I know this adult guy friend who likes spending time with this girl.
She doesn't like her real Dad and he's basically M.I.A. in her life.
Her Mom knows this guy and seems to trust him in her life.
Sometimes he will take her shopping, to a movie or just simple fun stuff a girl her age likes.
She enjoys spending time with him because he always spoils her.
Since it's a small town, I just don't want others to talk and think something wierd is going on with the two.
I would hate to see either one of them to get a bad reputation.
Some will think the worst since they know she is not her daughter.
Do you think there is anything to really be concerned with there?
2007-12-28 09:08:41 · 18 answers · asked by Kari 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Yes, it's inappropriate for a man to be "friends" with a 12 year old girl. If the boundaries are clear and he's being a father-figure and the mother is keeping and eye on the two, that would be different. But they can't be friends and it be "appropriate". I'd be very wary of his intentions.
But personally, I have 2 young daughters and I'd be very worried about a grown man taking some interest in my girls like that...
2007-12-28 09:15:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Totally not OK. How can anyone make sure he's not molesting her? What good can it be making to her by spoiling her taking her shopping? If it were his interest to be a "father" he'd be also aware of her school activities and spend time with her AND her mom as a trio even though he doesn't dated her mom or anything like that. Or going out with the girl and his own girlfriend to play the couple role taking care of the child. Whatever, but NOT them alone.
From her, OK, she needs a dad and at this age she's totally influentiable. From him is absolutely awkward, someone should open the mom's eyes, she's giving her daughter away if she does nothing.
2007-12-28 13:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by NC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, nothing to be concerned of. Just be sure he is not molesting her or something similar. If she enjoys spending time with him, it's OK. Since she doesn't like her real dad, it's actually quite healthy for her to be spending time with someone as a father figure. She's 12, she can use her own judgment to decide whether or not he is OK.
2007-12-28 09:15:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My father was MIA all of my life too and I had a brother-in-law that used to take me to differnt places with him. Nothing ever happened and it made me feel as though there was someone in my life who thought I was worthwhile. If this girl's mother feels safe letting her child hang around an adult male, I suppose we have to trust her judgement. I just hope nothing happens to rui it.
2007-12-28 09:25:53 · answer #4 · answered by phlada64 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL FIRST OF ALL, I THINK THIS "FRIEND" SHOULD HAVE A TALK WITH HER MOTHER AND THEY SHOULD KNOW AND TRUST THE OTHER. IF THIS IS A SITUATION WHERE THE MOTHER IS NOT AWARE AND INVOLVED, THEN I THINK THIS "FRIEND" SHOULD GET AWAY FROM THIS TWELVE YR OLD ASAP! EVEN IF IT IS JUST BIG BROTHER TYPE STUFF, DONT RISK IT. IN TODAYS WORLD, PEOPLE CAN ACCUSE YOU OF ANYTHIN GTHEY WANT. LIKE I SAID- IF MOM KNOWS AND TRUSTS THIS PEROSN TO BE A PART OF HER DAUGHTERS LIFE, THEN GO! IF NOT, THERES PROB A REASON MOMS NOT AWARE! THIS IS A TRICKY SITUATION! GOOD LUCK AND TELL YOUR "FRIEND" TO BE CAREFUL. OR MAYBE THE TWELVE YR OLD SHOULD BE. NO OFFENSE BUT ITS FISHY.
2007-12-28 09:36:40 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon E 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The mother is an idiot.
She should be with her at all times.The guy may be just a nice guy, then again he may be a pervert.I knew a 23 yr old guy who dated a 13 yr old girl.Its a messed up world we live in.The mother needs to be doing those things with her daughter.Take her to her grandparents aunts uncles etc.This is a big risk on her part.
2007-12-28 09:33:25 · answer #6 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well. If the mom trusts him, and he is the one who is the "male figure" in her life, i dont really see anything wrong with it. I would not really call it "friendship," but maybe he is like a big brother or something along those lines to her.
2007-12-28 09:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As ling as you or her parents don't notice any sudden changes in the young girl. Then there is nothing to worry about, she just needs a male adult fatherly figure. But from there on just don't worry about it. As long as she doesnt have any sudden changes in her attitude then don't trip. she good.
2007-12-28 09:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by *-* 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no...he saw a girl who needed a father and was in her life anyway so stepped up to the plate. if anything others should respect him for doing what the real father was too much of a coward to do. girls love, admire and respect their fathers above all else so im glad she found someone to do that for her. as long as their behavior together dosent suggest something bad is going on i dont see why this is even an issue.
2007-12-28 09:14:21 · answer #9 · answered by AnGeL.SlayeR 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Even if it is innocent...it is not appropriate. When 2 people become emotionally attached on one level, things may graduate to another level. I don't think it is worth the risk for either person.
2007-12-28 09:27:05 · answer #10 · answered by hewlett p 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋