i am getting a divorce currently and he cheated on me 3 times before i filed the papers so i decided to cheat on him after i filed the papers but the thing is we still talk and he sends me pics of him and says he knows he can still have sex with me if he wants and wants to when he comes home (hes in kuwait for a few months) and the thing to it is i want to still have sex with him again even after all the stuff he has put me through which was hell! does this make me a sick person or am i just confused whats going on!
2007-12-28 09:32:14 · 26 answers · asked by sum_ting_shy_knee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well the 1st time he cheated he didnt tell me till 4 mos later and said he did it bc he thought i was cheating he would never believe me then i found out about another last week and then he admited about letting some girl suck his dick 8 mos ago bc he really thought we were over. i never cheated on him though not till after he left for kuwait and i filed i am so confused but i know i can not go back to him but i am scared i will!
2007-12-28 09:47:32 · update #1
I think that you should take a step back from the situation. From what you have posted, he is not talking about reconciling your marriage. He is only talking about sex. You obviously still have feelings for him. Sex and emotion are two separate issues. If you cannot separate them you are going to set yourself up for a world of heartache again.
2007-12-28 09:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by zchi6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing wrong with the way you are thinking... My ex husband and I had a nasty divorce that took about a year to be finalized. We'd been seperated about 3 months and he calls me one day, happened to be on a good day, we started talking, then he came over and we had sex... it was wierd afterwards.. he was like do i stay or go? Of course, i had him leave.. but then a few days later again.. We did it like once a week, for a few months... sometimes more often.. but then, it was like it just fizzled out and soon our divorce was finalized... We never talked abotu court, we never talked abotu money.. it was just sex.. period. And then our divorce was finalized and we never did it again... Guess that was our closure... Do what you think is right, decide if you can keep your emotions out of it... think about it though, because he did cheat on you, there is a reason you are getting divorced... if you can keep the emotions out of it, I'd say go for it, if not... maybe you better reconsider.
2007-12-28 17:47:34 · answer #2 · answered by Sugar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you love him that's all. How did you find out he cheated on you? Did he admit it? If so, at least he came clean and shared with you what happened. It's also normal to cheat once you found out your partner cheats. It sounds like you still love him.. but these army men who travel all the time are just not that stable.. and it tears so many relationships apart. Either he has to change careers, or you will have to move on. He cannot deal with the distance and that is probably why he cheats.
2007-12-28 17:36:46 · answer #3 · answered by Enigma 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You still have sex with him and want him more than ever because guess what in a way you aren't married anymore. If you never would have gotten married you probably would have still be in love and happy. Marriage even destroys soul mates. Maybe once you get divorced you can be together again. Who knows. Good luck. Whatever you do if you are ever lucky enough to fall in love DON'T EVER GET MARRIED AGAIN!!!!
2007-12-28 18:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too hard on yourself. You are right; you really are confused and vulnerable right now. It's really important though for you to remember that you're a whole person - all by yourself. The word for it is integrity. It is often used to describe the attributes of honesty or reliability. In this case it means that you are a whole person, but you run the risk of compromising your integrity if you decide to give into your feelings of fear and vulnerability when your husband gets back to the States.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to change your phone number and email address. Do not give it to him or his friends. Focus on cultivating your own interests, your body (good food, rest, and exercise), and your career. Use this transition as an opportunity to find your vulnerabilities, name them, own them, and resolve to maintain your integrity. Your friends and family will be proud of you for taking such good care of yourself and more importantly, you'll be able to tell yourself everyday that you're doing a great job as a good human being. I wish you the best.
2007-12-28 17:40:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've both cheated on each other and now you're divorcing him. Still having sex with him after this makes you both appear a bit immoral. It would be better to make a clean cut and get away from each other. I hope neither of you gets into another relationship until you learn the meaning of fidelity.
2007-12-28 17:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you crazy? He has put you through hell! He is too sure of himself! Dump him and move on. Don't keep in touch any more....your marriage is over and let the divorce prove it. You may still be attracted to him....but is it worth all the pain? I would force him to leave me alone if I was you.
2007-12-28 17:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by Chatterbox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a sick person. Perhaps you are confused and co dependent. Learn to love yourself and you will realize that you are better and worth more than the abuse you put up with. I am a lot older than you and believe me that even though the sex with him may be great, you will find that again and it will most likely be better because trust and respect will be apart of it. Good luck
2007-12-28 17:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by martinmartinjm 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you loved a guy, he cheated on you, not once but 3 times.... you THOUGHT at the time your only solution was to cheat on him and divorce him.....BUT, deep down, you kept the love for him---or the lust.... he's been away in Kuwait for a while and you miss him..... do nothing until he DOES come home... maybe you can date again, maybe you can even rekindle your relationship, HOWEVER, if you begin to rekindle it, make sure he knows that CHEATING is not acceptible to you EVER.... it's tough to forget that you loved someone once.... but even tougher to get burned twice so make SURE you can trust him TOTALLY should you start up again when he gets home before SIGNING ANYTHING LEGAL.
2007-12-28 17:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by LittleBarb 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You still love him. Even though you are both adulterers, it sounds like you still love each other. When he gets back from Kuwait, both of you should see the same counselor. He will help you to be less confused than you are now.
2007-12-28 17:37:57 · answer #10 · answered by CrG 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋