we've had a number of arguments in the past. But he's always realised his faults, and made sure to mend things.since 3 months he has so much animosity within himself for me. He is verbally, emotionally&physically abusive, shows no remorse or guilt. He continues to be abusive time& again. there is a lot of stubborness in his attitude & even if i try to make him see how he is hurting me he denies it& insists he is not wrong in any way.Any little or meaningless thingagainst his will makes him spark & he'll use tht as an excuse to bring up past issues, uptill now i have been arguing back or trying to reason with him but it only leads us to go onto the vicious circle of arguing. at the same time he will buy me gifts from time to time and expects this way things to get normal. i dont understand this attitude. i like to keep distant from him, which makes him more angry & he says u r mentally torturing me so tht i shud leave u.i dont understand wt i cud do to make him realise his actions
2007-12-28 08:59:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wt I dont understand is the sudden personality change, i know hes being controlling but WHY
I want to give this one more chance b4 quitting cos i sooo want him to realise wt hes doing to me cos all these yrs he was sooo loving,y this sudden change.leaving him is not the answer YET
2007-12-28 09:09:34 · update #1
He says he behaves like this cos he feels i dont want him anymore. cud he be interpreting wrong signals from me just cos i am ignoring him for his abuse which he fails to see and in turn he gets more abusive wondering y i am moving away from him?
2007-12-28 09:11:35 · update #2
...dump the loser, before he makes YOU, one, too.
2008-01-01 08:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows how he's acting without you telling him. You say he always realized his faults; how about you? No matter how thin the pancake, it always has two sides. If you can honestly say you haven't done anything to make him so angry, then the next step is figuring out why. Is he on drugs? Has he found someone else? Is he hoping that if he's abusive, you'll leave him? He sounds very unstable and you say he's verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. This is dangerous. You can't reason with him or change him. It may be necessary for your safety to leave him and find a safe place to live. You may need to file a police report and get an order of protection. This won't keep you safe but at least the police will have some information if they have to come mop up after he hurts you.
2007-12-28 17:15:18 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are just seeing the person he really is.
He never showed you this side of him because he was afraid of losing you now that you are married he feels he can be the jerk he always was but hid it from you.
I think you have to mention some marriage counselling and get some professional help. Tell him to stop wasting money on crap to apologize and to spend the money on some therapy.
He is this way because he was raised in this form of husband and wife parenting he may have had an abusive father or a mother that didn't show him love.
Really tell him he either attends some counselling sessions with you or the only other alternative would be divorce.
You should never allow yourself to be abused in a marriage if you are being abused you should be calling the police and charging him with assault.
Abuse should never be tolerated.
God Bless and Best Wishes.
2007-12-28 17:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't matter. There is no good reason for a man physically (or verbally or mentally) abusing you. There is no right answer. Leave him.
If you really want to try and make it work, leave him. Tell him to even have a chance of getting you back he will have to go to therapy and anger management classes. If he's serious and wants to change, it can happen, but it won't happen overnight. I wouldn't think of getting back together for at least 6 months to a year.
2007-12-28 17:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by Aimee R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems awkward. Counseling may help and if he is physically abusive you need to leave him and this arguing is not good...drugs may be an issue or cheating....hmmm not sure about this one...but you say you have talked to him about this issue yet nothing has gotten better at all I think that you two should talk and see what you two can do. God Bless
2007-12-28 17:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by old 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing u need to do when he gets physical with you is call the cops and send his butt to jail, let him get some one on one alone time with his head. if he sees what he's doing wrong then, make sure he gets some kind of help. But if it persists you need to leave him and still send him to jail. People got to understand in no way is it okay to physically abuse someone.
2007-12-28 17:04:09 · answer #6 · answered by ~SweeT~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things you can do. Leave him or go to couples counseling. In the last few months, something changed in his life and he doesn't know how to handle it but he should not be taking it out on you for any reason. He's not telling you 100% of the things going on his life. Either it's drugs or some other secret. Please get help or leave him. Not healthy for you.
2007-12-28 17:09:16 · answer #7 · answered by luvly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's controlling you, mentally and physically. Get out now. Love has nothing to do with it.
2007-12-28 17:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by belle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is doing drugs? They can change your personality.
2007-12-28 17:20:01 · answer #9 · answered by Orleanslady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he may be on drugs....
2007-12-28 17:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave and show him you're not putting up with this crap.
2007-12-28 17:03:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋