How do you handle your anger?

Question

do you think it is wise to hold back anger. I honestly don't. If someone pisses you off, show it. Especially when someone hurts my pride;I get violent. I've tried to hold back or walk away, but I start thinking about it later and am even more pissed and regret that I didn't blow up at the other person. So how doyou handle your temper

Answer 1

I used to be notorious for my explosive temper. I would throw things, hit things and other violent reactions. My dad and mom took me to the hospital for numerous broken hands and repaired a lot of holes in the walls. Even as an adult my temper was well documented with children's services. When my oldest daughter graduated a group of us went out for dessert and sodas. The server dumped a drink down my back. Everyone at the table waited for the explosion. I just calmly asked, "can I get my dessert on a plate please?" The explosion never came and everybody couldn't believe it. You ask how this happened? I started journaling. I put down all my feelings, the events of the day, what I would like to do to whoever. It doesn't have to make sense. It just has to let me get my emotions, whatever they are, out. That way I don't build up rage, or anger and I don't make a fool of myself in public or in front of friends or neighbors. I also write unsent letters. If someone pisses me off, I write them a letter. I put down everything they said, did, and how I felt and I get it out of my system and I feel better and I don't send the letter and then everything is fine.

Answer 2

i agree with you to an extent . i do not think it is wise to bottle up your anger and keep it all inside. that will eventually lead to possible psychological issues . But i also do not think it wise to lash out physically on another person. violence is not the answer. it only leads to more violence. Instead i think you should find another way to let your fustrations,emotions, stress, etc. You could try excercise, karate, writing, crying,cleaning, etc. Anything to lay your feelings out on a table and deal with them. Once you have cooled down, you can try and find a solution like talking it out.
And as for me , i will be honest and say that i do not handle my anger in the best of ways, but im working on it. What i do is , I throw everything i see onto the floor until im satisfied. And then i clean it all back up to cool myself down.But now , i write down everything im feeling in a little composition book i have.
Everybody has there different ways to deal. Some wiser than others . All i ask is that everyone try and improve theirselves day by day. It will make the world a better place.

Answer 3

I don't have feelings of anger, really. I do have feelings of frustration, and believe anger is a response to a perceived threat Anger is a exercise in futility, and provides no positive results. When someone says something hurtful to me, I ask them why the feel that way. And "pride", no one can threaten you pride if you truly believe in your values. Arguments are totally non productive Just accept that you are not perfect, and approach your life experiences with acceptance. You can always change your peer group, and no response to a hurtful insult is suitable.

Answer 4

It used to be believed that the best way to deal with anger was to find a non destructive way to vent, but more recent research has shown that while this may feel good in the moment it actually does not resolve the feelings of anger.

Based on personal experience, and from what Ive read in more recent literature, the best way to deal with anger is to learn how to DE-ESCALATE it using thoughtful reasoning. If you find yourself in the heat of the moment and become too flustered by the intensity of the emotion, it is best to remove yourself from the situation and have a cool down period until your thinking becomes clearer.

There are a number of ways to go about improving the ability of de-escalating anger. One way is to challenge any self defeating beliefs you have that add fuel to your anger. An example of a self defeating belief of this type is thinking that people absolutely MUST always be kind to you. And when others fall short of this expectation they are bad people who deserve to be judged and condemned. Psychologist, Albert Ellis writes about how self defeating beliefs such as these effect how we feel and behave and explains how to challenge them in a rational manner.

Another way to reduce frustration levels and de-escalate anger is by improving the ability to put your feelings to words. This can help you think through your feelings more effectively as well as improve your communication skills.

Yet another way is by improving empathy skills, or the ability to understand the other persons inner experience.

Much of what Ive learned concerning de-escalating anger has come from books and I can offer a short book list that gave me much of the information necessary in improving this ability:

'Anger: How To Live With And Without It' by Albert Ellis
'How To Have That Difficult Conversation Youve Been Avoiding' by Henry Cloud
'Nasty People' by Jay Carter
'Emotional Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman

Answer 5

Don't listen to him. It is bad for yourself to bottle anger. Go outside where nobody is and scream. then get a doll you don't want anymore and beat it up.

Answer 6

Well...I like to vent...but not always at anyone...in other words I walk away find a private place and scream outloud. It works for me...d/k weather it'd work for you...try it...that way no one gets hurt by your rage and you can say anything you care to. PEACE!

Answer 7

I keep it locked up, i've never shown anyone my anger before.

Answer 8

i vent if i can but, it helps a lot to think about what made me angry. it helps to think about it this way, the person is not worth getting upset over. life is to short to spend in a negative exercise. can you make it into a rediculous situation? take into account who the person is who made you mad (in your mind, picture them as a rediculous, pathetic loser).
if you take immediate action you may say or do something you will regret later.
what if, while being violent, you are arrested. they have provoked you into being punished while they are not. THEY WON.

Answer 9

I control it at all times. It serves me, not the other way round.

Answer 10

I pray for peace of mind. It works.