case.

There is no "normal" married couple frequency of sex. It's not abnormal that you want to 3-4 times/wk, nor is ir abnormal he wants it every day.

You're going to have to reach an understanding here. Having sex out of "duty" is not good. If he knew it was "duty", he'd probably be turned off.

Perhaps you can have a discussion and hopefully he will realize that your drives are different. Perhaps you can be more willing to be receptive--I for one may not feel like it, but when the foreplay starts-done properly, suddenly I am in the mood, and my hubby is the same way.

No, you're not doomed. You just need to get on the same page.

Answer 3

No, you are not doomed. Your husband has one hell of a sex drive. 3-4 times a week is most men's dream. I'm assuming that you are probably in your thirties. There is nothing wrong with your sex drive, you are far from frigid to be wanting sex as much as you do with 10 year old twins. If you are truly worried about it, there is a female form of viagra - I'm not certain of it's name, but it will increase your drive that maybe it would help.

Answer 4

Nope you aren't doomed. We have hot and cold periods. We will go a week with no sex and then a few weeks that we have sex every night and sometimes in the morning. We have 4 kids and the youngest is 2. It's normal to only have it 3-4 times a week. I try to accommodate him on the no sex week with other activities. We even went and bought him a toy for days when I need to "recover".

Answer 5

Honey with 10 year old twins he should be grateful you even have the energy to want it even once a week. My husband and I have two kids under 7 and the plain truth is, mommies just get tired. It doesn't mean you aren't in love or don't still desire your husband and I promise you are not doomed. Every married couple with kids are like this. You just need to come to a happy medium about how often you do it. Lots of things can get in the way of ruining the mood too, so talk about what you need to get in the mood--from sending the kids to the grandparents or him helping you out with the dishes!

Answer 6

Everyone has a differant sex drive. My bf and I are the opposite...I would prefer it nightly and he is happy with 3 times a week. It's frustrating sometimes, but you can work thru it. If you were not having sex at all...if you had not had sex since you had your ten year old twins, then MAYBE I would say you were frigid. Its just a differance in sex drives...introduce your hubby to rosy palm a few nights a week and he should be happy your having sex the other 3 or 4 nights a week. :)

Answer 7

I think the man should say fairly early in the day YOU'RE IN FOR IT TONIGHT LUVVY! and slap her on the bottom, and then at night she is expecting something and is prepared. Then the man must go through with it no matter that he is then tired. For a woman to get into bed and not know till the man starts doing it, is really annoying. Because, after all, he may have known all day or for a few hours that he is going to do it and the woman only knows for a few seconds. If the woman knows ahead, she can have a shower, and put on nice perfume and get heated up. But to have a shower every single night before bed and put on a nice nightie and spray perfume, just in case and nothing happens, then it is frustrating. ,You can say OH WELL, SHE CAN INITIATE IT CAN'T SHE? Well, some men worry that WHAT IF SHE IS INITIATING IT AND I AM NOT THERE? WILL SHE JUST DO IT WITH THE POSTMAN OR MILKMAN? So women have to pretend they only want it because the man has aroused them with his attractiveness.

Answer 8

LOL to the anti viagara....I suppose you should consider yourself lucky he still wants to have sex so often after being married for so long and having 10 year old twins.....find a compromise for the two of you....every couple is different in terms of the frequency of sex.....you just have to find a good balance for the two of you that makes you both satisfied.

Answer 9

Frigid !! Oh My !! I don't think so.

I would die if my wife would have sex with me 3-4 X a week. I have problems getting her to have sex more than once a month and we've gone several months of no sex and mind you, she is 37 and I'm 36. We do have young kids (4 & 7), but still, its rediculous and unacceptable and its really pushing me to "find someone else". For now, I turn to porn and solo satisfaction.

Answer 10

3 to 4 times a week