Do you like my Poem? Please read.?

Question

Under the gruesome night and dead stars,
Let the torture begin to set.
Under the lifeless clouds and dark moon,
Let the truth begin to surface.

The crimson cracks shall begin to bulge,
My eyes will roll back into my head.
My eyelashes plucked out one by one,
The blood trickeling down my cheek bones.

I will tug at my madded up hair,
Pulling each strand out carefully.
From the back of my head to the front,
A throbbing sensation will start.

My throat will run hot and start to burn,
As a coat of bile forms inside.
My torso rapidly jerks foward,
And a liquid spews out of my mouth.

I will skin my old, dry, itching flesh,
From my bleeding ears to my feet.
Carved down to reveal the thin, white bone,
Now you see me stripped down to the core.

With my aching body, do you now see?
I've stripped myself down to the bone.
All just for you, it's what you want.
Now will you finally love me?

Under the gruesome night and dead stars,
Let the torture begin to set.
Under the lifeless clouds and dark moon,
Let the truth begin to surface.

Answer 1

Sounds like a traumatic experience!
These lines certainly leave a certain lasting taste in my mouth too:

My torso rapidly jerks foward,
And a liquid spews out of my mouth

rectify this: 'blood trickeling' and 'foward'

Quite a touching dark poem but with a silver lining:

'Let the truth begin to surface'

good luck

Answer 2

Ok, re-reading it, I now realize what was trying to break through your art. Good job! (I take back what I said..Sorry!)

Answer 3

life and love, two things that get you all the time.