My husband has been in Korea (Air Force) since Sept 07. We have been married for seven years and he calls me the weekend before Thanksgiving to say he has never loved me, but got married too young and felt obligated to marry me. He says I have changed. Well, actually I have changed, for the better. Who would want to stay the same person forever? I have loved him with all my heart, giving to him what he needed (or so I thought). He has been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan too at eight month stints each and is now dealing with a bit of PTSD. As far as I know we have both been 100% faithful. I have asked him if there is anyone else in Korea and he said no, but that there are some "attractive" girls over there that he looks at. (Hearing this pierced my heart!) Anyway, he has shut off emotionally, is gone physically, and when I ask to talk to him (once a week) he says, "what do you need to talk about?" I mean, What the heck? What happened? Please- give me some answers.
2007-12-28 09:17:10 · 8 answers · asked by keginett 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could feel very painful to be in your shoes at this time. You have to stop hurting because of this "separation". One way would be to focus on other areas of your life, that is separate from your relationship with your husband.
It is very hard in the beginning, but still you must try and restrain your thoughts from dwelling on this relationship. The less you think about this, the less will be your pain and gradually you will see yourself as you were before your marriage, free of pain. You can do this only through "action" - by doing things that will occupy your mind with other thoughts.
It is possible that your husband himself needs this time off to recover his own inner strength. Do not worry about "other" women. In any case with him being so far away you really have no control over this issue. Just trust in God and trust in your husband's good judgment.
When he finally returns he should find a different woman, stronger and self reliant. A woman who is self confident about her own self worth with absolutely no sign of being dependent on him, other than for a nurturing companionship.
2007-12-28 09:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by Mocha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am was in the military and I must say that is hard to be on deployment and away from your family. When you are over there all types of crazy things run through head and sometime you say things that you don't mean. There doesn't have to be someone else to have these feelings. You have to keep in mind that some of these men are taking their rings off as soon as they get on the plane to go over there. This really makes it hard for the good guys. No one over there has their spouses around so I am pretty sure that you can imagine what goes on. I think you need to not make any rash decisions and just wait until your guy comes home to address all issues that may have come up while he was gone. These guys don't come back the same person they left as. so just bear with him now and try to handle and get to the bottom of it when he returns. In the meantime get a hobby to keep your mind off the negative.
Marriage is about working it out and staying with each other through thick and thin. What makes your marriage stronger is how well you keep it together when things get rough. Please just be patient so you can get to the bottom of things and find out whats really going on.
2007-12-28 12:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by yatta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
100% faithful?!?!? You can only speak for yourself. All the married men I have met in my 40 years on this earth cheat!!! You need to learn the facts of life:
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me if you want to
hear the truth. You can ask me anything. I don't lie unlike
the other answers you will get.
2007-12-28 10:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing that he did have an affair with someone over in Korea.....being that he has shut off emotionally, gone physically and doesn't want to talk.....
2007-12-28 09:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please. You don't need that man. There are so many more to choose from. I know it's hard to just abruptly think of a different life that what you have become accustomed to, but, things happen for a reason and it's probably for the better. Just continue to live life to the fullest and forgive him. And know that it was for the best.
2007-12-28 09:27:36 · answer #5 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's having emotional problems from the war and thinks you shouldn't have to deal with his issues, so he's pushing you away. Try your best to get him to talk and hopefully you two can work things out. Good Luck!
2007-12-28 09:23:38 · answer #6 · answered by peaches6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is dating someone there. Coz when someone finds someone else they change their attitude and sound very far off.
2007-12-28 09:46:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well......since he said there were attractive women over there, you can assume that........
2007-12-28 09:55:03 · answer #8 · answered by ME 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋