should I keep my baby?

Question

I know this is the worst place to ask advice on a serious matter like this but I am so lost I don't know what else to do. I have an adoption all set up for my child. I am 17 years old and I live with the father and we are very close. My reasons for adoption was finance- which there are programs to help and now both parents are willing to help which they weren't before. My other reason was that I wanted to go to college and be set up before we had children but that doesn't seem important now. I am having this baby in one month so I need to decide fast. Any suggestions for me?

I already have parents chose- which is my boyfriends sister and husband but they can have children and they said if we choose to keep him in the end they will support us.

Answer 1

if you live with the babys father and are really close then you should keep the baby! Cause then you give it up for adoption and later on in life or even soon after you are going to end up regreting it. As for college, some colleges have daycares if not then relatives can babysit. As for finances, if the father isnt going to college then he can go out and look for a better job than what he has now if he has one. I know what your going through I went through the same thing and Im still going through it now, I've been dealing with this for 4 years I got pregnant at 14 and i already have 3 kids Im starting college in the fall my parents dont live here in the same town my husbands parents dont live here in town either and we are doing great. Though there will be ups and downs you will manage.

Answer 2

Well, raising a child is VERY difficult while going to college, but it can and has been done. Have you already met with the adoptive parents? Are they already planning the nursery? It seems that alot of people will be affected by this decision.

I wish you the best of luck in your decision. I believe that if I were in your shoes and had already promised the child to a childless couple, I would still give the child up for adoption. If there wasn't anything set in stone, I would probably keep the baby.

In your case, I would keep my baby. If they are supportive, it sounds like you will have a strong foundation to build your family on, and you will also get the help you need to raise your baby, and you can achieve your life goals.

Answer 3

This is hard, and in the end will be your decision. But I can only give you some insight, I'm 17 as well. and 35(tomorrow) weeks pregnant. As hard as it will be to go to college, you can do it. Finances and being "set" isn't everything. Love means more than money. I'm not sure your situation with your parents, and his. But mine are being very supportive. Support is the best thing a teen parent can have. I'd say No for the adoption, but because of who you'd give your child to, it makes it more difficult.

I thought of adoption as well, never went through with going to agencies, but because I was having second thoughts about it, and always going back and forth with that decision, I chose to keep my daughter, and raise her alone without her father.

this is an extremely HUGE decision. You may regret it one day, you may not, you'll never know.

I suggest you keep the baby if you're having second thoughts.

Answer 4

This has got to be one of the most tough decisions a parent would have to make. Me, personally I could NOT go on living the rest of my life knowing I gave up my OWN child. And yes you are right there are plenty of programs out there that you'd qualify for. Your only 17, you'd get assistance. There are SO many moms out there that have had child, and go to college. Anything is possible. You could do some online school for a little bit, until the baby is older. I think you might regret putting baby up for adoption. What do your parents think? You, and your boyfriend will have to talk this over, and think about all the consequences..obviously. Good Luck. I really hope you make the right decision.

Answer 5

Please give your child the chance to grow with you. Keep your baby. I can tell you from experience that it is difficult to be young and have a child. My first child was born when I was 19. I was married at the time, but not really ready to be a parent. I kept my son and he is the best thing in my life. We had my second son a few years later. Life can be hard, but remember that there are places to go for help whether it's for money or baby supplies, etc. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your parents when you need it. They may not be fond of the idea, but ultimately, they love you and your baby. And don't feel like your life is over because you have a baby. I didn't let it stop me. I am starting graduate school in the fall. You have been blessed. Don't throw that blessing away.

Answer 6

Wow.... I know this has got to be a hard decission for you but if you are not 100% sure that adoption is right for you then I wouldn't do it. You have support from both sides of the family. If you do this and are not absolutely sure then you will regret it. And you said that you have the adopted parents all set up...I know part of you must worry that you will be hurting them...BUt you can't worry about that as much as what is best for the baby and if you feel that you can do this then do it...College is something that you can still do or do later on. The truth is the decisions we make sometimes change our plans and the decission (or accident) that happened has changed yours and God has a purpose for you...Your boyfriend....your baby and that might just be for ya'll to be a family. Do what you feel is right though....Go with your heart.

Answer 7

Either way, you will still be close with the baby. But like I have told you before, do not base this decision on anyone other than yourself. If you do, you WILL live to regret it, and you will hold resentment toward the ones who influenced your decision. Leave EVERYONE out of the decision, and ask YOURSELF, and yourself alone this one question....will you be able to care for this child the way it deserves to be cared for? After you answer this, bring in the drinking problem that your bf/fiance had and what could potentially become of this. Then think of how this will affect the child. Also, think of his immature ways and how your relationship is with this. You are right to think about your education before having a child. But you cannot depend on your parents or anyone else to help you care for the child....not even financially. The way that always ends up is they get tired of helping and doing and then they make you face it head on bc they see that you are now a grown woman with responsibilities and you have to face them one way or another. You cannot depend on anyone other than yourself hun. Do what is in the best interest for the baby, not bc of the feelings you have. Your perception of having and raising a baby is a lot different than it is in actual reality. It is HARD!!! I was a single mother for years....I have been there and I know how it is and how things like your situation work. Put your feelings and heartache aside and do what is in the best interest of your child. Even if you do adopt it to your sis, you have what many adoptive parents do not....the ability to watch your child grow and develop. You will still be there throughout his/her life either way.

Answer 8

no matter what everyone else says or suggests this is ur choice! Yes you should keep the baby, you can go to college and take care of a baby. Mine is due in aug and I am a full time student, you can do it. Even though you have people that want to adopt it, this is your child,, your very first one. Like I said this is your decision! Dont let anyone tell you what to do, do whats right in your mind!
Good luck with whatever you choose!

Answer 9

At this point, any decision you make is going to be hard. I know two people who had kids when they were 15 and 16, and both of them finished high school and graduated from college (with the help and support of family of course). Needless to say, it will definitely have to be a personal decision.

If you can live with the fact that another person is raising your child and you know that they can provide your child with a better home, then maybe you should go that route. But if you give birth to that child and look into its eyes, and know that you couldn't imagine spending one day without him or her, then maybe you should keep that baby. Either way, college is still an option.

Good luck to you in your decision.

Patricia Godfrey

Answer 10

Hi there...

Please look at keeping your baby... There are so many people who would love to be in your shoes by being pregnant and all, you can still give your child the best future, and knowing that you have a beautiful child whom your going to enjoy its live with, instead of putting up for adoption, and not having any thing to do with him or her, would proberly make you feel real stink... PLease look at night classes, say your partner goes to work then you stay home with the child and so forth, maybe you could get a little job where you could be pushing the pram around too???

Good Luck..